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Deadwood Jawn Dec 2018
I've been surging with...
                        N E U R O T I C  E N E R G Y
                  
                                                                ­        All day
                                                             ­           at work.

I had to
         try and
               keep it
                     under control.

Control...                                    Control..­
o                                                   o
n                                                   n
t                                                    t
r       ­                                             r
o                 ­                                  o
l                                                    l
.       ­                                             .
.                 ­                                   .
.                                                    .

It's her. It's her.
Come on... Summon it.

I can still
              S E E  H E R
            e             e
          e                   r

E        V        E        R        Y        W       H        E        R        E

S h e ' s
                    a l l
                                    a r o u n d
                                                                ­ m e . . .

Dark, neurotic,
          blackened,                                   ­             - crimson goes here -
                  jet aura

I am
  Terriblyyyyyyyyyy                                       They spent
                                   y                                      more time
                                     y                                    with her
                                         y
                                              y
               ­                                  y
                                      s   s s
                               s
                            s
Jealoussssssssss

I should have come...
Right..?

We argued.
         Arrows shot everywhere.
              It felt good to
                    trade blows
                         with her.

I was                                           (haha!)
     so ****
        angryyyyyyyyyyy

                                  I­ must say, she
                                      takes a lot -
                                  Resilience? Nah...
                                      EMPATHY.

WHAT AN ACCURSED WORD.
EMPATHY. EMPATHY. EMPATHY.
HOW I SEEK YOU!
EMPATHY. EMPATHY. EMPATHY.
                                       .
                D I S C O R D.
                                  e  
                        ­      e
                          e
                      e
            ­    e
            l
b

Sometimes
I
Am
Just
So
Mad
At
You.

Sometimes
I
Am
Just
So
In love
With
You.
                                                  ­                               I am not
                                                             ­                    special to
                                                              ­                   you.

                                     Queen of the Nine!

Every time the healer healed me
I think I wanted to hurt again.

When she touched me yesterday...
I...
   It was...
        I just...
           I was...
              I really...
                 I craved it more.

It is unwise to persue her.
Distance yourself, warrior.
You must protect the..
             FRAGILE
               GLASS
                VASE
                   IN
                 YOU.

It is in pieces.
You are in pieces.
Look at what you cannot have.

                                      ... I shouldn't have become
                                          vulnerable to you
                                          that very night ...
(Written a day ago in a journal I have) Regarding frustration, guilt, intense anger and also regret. Plus, jealousy. Overall? A bad time. Many conflicting feelings. A long talk is due with an unrelated friend. I must exorcise the negative energy. I will also invest my empathy in others now.
Andrew  Sep 2017
Phoenix
Andrew Sep 2017
I was a flailing phoenix
Trapped underneath a waterfall
Unable to rise from the ashes
While being continuously extinguished
Until you constructed a dam
With the flotsam from my heart
I opened my wings and emitted light
Fearing waterfalls I took my fire flight
I was elated to have migrated
Where the weather was tropical
And the conditions seemed optimal
But your aggravating absence
Endeared an enigmatic essence
A vengeful apparition
That conjured rain
I desperately craved your protection from the elements
Until I noticed the precipitation was my infatuation
For you and the things you do
The things you build
Make rivers stay still
And the things you say
Make me regret being ***
Because you're a ******
You live in your exclusive dam
Your teeth are like cleavers
Gnawing on sacrificial lamb
Before there was anything that mattered everything that would ever be existed , it was the essence of totality , it was without dimensional constriction or necessitated form .  Optimistically speaking time had no relative realism to it’s progression because realistically nothing had happened yet .  As it continued it became according to it’s innate inflections as a functionally integrable form .  The questionably understandable nature of it’s conjunction was an omnipotent directive beyond necessitated action or morphological construction .  The enigmatic consciousness of it’s relatively interrelated conception was spontaneous and yet it continued without elemental omniscience.  

As the relative complexity of it’s interrelations evolved dimensional consistence was born.  Humanly understandable laws of physical integration governed many facets of it’s conjunction yet the totality of it’s ramification was beyond humanly realistic conjecture .  

The organic morphology of biological ontogeny was a conceptually reflective derivative of functional physical mechanics yet it’s diversity exceeded it’s physical complexity , understanding evolved .  Relatively extraneous interpolations of adhesively practical extremity succeeded in a hierarchy of functionally integrable forms .

Retrospectively speaking pragmatic practicality is a humanly rational possibility .  Rational logic can conceive of individually totalitarian structural forms , yet the implosive nature of their rational cohesiveness becomes a practical partiality due to the diversity of their definitive impetus .

Perhaps the essence of our being is the logical counterpart for the matrix of our subjectively conclusive social fragmentation , or perhaps we are evolutionally incapable of cumulatively rational correlation.  Problematic diversity could be perfectible on an individually infinite level or contrarily perhaps ubiquitous causality is the ultimate survivor.  

In any case it is beyond our subjugatively rational cohesive coercion to intercede en masse on our own behalf as an integrated unit. Our conceptual abilities have been thwarted by the unmitigatably individual nature of our extraneous conclusiveness .
Re-post
ryn  Mar 2015
Spectrum Blue
ryn Mar 2015
Blue is the boulder overlooking the bay
Loosely pocked by weather-worn stains
Unwavering guardian of all that lay
Enigmatic yet silently screaming its pains

Blue is the reflection dancing playfully
Laid generously by the twilight moon
Upon the vast canvas of the darkened sea
Elated ripples readily accepting such a boon

Blue is the halo encircling the moon
Lavish circlet gifted by the sun
Unnoticed by eyes that slumbered too soon
Evading the sands of time that run

Blue is the silhouette of a lone sailboat
Lurching and bobbing by will of the waves
Unknowingly catching the zephyrs that float
Eluding the fingers from watery graves

Blue is the man; perched upon the boulder
Lapping up the stars mirrored upon the sea
Usurped heart of his had never sung drearier
Ensnared by woeful wonderment...
                                           *
*that man is me...
jcl  Oct 2018
moon flower
jcl Oct 2018
enigmatic, exotic
alone, deep in the jungle
fierce, afraid
passion, love in her eyes

to hold her, is to lose her
to have her, is to **** her
ephemeral, a ghost
a dream, a fantasy
never to be had
Written to accompany photos of a flower https://flic.kr/s/aHsmiTGp93
sophia Jun 2017
it wasn’t chaotic.
it was calm and serene,
like the ocean.
the soft pitter patter
of the rain on the roof,
and the cool air it brought.
it was a sip
of freshly brewed coffee,
natural with no additives,
whatsoever.
the gut feeling
of knowing where home was.
and that is how
you came into my life.


the star that shines the brightest
amongst the pitch black sky.
it’s the white cloud that outshines
all the gray and gloomy ones.
the perfect fit of the last piece
to the unfinished puzzle.
it's the warm, fuzzy feeling
of getting into bed
early on a Friday night.
and that is how it was
when I started loving you.


it’s like a deeply cut wound,
one that’s inundating
with crimson colored blood,
having a tinge of maroon.
it induces pain
with every inbreathe
and exhalation.
it manages to have
the appearance of a scar,
yet it still feels so fresh
like a bruise.
and that is how it felt
when you left.


it was filled with haze
and suffocation.
the uncontrollable fast paced beat
of your heart.
Mona Lisa's enigmatic smile,
one that is hardly understood
by majority of the world.
a bite of dark chocolate,
bitter and sweet.
and this is my survival.
stuck in the third season,
but i'll make it to the fourth
Enigmatic and peculiar
Nothing but a mystery
A puzzle that no one can solve
This racks one's brain repeatedly
The more you try to understand
There is nothing but mass confusion
Filled with darkness and uncertainty
Along with bitter frustration
Cunning Linguist Nov 2013
Hella business
Got hella *******
Poppin double bottles
With a couple of mistresses
Stellar mistreatment
Here's the key
Lock em in the cellar
Forever their memory lies
But a troubling mystery

Hysteria erupting
Like waves gushing
From the tip of my *****
My genius is better
I'm the King here's my scepter
Now watch the teeth
You worthless Queen
Or I'll stifle them screams

I **** ******* on trampolines
Motion sickness?
Overdose on Dramamine

Slave to the magnitude
Of my impressive **** munching
Exploring deplorable nether-regions galore;
Can't touch me you got nothing
Broke *******
Grind your brain like morning coffee beans

Shame is a word just outside the boundaries
of my fabulous vocabulary

Oh, am I contrite?
How trifling
Check my charm I'm enlightening
Enigmatic and igniting sporadically like lightning
Magically radical voyaging down
                                                           down
                                                  down the rabbit's hole
Inciting excited riots to light fires spark fuses and chew on live wires
You do not frighten me.
Delivering excruciating asphyxiation to every pwn'd n00b
Is my modus operandi
And this is my magnum opus

I have Tourette's

Conceive these merriments of abhorrent mental abortions
Precisely concise and incisive concocting incoherent comatose monstrosities to flatten your lifelines
Conduct these ensembles of debauchery and narcotics -
I'm fascinating;
Crippling your mind like a lobotomy and tripping the light fantastic through bombarding planes of consciousness
I'm on acid thraxXx'd the **** OUT and faded
Levitating fading and oscillating in time while inflating my ego

But lets be realistic
the caliber of my linguistics is intrinsically aesthetic
but none too altruistic
Untrue!
Be reasonable lest I demand be-headings on grounds of treason
Its not hard for me -
It's profound, the sound of suffering;
I'll swallow your soul
'Tis the season!

Inference for instance -
****-hand upturned to oceans of incessant peasants
Pestering to ****** and fluster your festering ****-hole
Exact my revenge; begin phase mayhem
initiating total brain annihilation
interring bodies posthaste with skilled persistence
And sporting in poor taste
RESISTANCE IS FUTILE

You who peers through eye of the pyramid-
Would you be so kind as to interpret my footprint at face-value?
Do you take me for a fool yet seek prophets reaping profits?
Listen to them sleep, baaah-ing away like flocks of little sheep
My hearts not on my sleeve but I have a trick or two up there;

Now bow before my marvelous flow
As I behold my throne whilst throwing bows and exposing hoes.
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