Humans are funny little beings; they fall.
Falling recklessly in and out of varying degrees of affection; they tell.
Telling each other half-truths and half-lies; they reveal.
Revealing their most closely guarded secrets at a slip of the tongue; they feel.
Feeling emotions unforeseen by their own cortical matter; they think.
Thinking about futures that may never even be theirs to live; they breathe.
Breathing the love that clouds the air and developing immunity; they write.
Writing vague poetry to soothe their noisy souls; they hope.
Hoping the universe really does have a plan for them; they journey.
Journeying through that amusing series of events they call a life; they live.
Living- really living through it all.

the noxious dragon in the spine awakens
some kind of poisoned Kundalini
stretches upwards, burrows downwards
sends out spiral tendrils across tendons
enraged villi seeking
something, anything
to sink themselves into and cause
neural ruination
a kinetic torment raging

Abilify
you seemed to amplify
the monster inside me

Vivid dreams
of a devil in the driver seat,
Mirrored back
in my rearview, 
on the way to a crime scene
in my mind
where one of our sisters
was given plastic surgery
via shotgun

A crackling static
tears through my brain
and takes me
to the Ideation of 
self-inflicted martyrdom

Idealized death
put on a pedestal

hanging
in a basement
Of the subconscious

Until I wake up and suffer

I've
Had enough of
the akathisia

I can’t ******* sit still
I feel like 
my heart is going to beat out of me
When I’m already light-headed
I see me from outside me

Depersonalized!
this blood is poisoned 
with restless impulses

I can’t fight
or flight
just freeze 
and pulsate
an S.O.S.
to the telegraph 
at the other 
end of this the 
other half of
This sorry soul:

*If pain is a void 
I can feel you missing 
Where the doctor
Filled the hole
With prescriptions.

Will you hold me,
hold me,
until these looping
distress calls
cease?