The collie, fur grayed and patchy, lopes away from his house,
Ostensibly bound for nowhere in particular,
Knowing only that it is that time, his time,
And, as he wanders away for to await that last solitary purpose,
Meanders past a pock-marked and rust-patched single-wide,
Occupied by a young woman (a girl, in truth)
Nursing a newborn, child whose father
Is one in a wide range of unpalatable options.
Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah.

They walk, the residue of some boy meets girl,
Along the quiet main street of an equally quiet town,
Utility poles garnished with benign, contented snowmen,
Low-hung five-pointed auguries strung with tinsel,
Brobodingnagian candy canes swaying rhythmically in the wind.
They have arrived at the unspoken yet mutually understood conclusion
That they have taken their particular accident of birth and geography
As far as such a thing may go, yet they walk hand-in-hand,
Fingers intertwined, though tentatively, in some interim rationale.
Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah.

On a hill above town, there is a rambling, low-slung edifice
Multiple-winged single-story octopus of a house
Well appointed though sparsely and diffidently decorated,
More hotel than home, decidedly transitory in form and function.
In one of the rooms, dimly lit with little ornamentation
Save a Charlie Brown-esque tree squatting forlornly on a bureau,
A woman is reading softly, almost mechanically,
As if it is a story she has read out loud countless times before,
To a man who is heeding, perhaps, though it is clear
That the act is more essential than the words on the page.
They have a daughter who would be there,
Sitting in a chair or on the edge of the bed,
Hands clasped, though in service of or supplication to nothing tangible,
But she is home with her toddler, a whirligig of a child
Who has found some hidden presents
And is tearing away the wrapping from the boxes,
Laughing unrestrainedly as he showers himself
In a red-green-gold ticker-tape maelstrom.
Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah.

I can barely stand right now.
Everything is crashing down,
And I wonder where You are.

I try to find the words to pray.
I don't always know what to say,
But You're the one that can hear my heart.

Even though I don't know what your plan is,
I know You're making beauty from these ashes.

I've seen joy and I've seen pain.
On my knees, I call Your name.
Here's my broken hallelujah.

With nothing left to hold onto,
I raise these empty hands to You.
Here's my broken hallelujah.

You know the things that have brought me here.
You know the story of every tear.
‘Cause You've been here from the very start.

Even though I don't know what your plan is,
I know You're making beauty from these ashes.

I've seen joy and I've seen pain.
On my knees, I call Your name.
Here's my broken hallelujah.

With nothing left to hold onto,
I raise these empty hands to You.
Here's my broken hallelujah.

When all is taken away, don't let my heart be changed.
Let me always sing Hallelujah
When I feel afraid, don't let my hope be erased
Let me always sing Hallelujah.
Let me always sing Hallelujah.

I will always sing
I will always sing
Here's my broken hallelujah.

I dreamt a man descending from a cloud
Amidst birds in a lengthening crowd
Singing hallelujah Christmas is here
In merry notes did rejoice and cheer

Singing hallelujah Christmas is here
Amongst sparrows and many a pigeon
Leading the choir from region after region
Singing hallelujah Christmas is here
In merry notes heralding so fresh a new year

Singing hallelujah Christmas is here
There were robins and many a skylark,
Alighted upon so gentle a wind's back
Singing hallelujah Christmas is here
In merry notes gallivantin' here and there.

Singing hallelujah Christmas is here
Lets fly above the highest mountains
To go quaff nectar from silver fountains
Singing hallelujah Christmas is here
In merry notes were heard by the far and near.

Singing hallelujah Christmas is here
So sung the nightingale and cuckoo too
Till from gazin' sight vanished in clouds of blue
Singing hallelujah Christmas is here
Let the world rejoice and sing hallelujah


© Kikodinho Edward Alexandros,
Los Angels, California, USA.
DEC/22/2018

Today I wanted to buy the copyright to the process of hallelujah
******* in joy the same way whales eat krill
You just bottle it up inside your lungs until you have enough

Inside my fridge I have vacuum sealed jars of hallelujah
There’s nothing religious about that
Jars labeled things like
Loss of virginity
Rob lived this time
The homework is complete

Hallelujah

It’s the same way prayer works
Backwards
Pulling bits of god like an inhale

I want to hyperventilate on your hallelujah
Like a gospel choir on speed

It collects
Over time
For instance
It was maybe a month in to sleeping at Delia’s and Toffer’s house
Before I realized
I didn’t have to sleep in my car anymore
You go into the bathroom to **** and realize
Hallelujah
A jar labeled
Found a Home for now

I know science can do this
For the sake of all that is a monument to a single life
So that on your death bed, or at your funeral
Everyone there can hold a jar

Cold and warm at the same time
Vibrating in their palms
In violent joy
Like mozzletoff cocktails
They are thrown
And when they shatter there is a song
That has been collecting for years

The same word in different tonal joys

Your life

Every good moment

Hallelujah

The music played beyond the skies.
Brought tears to all of heavens eyes.
Weeping angels pouring though you.
Its melody makes your spirits rise.
In peace your aching soul sighs.
The world is singing hallelujah

Hallelujah

No belief inside you stand aloof.
If you want my faith bring me proof.
She took your heart with soulful eyes
Made you fear all last goodbyes.
You changed freedom for a wooden chair.
Inside her parlor sitting there.
In passions breath
she stole your hallelujah.

*Hallelujah


You tell me now to call his name
I don’t know who they’re all the same.
It really doesn’t matter who.
Any one of them will do you.
There’s love and hope in every word
No matter whose voice you heard
The hallowed or the frozen hallelujah

Hallelujah

Lost and broken I know I did my best
My soul’s asleep but cannot rest.
I know the truth it isn’t much.
Religions only fool you
I hear the heavens haunting song.
I sing the words with fervent tongue
Life is short and death is long.
I’m weeping hallelujah

Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah

Hallelujah , Christ has already deliver me.
Hallelujah, Christ has already healed you.
Hallelujah, It just we need to walk it out.
Hallelujah, I know that you are Special.
Hallelujah, you are always in my prayers.
Hallelujah, remember you are very special.
Hallelujah, I shall keep praying for you all.

Pray for me,
God knows I need your prayers.
Amen.
Wish better on me,
God knows I'm beat down by naysayers.
Amen.
Eyes and hearts so vacant,
Starlet-smile empty shells.
Amen.
Easy words, complacent.
Open lips and full-up hells.
Amen.
Amen.
God is love, take me to church.
He knows I need something in my heart.
Hallelujah.
Accept me, catch me in this downward lurch.
God save the poor broken thing, this heart.
Hallelujah.
God is light, take me to church,
Darkness never scared me this much.
Hallelujah.
Please, don't hurt me, aide this search.
I can't think over the loudness, it's too much.
Hallelujah.
**Hallelujah.

Composing Hallelujah

Fractious lines crack,
holiday decorate the spirit inferior,
while each note upon the priest's guitar
penetrates the aspirin roughened interior,
face slaps me, daggers and accuses,
you're not composing hallelujah.

So I mislead, big deal,
composing the anti-hallelujah,
yeah, I was ******* with you,
as you sit across from me electronically
pretending, me to you, you to me.

Lie to each other with smiling faces,
you too have reaped,
been emotionally *****,
by what our minds see and sow,
scowls and howls,
we've both grown our own demons.

My secrets, maybe are all there,
maybe, writ loud and clear,
in the songs I choose to share,
and in the unrevealed ones,
buried alive, held in reserve,
but not, for your average, rainy day,
could be today, you have no say.

Are we not all veterans of a kind,
don't we all have ribbons on our chest,
stripes and stars on our khaki blouse,
a record of our own great campaigns,
including the war to end all wars,
the never ending one,
the one the ******-historians renamed,
"The 24/7 Year Conflagration"?

It used to be just my secret, no more
don't need a cartoonist to tell me that's
the enemy is us, and there are moles, traitors,
hidden deep in our intelligence organization,
planting seeds, urges, pushing to
out the identity of our communist friend,

Depression

I don't mean the ordinary, garden variety,
a mere moody blues recession,
when funk is sourced from gray clouds,
served up proper, cold and wet,
then travels on when sun warmth
clarifies temporarily, the aspirin kicking in.

So I misled,
composing the anti-hallelujah,
yeah, I was ******* with you,
sit across from me and lie to me,
lie to each other with smiling faces
we reap what we own,
scowls and howls.

A chorus of harmonious poseurs
inside your own City Center,
vocalize the lyrics of the anti-hallelujah,
a composition of questions directed at
whomever in tonight's audience deserves it,
asking, nerving, to sing too loud, at decibel speed:

Are these verses, curses
about D,
our mutual acquaintance,
or just research notes for further followup,
part two of a pas de deux, and,
did you go this time, too far,
or still not far enough?

-

Let's get drunk off cheap wine.
Make out under the stars.
Feelin' spiritual tonight.
Hallelujah, amen.

I worship the taste of my lover.
Soak up the sweat from his skin.
Feelin' spiritual tonight.
Hallelujah, amen.

Singing praises that sound like moans.
Sighing his name, scarring his back.
Feelin' spiritual tonight.
Hallelujah, amen.

Laying claim to the blessings.
Anointed by hot breath.
Feelin' spiritual tonight.
Hallelujah, amen.

Some would call this sin.
Some would condemn, but I'm
Feelin' spiritual tonight.
Hallelujah, amen.

Maybe there’s a God above,
but all I’ve ever learned from love,
was how to shoot at someone
who outdrew you.
It’s not a cry you can hear at night.
It’s not somebody
who has seen the light.
It’s a cold,
and it’s a broken Hallelujah,

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

Words and Music by Josh Garrels

Children of the Earth
Once dust but now alive
Livin’ in tents of flesh and bone
We hold spiritual fire.
Set a flame in my heart
Illuminate the darkest hours
Where I wait before the dawn
To see the glory and the power
Of the Lord

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

The older we become
We must become more like a child
Believin’ there’s a land that lies beyond
All things that we’ve seen
Make my mind free from fears
You know I can’t do it on my own
The way is high,
But we could fly over
When you heal our wings.

We sing

Hallelujah, Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah

This song is so simple yet means so much to me.  There are so many things to comment on, but the one line that is applying most significantly to my life right at this moment is:

“Set a flame in my heart, illuminate the darkest hours, where I wait before the dawn to see the glory and the power of the Lord.”

I feel the flame of the Holy Spirit burning within, and yet I continually try to put it out, allowing darkness to set in.  Oh that the Lord would end me and show His glory and His power.  May the dawn of His redeeming grace burn like the fire on Mount Carmel, through the water and the trench, making all my sinful darkness be extinguished by perfect Light.  I believe! Only help my unbelief.