how gently i would hold you
your ribs against my arms
my fingers inbetween
a pulsing felt upon my palms
the softest flesh against my skin
how careful i would cradle it
it was vicious from the start
but there is beauty in violence
has anyone ever told you the fastest way to someones heart

keyboards covering miles -
turbulent plights of backhanded fights, it isnt arguing if its explanation
i suppose for those whove known no difference in abrasive ways for twenty years of unchecked distance kissing specious missing patience, it is true or at the very least adjacent
drag the corpse if not complacent
heinous words are not creative
and lately all the heart i have has drained away to become tasteless

inside warm clothes and blanket
the one made for me by the drunken fingers of obligation and resignation
traded for several months of mine
I can't remember if it was ever a fair trade to begin with
once upon a time, though, I think I thought it was a win/win
funny how that is, time takes your experience
but experience takes your time
longing past relations glorified
only for myself to remind
of why it ended then
and why it should never begin again

soar blue skies
more to find
taste this sort of hue

you don't miss
sight fronted
sword's flight quick show

torn to life
you want it so
heaven or make some

sending clouds through silver rollers in my mind
cornered treetops of seven-paned patchwork skyline
with glass reaching to the planes

it is in moments of solitary names that it comes to me so peacefully in pain -
i wish that i could make you understand
just how gentle it can be to feel such complete despair resting in your hands

but here i stay
i fear i may
be lost again today

and as the same
it would pertain
the pulse inside my veins

sectionals of sky before my eyes
and i will never find it wise
to simply let it by to my demise,
but i digress -

an appetite of boundless ferocity
from which you will never be free
the only progress sets you back
its no wonder from the very air you breathe
perpetually between
because when you cross the line
all control is gone and forever unseen
it is ceaseless, unrelenting
and this is how it has to be

hide as you do
but I will always find you
and forever reside inside you
your very skin the walls that keep me in
take me by the throat
just try to **** me and survive
you know you need me

stuck in the middle
where nothing is bad
but nothing is good
it's sad how drab it is
but at the same time
it's steady

reliable
consistent
in the worst ways possible
when you're in the middle you don't get any pity
lost in a city sea of other people
no one knows your name
and no one will care to learn it
every day the same
sometimes all that I want is to
burn it

there's an ocean of fire in my eyes
in my mind
another sky but hazy smoky
lazy low key
another day at home

another day of arguments
another day of tears
year after year of anger and hate
they say
it's hard for those whose parents split
but wouldn't I rather that than parents hit
though they only hit with words
arguably worse

since they have enough to put food in my mouth and clothes on my back
no social worker will ring the bell
since my bruises are not visual
invisible wounds are visceral
infliction controversial contradiction
extinction of hope

viscous tears thick with love
a beauty so deep it bruises
transcendent and divine
the fire's release calling gently
caught entranced by the flames of immolation
heavy and profound
burning in your gaze

☆
crispy gold nugget in a wendys bag
drive thru love with an s class grade
☆
poetry plum picking purpley sky
pernicious persnickity perplexing but why
perilous prudent pervasive and high
plentiful panicking poetry pie
☆

calendar events days and numbers
jumped and wrought and carefully plundered
asunder to wander the wonder while over encumbered

work, heat, delta thermal
physics homework is eternal
pressure, volume, temp-er-a-ture
writing numbers of im unsure
diatomic, radiative
canvas grading is creative
gpa extrapolated
ideal gases suffocative
but i only need to pass
to relax at long last

one shift
two shift
red shift
blue shift

this wave has a certain tone
this wave has an antinode

some waves add to make another
some waves shorten in the summer

here's a wave that's really fast
this wave has really got to blast

but how to find velocity
find the length and take that lambda
multiplied by frequency

though when the amplitude is maxxed
a level you can't hear perhaps
the noise it makes is just the worst
so please
why dont you turn that down
that awful noise, it really hertz

Please/my/love, keep me awake
keep from hate
hate
hating myself for no one's sake but my own
but/yet, not even that
not for my sake
I can't even feel what it's like to be real
I don't even know where I'm going, please
please

please/my/love, take me to hell
before I take myself
make/me/see, it's not what I want
not what I want
not the place for me to be
before I take the one way trip
please/my/love, keep me afloat

coax/me, into your arms
into your life
tell/me, I will be alright
and by my side you'll fight
to find the light inside
because/my/love, you'll tell me that it's there
tell me that it's there
please
tell me it's there

what's a piece of poetry
type of textual pie
slice of life and of strife
human experience
for you here since
you asked so kindly
so politely
for some verse upon thy ears
tears upon thy cheeks
speak up another curse
another thought to seek
sleep to reimburse
hours burned inside your sight
what's a piece of poetry
type of textual pie

will you let me down easy
lower the webbing so gently
dont let me hold on to the putlogs so tightly
soften my grip on the entry
lay me to rest for a century
back fill my memories with petals
write on the stone with intention
eventually visit to tell me youre ready to witness acension
breathe in my lungs with devotion
release me completely without breaking motion
allow me to meet you in fourteen years and let my six feet of tears bring flowers to the fields

and will you let me down easy

will you touch my cheek without burning
and settle my sleepless turning
will you let me down in speaking
will you let me down so easy

breathing music into water
fingers pinched around a wine glass stem
a phone screen in a locked room
avoiding dinner table gazes
why do you want that

extra hours for today
but never quite enough to escape
why does he feel like that

the only thing inside
the only thing i will deny
to suppress is to nourish in a twisted kind of way
to reach and to hold
there are no longer lungs within my ribs
[]
im sorry
i shouldnt say that
please forgive me when i say i still need to forget you

paper in my hands
remember why the residue taunts at the front edge
its funny now, after all that, theyre the same too

dark mode no prose, subject to monarchy
low dose closed eyes the way im not supposed to
why did you ask to see that

the sound of crust from bread
the empty bowl in front of me
the way i call the animal
im thinking of white stitching
why did you choose to watch that

here, now
how many times have those images slept within your eyes
and could it ever be said
the way it has rooted in my mind
i secretly hope and i desperately dont
and im sorry but why did you suggest that or do you even know

to forever reside in rapture exotic
reverence heroic and calming melodic
will it ever be within me
to see the stars as she sees
drowned in my fear psychotic
stress noticed and intellect chaotic
I hope to one day
be the way that she bes
her charm unending rhapsodic

your driving is reckless
but im more concerned about the tires
and the fire in my throat

the bruises on my knees did not give respite
swiftly i was swept by my ineptitude
sick to my stomach when youre with me

i dont want it to be true
fingers crossed that its not the same for you
because all that i can say is

i just hope that i die quickly

watch wait keep it straight, waking in the wind
stop hate seeking fate, shaking over sin
crop rate leaning makes raking money in
botched fake seeing snake, baking honey tin

a hesitant pencil
but will tell her will tell him will tell her
and i will be the one who is argued
i will be the target of decision
but i am not a choice
existence forever questioned perpetually advised with viewer discretion
and i will have no voice
will, no, dont, and never had
headed plattered dead
what is desired, is that right?
and tell me its my fault
it is not my place
but i am still human
even if you dont agree
and this is not debatable
despite what you prefer to see

relentlessly unyielding
what am i to do but apologize
a leash does not affect the facts
nor can such a thing be held with strictness

i shouldve known it would only be
a disgustingly short matter of time
and in such a repulsively simple moment
but of course that is when i am
an unguarded unsuspecting witness

crushed to the ground at your feet
kneeling in pools of tears and guilt
dare i even ask such undeserved forgiveness

like the delicacy in a roadkill's silhouette
my teeth will leave a mark
an imprint from desire sunken gently through the surface
to break the skin like disturbing silent waters
i find some kind of aspect so alluring so grotesque
served cold over pavement
the world is the platter
the dish, my head

past tense, more than I
for tensely, I am current

sometimes
all that's
inside's
empty

her name not on your tab
her texts you've left on read
her smiles you don't have
her presence you now dread

I would rather not see
I would rather not be
another on the shelf

there's not much I don't know I do know
but there's quite a bit I know that I don't

slicing whispers
inside of your head
gun shots on your tab
liquor in your holster
several left for dead

why yes
I do indeed
want to read
another single chapter

she advanced like a gunshot
right through my heart and my life
pierced my chest with a blade
but there was love on the knife