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  Oct 2014 Silence Screamz
Raw words
My mother can't get here fast enough
I am falling into the darkest hole
A contemplation of being gone
Where to go and if I'll ever see you again is a constant reminder that I may never will
A constant reminder of who I am
Where I come from because being far from so long from my family is getting me cold and tired of living
I miss something that no longer exist in my presence as if they are of an ex partnership
Although they are who make me who I am
At a wedding
She dances with her father
I never get that chance
He's gone
And I'm sure others are in my place
Dancing with my father
Where are you
Why did you leave
If I go will you be there
God if there is one
Save me
Save me from this heartache causing influence to my morbid thoughts
My morbid thoughts of taking a life that exists to be with one that no longer exists
I'm so lost
Confused
If I cannot speak to someone I lie with
I cannot be with them
Openness is what I truly need
Someone who knows me
Someone who understands me
Someone who wants me for who I am
Inside
I'm in a bathroom writing at a friends wedding after her dance with her father
Silence Screamz Oct 2014
On a spring day

You killed me

Now silent. .You happy! !
Some people are never content in life until they bury someone or try to!
Silence Screamz Oct 2014
You can not rain
on my black parade.
Your words can't hurt me,
Are you playing a charade?

You are not in my mind
and I am not in yours.
Not understanding,
your word choice is poor.

Respect is but earned,
trust is simply kept,
honesty is but certain,
May you never forget.

We are just pawns
in the game of life.
Playing it solo
or living in strife.

So, I will take your words,
with a small grain of salt.
Taking it in,
it's not all your fault.
Silence Screamz Oct 2014
Does this poet
put down his pen?
Dark sadness grips tight,
tearing his skin.

Ripping his heart out,
buries his soul.
Feeling all tortured
and taking it all.

Looking about,
at all of the gloom.
Stirs up the ***,
sweeping his broom.

His mind is a mess,
seeking an answer.
Alone in the parlor,
with no private dancer.

His ink had dried up
and his pages were heavy.
One lasting poem,
come home, nice and steady.
I
loathe
fighting with
my entire being.
Maybe because I have
never really been in a fight
just observed my parents, my
friends, everyone around me and
watched as the tension built and built
and built making me feel as small as a child
and as powerless too. People don’t understand
the consequences of their actions, I don’t understand
people. But, I understand fights. Words are like slingshots
catapulting friendships into dangerous territories the words you
say sometimes you mean them, sometimes you don’t and it’s the
words you mean that are the worst. Those are the words you can’t
take back.  And what I understand about fights taught me this. A fight
is like a symphony it builds and builds until its deafeningly loud, and then
its quiet, and there is nothing left leaving its audience unbearably sad and at a
loss.
I wrote this poem for a class when I was asked to write about tension. My teacher hated it but I hope you like it.
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