Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
Matthew James Apr 2016
Poem 4
I'm going to give this context by starting off reading my old match and pof profile. This is genuinely real.

It's always hard to know what to say on these things so I'm just going to fill my profile with exaggeration and nonsense.
I would describe myself as a cross between Brad Pitts character in fight club and a sensitive fireman who likes kittens. Overall I'm pretty awesome. Kind, intelligent, hilariously funny, better in bed than a mug of cocoa. I'm a bit of a geek really. As a kid I just used to love drawing and watching cartoons. I have a ten year old golem figure which is still in its box. It's ok though. It's multiposable. I grew up on a farm. If you go back far enough there are signs of inbreeding. Which is cool because I've got extra fingers to tease you with.
I had two lizards when I was little. Their names were e's and whizz after the pulp song e's and whizz which was apparently about drugs. Lizards aren't like drugs. They're just different. You can't take a lizard to get high. You could possibly try it with the right kind of frog but licking a lizard just makes you look weird. Plus if you tried to swallow one I suspect it would get stuck in your throat. The lizard wouldn't like that. Plus you'd probably get done for animal cruelty but it's ok because you'd have the excuse that you were just smacked off your t**s on Lizard. Anyway, these lizards kind of melted. This was real, not because I was on drugs. I didn't really know about drugs back then. I hadn't licked a lizard. Lizards aren't like drugs anyway, but we've already covered that, it's a bad analogy. Anyway, it was kind of sad watching them, I think I over heated the tank or something. But they had a happy life before that, I looked after them.
I think it's kind of an analogy for life though. You can spend your life worrying about your lizard. Buying it all the right food and keeping the temperature just right. But then you never really enjoy your lizard because you're too busy thinking about its food and it's heat. So, the alternative is that you just get on with things. Enjoy your lizards, crank up the heat and see what happens. I think life is better like that. Not for lizards though. Mine melted. You've got to keep their temperature right. It was a bad analogy.  

Yes, I'm still single... But on to the poem

An ode to online dating - AKA online dating is a lizard in a tank

When you go online, you're  a lizard in a tank
On your own in empty online spaces
Your pea sized brain has drawn a blank
From all the empty, passing faces
As this one passes she gives a grin
She taps your buttons, turns up your heat
Your eyes rotate, step foot to foot
You hope that she'll dip her hand in
Frill your neck and show you want to meet
But she swipes to the rabbit coz he's got a cute ****.

Some "customers" just go to look
Some are scared that lizards bite
Some of them, their nerves are shook
By a previous lizard fight
Some wonder whether they should buy
But think they might get something better
Some buy, then put you on the shelf
Some people think you're worth a try
But switch for something to make them wetter
Makes me reflect upon myself

People are creatures led my habit
Distracted by your Lizard brain
Looking for someone to share your maggot
To change your colours, You try in vain

My frustration is 2 things
1. People expect everyone to be the same
2. You get dragged into meeting an expected role

Muscles, protection, hair, humour, genuine, confidence, normal, drive, good job, nice clothes, nice house, nice car, nice things

Beauty, slim, eyes, *******, legs, ****, no baggage, easy going, don't argue, work hard, play hard, independence, no shame

What if everyone doesn't have to be the same and going for what you always go for gets you what you always got? I've got no answers to it all.

I'm going to buy a lizard instead.
The lizard is alone.
The lizard is small,
looked down upon.
By some.
the lizard is unafraid.
The lizard leaves her comfort zone.
She leaves it all behind.
An enemy comes.
And removes her tail.
She does not struggle
to hold on to it.
She leaves it behind.
The lizard is...
Looked down upon.
But the lizard is unafraid.
She leaves her comfort zone.
And enters the King's palace.
To dwell in the Presence of the King.
She is small and wise,
and lives in the King's palace.

I am like the lizard.
Looked down upon.
By some.
I am afraid.
To leave my comfort zone.
I will,
I must,
leave it all behind.
I will leave the tail
of my past sins and regrets behind.
If that is what it takes.
If that is what it costs me.
To enter the King's palace.
And dwell in the Presence.
Of my King.
Inspired by Proverbs 30:28, Holy Bible
Idris Muntaqim Apr 2020
Dr. Curt Connors has unfortunately morphed into the Lizard, as you can see;
The Lizard has created a formula that'll turn the coronavirus patients into super-reptiles like himself and I'm speaking honestly.

When Peter Parker finds out what the Lizard has done, he changes into Spider-Man;
The web-head swings through the air, searching for the Lizard, as fast as he can.

When Spider-Man finds the Lizard and the villain sees him, he tries to attack the hero;
Before he had searched for the Lizard, Spider-Man had created an antidote for his foe.

While fighting the Lizard, Spider-Man makes him drink the antidote, which is wonderful as can be;
The antidote has restored the Lizard to his human form and mentality.

As Dr. Connors, he thanks Spider-Man for turning him back to normal, which is polite;
Spider-Man always does what's right.

Dr. Connors tells Spidey that he's gonna create an antidote that'll completely cure himself of his condition, which is swell;
Spider-Man swings away and that's all that I'll tell.
Kelly Wood May 2013
The lizard slinks across the
Warm, smooth stone.
Light footsteps pitter-patter
Through the sand, barely leaving footprints

It curls up in the lamp provided light
Pressed against slightly heated glass
The ornaments scattered in
The clear aquarium
Don’t keep the lizard entertained for long

The lizard is like a Joshua tree.
It tries to grow to a height
That has not yet been seen
Its environment tries to slow it down
It grows with persistence, and moves a bit faster.

The lizard will soon shed its skin,
It anxiously waits for a new chance.
For a roomier layer in which to live.
The days stretch on;
But it won’t be long
Til’ the lizard is in a bigger place.
In the parched path
I have seen the good lizard
(one drop of crocodile)
With his green frock-coat
of an abbot of the devil,
his correct bearing
and his stiff collar,
he has the sad air
of an old professor.
Those faded eyes
of a broken artist,
how they watch the afternoon
in dismay!

Is this, my friend,
your twilight constitutional?
Please use your cane,
you are very old, Mr. Lizard,
and the children of the village
may startle you.
What are you seeking in the path,
my near-sighted philosopher,
if the wavering phantasm
of the parched afternoon
has broken the horizon?

Are you seeking the blue alms
of the moribund heaven?
A penny of a star?
Or perhaps
you've been reading a volume
of Lamartine, and you relish
the plasteresque trills
of the birds?

(You watch the setting sun,
and your eyes shine,
oh, dragon of the frogs,
with a human radiance.
Ideas, gondolas without oars,
cross the shadowy
waters of your
burnt-out eyes.)

Have you come looking
for that lovely lady lizard,
green as the wheatfields
of May,
as the long locks
of sleeping pools,
who scorned you, and then
left you in your field?
Oh, sweet idyll, broken
among the sweet sedges!
But, live! What the devil!
I like you.
The motto 'I oppose
the serpent' triumphs
in that grand double chin
of a Christian archbishop.

Now the sun has dissolved
in the cup of the mountains,
and the flocks
cloud the roadway.
It is the hour to depart:
leave the dry path
and your meditations.
You will have time
to look at the stars
when the worms are eating you
at their leisure.

Go home to your house
by the village, of the crickets!
Good night, my friend
Mr. Lizard!

Now the field is empty,
the mountains dim,
the roadway deserted.
Only, now and again,
a cuckoo sings in the darkness
of the poplar trees.
JR Rhine Dec 2016
All hail the Lizard King,
whose esoteric words crawl like sirens
over hungry rocks
baring teeth to the hypnotized sailor
steering his ship into the jagged maw.

All hail the Lizard King,
perched upon his Dionysian throne,
ambrosial ecstasies fill his cup
while jongleurs dance to psychedelic chansons.

At his feet
prey the nubile maidens of yore
flower-eyed and pearly-teethed.

His eyes, mighty azure pools of madness
within which Byzantine kings were murdered--
blood darts through the mysterious waters
into the hysterical white void.

Alexander the Great
sits poised like a statue
where his libido crouches like a panther
'til the aural adonis
leaps from his confines
an amorous figure of tantalizing flesh and blood
with supple lips pouting, naked muscles taut,
mad eyes gleaming.

All hail the Lizard King,
from lush lips poetic decrees
sing forth into the endless night
penetrating taverns and bedrooms and radios
and stadiums.

The electric shaman leaps from his throne
to cast his wicked incantation,
a spark from his eyes shoots to the pyre
where a lustful blue flame erupts from
the bones of the prophets.

HIs voice soothing, haunting,
the sonic alchemist
sings his siren song into the cataclysm
where we are cast in abeyance--

We follow him,
but is he only leading us deeper
into the darkness,
or does he truly see the light?

The endless night.

All hail the Lizard King.
Arlo Disarray Jul 2015
i saw a spiny, little lizard
whose skin was rather dry
i told him he was ugly
and it made the ****** cry

i told him i was sorry
but then that was just a lie
the ***** boy ran off
and he had himself a cry

i laughed as he had an outburst
i got huge tears in my eye
this lizard was hilarious
quick jokes right on the fly

he didn't have to work too hard
he didn't have to try
he was a clown by nature
i will laugh until i die

the lizard ran away from me
because i made him cry
the rude ******* just took off
without telling me "goodbye"
i work in a pet store, so i was inspired by an iguana who was making me laugh.
SøułSurvivør Aug 2018
There was once a little boy
Without a friend
without a toy

A little girl who's gone astray
Without a guide
she lost her way

A man who walked
the desert sand
Lost within a foreign land

There was a lady who was lost
Wandering to count the cost

The way was hidden,
did not show
They all had no place to go

Suddenly they heard a sound
Puzzled, they all looked around

There was a lizard on a rock
To their amazement it could talk!

Here I am! The lizard said
Right here in this rocky bed!

Meet me here,
Come one, come all!
Hear me as I make this call!

Come see what I have in store
You won't be lonely anymore!

They listened to their
lizard brother
Come to find they met each other!

They made new friends
Were not alone
Due to that lizard on a stone.
I'm making silver and copper lizards that are wrapped around some semi-precious stones as jewelry. I'm going to sell them at a street fair and at swap meets. This little poem will be included with the sale of the jewelry.

I apologize for not being around. Life has been very difficult for me lately. And I've had to make a decision as to what I'm going to do to make money above and beyond my social security disability. Since I'm handicapped it's hard for me to get around. So I'm going to work from home. I hope I can be back around soon. Take care!
John Stevens  Feb 2014
The Lizard
John Stevens Feb 2014
The lizard approached
the beautiful tree..
made his play
you might say.
Started to climb
with such glee
intentioned to stay
all the day.
He then went limp
down he fell.
What had happened
no one could tell.
He was checked out
when he lost his function.
Found to have
a dreaded problem..
    ... called...
Reptile Dysfunction.
The Lizard might have
stopped to See Alice
before the charge or his friend

(C) 03-2014. John stevens
Watching too much TV
I need help!!!
Nat  Nov 2012
Lispy Lizard
Nat Nov 2012
After moving to Windowville from a smelly pet shop,
Lord Lispy Lizard felt he would soon be on top.
The view from his new place was quite superb,
Lispy couldn’t believe he’d had doubts about the burbs.
“This year will be swell,” he thought, “It’s my time to shine.”
It was easier to think this away from mildew and brine.
However, Lispy was in for quite the surprise,
as there was a roommate in his highrise.
Shy, she had been watching from behind the plants,
nervously eating handfuls of ants.
Being alone for so long had taken quite a toll,
her former good looks had faded and left a troll.
Still, she was determined to confront this stranger,
in order to see if he presented any danger.
She was not too worried, he didn’t look like much,
and she was certain she could take him with only a touch.
Hardening her resolve, she lept out with a shout,
forgetting she had forgotten to pluck her mustache out.
This was not all, she had not bathed either,
And the yell she let out sounded like a deranged ******.
Needless to say, Lispy lept up, screamed, and bolted.
Both because he was scared, and a little revolted.
“Just my luck,” he thought, cowering behind a rock.
“But I’m a man, I’ll go out there and at least try to talk.”
So Lispy stood up and brushed himself off,
clearing his throat with a less than manly cough.
“I’m sorry…miss? I didn’t mean to run
It’s just that I’m allergic to the sun.
I got scared when it’s rays reflected off your pretty smile,
And thought it best I took off for awhile.”
The girl was a little confused, her teeth were very mossy,
she knew this because she never did any flossing.
But she decided to go along with his claim,
saying “That’s okay sir, let me tell you my name.
They used to call me Elenor, back when I feasted on Orange Roughy,
But the fatty whose cage we’re in just calls me Fluffy.”
Lispy couldn’t believe this thing had been rich,
especially when she looked even worse than a witch.
Still, he was a gentleman and did not want to be rude
so he said “What a pretty name, where does Fatty put the food?”
“I’ll show you,” she said, “C’mon, follow me.”
Beginning to think how nice it would be
if they ended up married and had lots of kids,
as it must have been fate that Lispy showed up when he did.
So later that night Elenor jumped in the pool,
scrubbing away dust, dirt, grime and drool.
She plucked out the unsightly hair on her face,
and pulled out a ribbon from inside an old case.
When Lispy was awoken by bright sunlight streams,
the vision he saw was that of his dreams.
There Elenor stood, shining like a star,
looking nothing like the former monster all covered in tar.
He couldn’t believe she had cleaned up so well,
with not even a hint of her old sour smell.
With this one look Lispy fell in love,
as if he had been struck by something up from above.
To this day Elenor and Lispy live in bliss,
even though she had not brushed her teeth before their first kiss.

— The End —