I think and I thought
I weep in my dear thoughts
What have I done
What could have been
I lay in regrets on a single mistake

It was a day like any other
Coffee in the morning
Feeling the warmth of the sun, in my face

I was in battle for days
A battle of currencies
A battle of endurance
A battle in which, I am getting drained
My mind is tired
My body is weaken
My thoughts are in disarray

With a click of a mouse
I have lost it all
With that click of a mouse
I have fallen down
With that click of a mouse
I felt a slash in my heart
That hurts like nothing I ever knew
With that click of a mouse...
I have became nothing but a rotting log

As they say,
When it rain, it pours
Today, hard as I tried to stand again
I never could
The clouds thunder
The lighting strikes
I have became nothing but a rotting log, soaked in mud

The skies are grey
The end is not in sight
The pain is beyond my threshold
The pain is killing me slowly
I feel suffocated
Suffocated with failures
Months of success, undone by a single click

I can only hope, I can get up again
I can only hope, the sun rises
I can only hope, I can only hope

It 4:19 and I should be sleeping
     But here I am, sitting up. Thinking
It's 4:20,
     and yet I am still drinking
It's 4:21,
      I miss the smell of your clothes
It's 4:22,
       Where did you go when I needed you most?
It's 4:23,
       Why did you leave me all alone
It's 4:24,
        The time is moving slowly, it makes everything that much more lonely
It's 4:25,
        And I have nothing else to say
It's 4:26,
        I don't even want to know why you walked away.
It's 4:27,
        Goodnight sweet friend

Invisble choke hold on my throat
Churning stomach acids
Seeping up my esophagus
Unwelcomed irrational fear
Breaking down the door
The door to my panic reflex
Sweaty palms
Lungs feeling like hardened clay
Heart beating hard beneath
A shakey rib cage
Voices float around me
But the words are drowned out
Like sinking under water
Focus out of sight
Out of mind
I am against the ceiling now
Only to crashland
Back into existence
In a time laspe of mere minutes

Repetend gerent war ashes
Laspe humanity plume the
White heat lyre of Benu and
Sin actuates titonomachia quarrelling
Over the actinic lymph mother, Gaia
Succumbing unto the familiar solstice
Of Pandora's box wist' nights
Ricketiness randan morn' curtail
The nebulous clouds of lauded occidere
Homeric laughter to stick in ones gizzard
Sans the wraith brazen head to steal
A march upon forty feeding like one
On the vegetable lamb of Tartary
Ridding annulment.


ELEETE J MUIR

I don't stop
Crying, when others
Enter the room.
I just cry quietly
Or laspe into
A silent weeping.