Growing up as a child and a young teen was not the best,
The memories up to this day traumatize me:
I always remember the bad ones and never the rest.
Now don't take this as a sob story I don't take well to pity,
Just give me a few minutes to dwell
On a childhood that was anything but well.

It was the 29th day of March,
A long and eerie night
A miscarriage was near in sight
The doctor told her:
Its very possible that you will lose your baby
After hours of pain and blood loss
Came a bundle of joy with "cat eyes" that brought light to all a young mother's flaws.
It was a miracle.
"Its a baby girl, woah look at those eyes they are almost bioluminescent in the dark"
Parents could never be so proud to bring such a beautiful creature to the world.
"I wish all the best, to this little girl"

Life was great
But I wasn't truly welcomed
Some people my existence upset.
But as a baby and toddler, it was great all I had to do was breastfeed, cry and ****.
Then time happened and life became complicated.
My mom cheated (or was continuously cheating) and there was no preset
My dad wished there was a reset
And me... I was treated like an asset;
For money.
For **** sake my young years have been duped.


Jonesy 2019 ©

I feel like my mental health is deteriorating.
I've been more absent minded than before;
Like a ghost of my former self.

Tell me what I should do..... What I can do?
I feel so far from you
Its hard to believe that we are the same person.
I look in the mirror and can't even recognize you.

Shakespeare said "The world is a stage and we are all the actors"
So why do I feel like an understudy...
Of my own life.

But I get it now,
You just need to live a little.
Do things you never would have done
You're young.
Experience life a little

You were a child place into the role of an adult, too soon.
Your childhood was stripped from you like an animal being stripped from life.

It took you a while to realise it,
But you've got it now.
You're okay
You will be okay.
I believe in you.


Yours Truly,
Jonesy

"I have a hole in my heart."
Those were the first words he ever said to me,
As he tried expressing his feelings towards me.

"I have a hole in my heart."
Of course these words had meaning
Such feelings.
I could not say how I felt after that,
But my emotions cried a river.

"I have a hole in my heart."
I watched him clutch his heart,
Saw him moan in pain,
As his heart's depression finally gave in.

"He has a hole in his heart. "
When he told me this I never thought he meant literally,
Only emotionally,
A soft spot for me.

What am I supposed to do to help this boy
Who has a hole in his heart.


                                       Jonesy 2018 ©