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Thomas Sparrow  Sep 2016
Lobsters
Thomas Sparrow Sep 2016
Lobsters in the ocean.
Lobsters in the traps.
Lobsters on the lobster boats.
Never going back.
Lobsters at the Co-Op.
Lobsters in the car.
Lobsters topped with seaweed
gettin' closer to the fire (pronounced far with a drawl accent)
Lobsters in the steamin' ***.
Amazing Grace, they're done.
Lobsters on the table.
Lobsters.
Yum. Yum. Yum.
An Isle rose up from the ocean swell
On the seventeenth of June,
It was totally unexpected by
The M.V. Cameroon,
She’d sailed with seven passengers
And some cargo in the hold,
They all kept well to their cabins for
The deck was more than cold.

The Captain up on the bridge had checked
His maps before they sailed,
Had marked his course dead reckoning
Though the gyro compass failed,
They’d been at sea for eleven days
So he took a fix on the stars,
Then left the wheel to the Bosun while
He searched for the coffee jar.

The ship ground up on a coral reef
At two in the morning, sharp,
The night was black as a midden since
The clouds had hidden the stars,
The hull bit deep in the coral as
It drove ahead with its way,
Grinding slowly to come to halt
Just in from a new-formed bay.

‘There isn’t supposed to be land out here,’
The Bosun cried to Lars,
The Captain said, ‘I fixed a point,
Dead reckoning by the stars!
There shouldn’t be land in a hundred miles,’
But the ship was high and dry,
‘It must have come up from the ocean floor,’
The Bosun said, ‘but why?’

The passengers spilled out onto the deck
With cries and shouts in the gloom,
‘What have you done, the ship’s a wreck,’
Said the Banker, Gordon Bloom.
The sisters, Jan and Margaret Young
Burst out in sobs and tears,
‘How are you going to float it off?
We might be here for years!’

At daylight they could see the extent
Of the distant lava flow,
‘Lucky we’re not on the other side
Or we’d all be dead, you know.’
The tide came in and the tide went out
But the ship was high and dry,
As clouds of steam from the lava flow
Poured out, and into the sky.

‘We’re not gonna starve,’ said Andy Hill
As he peered down onto the reef,
As thousands of ***** and lobsters crawled
‘There’s plenty of them to eat.’
They lowered him down on a rope, along
With the engineer, Bob Teck,
Where they gathered the lobsters up by hand
And tossed them, up on the deck.

The evening meal was a feast that night,
They ate and they drank their fill,
‘Too much,’ said Oliver Aston-Barr
‘I think I’m going to be ill.’
But Jennifer Deane, Costumier
Had an appetite for four,
She ate the scraps that the others left
And was calling out for more.

The following morning all was still
Til Jennifer Deane came out,
She roused them all with a frightened scream,
And then continued to shout:
‘I’ve got some horrible bug inside
And I’ve lost my sense of taste,
It must have come from the lobsters, for
It’s eaten half of my face!’

The lobsters must have been undercooked
For the symptoms would appal,
A necrotizing flesh eater
Had started on them all,
The flesh was eaten from Andy’s hand
And the leg of Gordon Bloom,
While the sisters Jan and Margaret Young
Lay screaming in their room.

The sickness took them rapidly,
For Jennifer Deane had died,
They had no place to bury her
So threw her over the side,
The ***** then swarmed and attacked her there,
Ate all of her flesh away,
There was little left of Jennifer Deane
Before the end of the day.

Each time that one of them died, the rest
Would fling them over the side,
The bodies had piled up higher out there
Than those alive, inside,
Til finally, Oliver Aston-Barr
Was last to die, on the bridge,
Of the Motor Vessel Cameroon,
Upthrust on a lava ridge.

A winter storm was to float it off,
It drifted out with the tide,
A rusted hulk with ‘The Cameroon’
Paint peeling, off from the side.
An ancient freighter, crossing its path
Drove past it, steel on steel,
And that’s when the helmsman held his breath,
‘There’s a skeleton at the wheel!’

David Lewis Paget
Mateuš Conrad Sep 2017
i'm sorry, embracing darwinism is an abandonment
of carpe diem: there is no way that
the anglophone world will ever fully embrace
existentialism, the anglophone world is
orientated around up-keeping their golden
quack's worth of the goose that laid
golden eggs in a grimm's tale -
    it will not pass me, even though i'm drunk
and half the spectator's worth of chant,
you're not getting "one" past me...
             why? it's simple!
            the english speak more shakespeare
than dante...
             and that's for starters...
     whenever i look at english t.v.
i'm less glutton & more anorexic,
    less political & therefore more docile...
the ******* nodding brigade.
  nod, sneeze, nod some more,
pretend it's head-banging, you *******
tickling peckham *****...
          *******, and **** your
ellie charlie and prince albert whatever you
******* call him of edinburgh
who could play that vampire, like he always
plays a vampire, that charles dance:
****** has a 11" ****'s worth of voice...
now come on, darwinism is nearing death...
    i'd prefer the idea of nibbling on bamboos
like some panda; you sure we didn't
evolve from bears, instead monkeys?
mono-apparent diet though...
come on, take it to ease up life...
             seems i has a lost sense of humour
running rampant...
     even the russians are laughing:
**** me: that's a joke in itself...
          moscow giggles?
    that really ought to come from a *******'
**** joke philander of breezes
smoking a cinnamon ridden pipe
with a jew on the side...
               kippah for a bowl?!
             what, jews are careless when saying
a joke, you being anti-semitic all of a sudden
while i say mine?
       chinese never slurped a noodle soup
while utilising chopsticks?! you sure
you didn't see grandpa ying-ju slurp
that chicken broth up?!
they didn't! bring in the french cuisine experts
regarding au jus!
*******, gonna boil them like,
wide-awake,
oh i've seen a chicken get decapitated on
a stump of wood, with the cannibalism
that ensued, while the decapitated head
rolled off the slub, lazy eyed while
the other chickens made a religion,
and pecked at the blood...
           silence of the lambs had its hannibal:
time for a caesar:
       concerto of lobsters....
           shrill... itching with a chalk pecker
on a blackboard...
so what's absurd with coupling darwinism
with continental darwinism?
well...
  man gets the monkey,
woman? she gets the black widow & the mantis...
that's what!
            i'm not not up for that sort of
gamble...
          someone should have said:
english darwinism does not couple well
with continental existentialism,
to be honest darwinism is the enemy of
existentialism...
   the two can't co-exist!
          we already have the thematics in
place with women:
the upper hand, given the numbers,
man resorts to monkey, woman?
   a black widow spider & the mantis...
   who has the upper-hand?
   english "existentialism" i.e. darwinism
is crude, obsolete, hardly revelatory -
tell you what's crude about "reality"
one man who just sat on a toilet,
another who sat on an armchair,
and another who sat in an electric chair,
walk into a bar...
                  what? there's no joke,
the joke is already stated in the disparity!
you don't reach the heights of existentialism
with a shortcut akin to darwinism...
you don't get that benefit!
        come on, get with it:
you already have enough fickle people
playing peanuts and gherkins with:
             god is dead: enter the dietitian;
you're busy, make a move at imitating
the icelandic peoples,
and incorporating an app. that tells your
mating partner, if you're at least 5 times removed
cousins: you know, so we don't get anymore
orangutan reminders in human form
(downs, eyes really close together,
can't miss them: the mad call them: 'ere
by god's grace... or that strange form of love
coming from a psychotic *****);
no, darwinism is really ******* in terms
of "trying" to catch up to continental existentialism...
darwinism in comparison to existentialism
is a neanderthal...
   oops...
       man gets the drumming monkey,
a girl gets the black widow & the mantis -
       and then we inherit the nag hammadi
trans- of everything without exception sexuality:
boy gets pink, girl gets blue...
and we're all happy gleeful
  passing st. peter with a ***** strapped to his head:
**** me... these "pearly" gates, look
    just like those gates of auschwitz!
can i just have the fate of those
concerto lobsters, please?
    i'd like to sing a song while boiling
within the zenith of a castrato exclaiming:
          i lost m'ah *****! yet i kept on singing!
linda barrett  Jan 2014
Lobsters
linda barrett Jan 2014
Lobsters
@2014 Linda Barrett

They sit in the cramped corners
of the water tank
face each other
armored claws bound
with thick rubber bands
These shelled warriors
take on boxer’s stances
wait  their chance
to attack each other
in impromptu bouts
They step over one another
pick fights for dominance
of their watery ring
Some desperate crustaceans
decide to make their escape
reach out for the tank’s top
but fall over backwards
onto each other
Those lucky ones
usually win
when the Seafood man
in his white coat
pulls them out
makes the champions
of someone’s dinner.
Laura Jane Apr 2015
She might laugh if she read this
at the flat little version of her
that lives in my mind.
She may laugh
at my comparison of her
to a hideous sea spider
but hear me out
it could be touching.

David Foster Wallace wrote:
“Since pain is a totally subjective mental experience
we do not have direct access
to anyone or anything’s pain but our own;
and even just the principles
by which we can infer that others experience pain
and have a legitimate interest in not feeling pain
involve hard-core philosophy—
metaphysics, epistemology, value theory, ethics.”

"[Lobsters] do have an exquisite tactile sense,
one facilitated by hundreds of thousands of tiny hairs
that protrude through their carapace.
Although encased
in what seems a solid, impenetrable armour,
the lobster can receive stimuli and impressions from without
as readily as if it possessed a soft and delicate skin.”

and so

“We lift lobsters out of the bag
or whatever retail container they came home in
…whereupon some uncomfortable things start to happen.
However stuporous the lobster is from the trip home, for instance,
it tends to come alarmingly to life when placed in boiling water."


As much as I cannot comprehend the pain
of the exquisitely tactile lobster
in a *** of boiling water,
I wonder if I could
walk a mile in a lobster’s 8 minuscule shoes
and I wonder
what it might mean or not mean to her
with her armoured yet acute exoskeleton
to be back at home with her father.

They might try to butter you up
or snap elastic bands
around your oversized claws
and use a wooden spoon
to try and nudge your thrashing, clinging arms
back into the ***,
but remember:
lobsters can live to be over 100 years old
and grow to over 20 pounds in size
which is very large for an aquatic insect
and remember that they are marine crustaceans of the family Homaridae, characterized by five pairs of jointed legs, the first pair terminating in large pincerish claws.

And DFW famously said,

“Everything I’ve ever let go of has claw marks on it.”

and he's not a lobster either
Quotes are from Consider The Lobster and Infinite Jest by DFW
Dak  Apr 2014
Lobsters.
Dak Apr 2014
Staring through my reflection
at the lobsters in the tank.
Tears welling, not for them; but me,
envious of their imminent fate.
THE BALLOONS hang on wires in the Marigold Gardens.
They spot their yellow and gold, they juggle their blue and red, they float their faces on the face of the sky.
Balloon face eaters sit by hundreds reading the eat cards, asking, "What shall we eat?"-and the waiters, "Have you ordered?" they are sixty ballon faces sifting white over the tuxedoes.
Poets, lawyers, ad men, mason contractors, smartalecks discussing "educated *******," here they put ***** into their balloon faces.
Here sit the heavy balloon face women lifting crimson lobsters into their crimson faces, lobsters out of Sargossa sea bottoms.
Here sits a man cross-examining a woman, "Where were you last night? What do you do with all your money? Who's buying your shoes now, anyhow?"
So they sit eating whitefish, two balloon faces swept on God's night wind.
And all the time the balloon spots on the wires, a little mile of festoons, they play their own silence play of film yellow and film gold, bubble blue and bubble red.
The wind crosses the town, the wind from the west side comes to the banks of marigolds boxed in the Marigold Gardens.
Night moths fly and fix their feet in the leaves and eat and are seen by the eaters.
The jazz outfit sweats and the drums and the saxophones reach for the ears of the eaters.
The chorus brought from Broadway works at the fun and the slouch of their shoulders, the kick of their ankles, reach for the eyes of the eaters.
These girls from Kokomo and Peoria, these hungry girls, since they are paid-for, let us look on and listen, let us get their number.
  
Why do I go again to the balloons on the wires, something for nothing, kin women of the half-moon, dream women?
And the half-moon swinging on the wind crossing the town-these two, the half-moon and the wind-this will be about all, this will be about all.
  
Eaters, go to it; your mazuma pays for it all; it's a knockout, a classy knockout-and payday always comes.
The moths in the marigolds will do for me, the half-moon, the wishing wind and the little mile of balloon spots on wires-this will be about all, this will be about all.
"Will you walk a little faster?" said a whiting to a snail,
"There's a porpoise close behind us, and he's treading on my tail.
See how eagerly the lobsters and the turtles all advance!
They are waiting on the shingle--will you come and join the dance?
Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, will you join the dance?
Will you, won't you, will you, won' t you, won' t you join the dance?

"You can really have no notion how delightful it will be
When they take us up and throw us, with the lobsters, out to sea!"
But the snail replied, "Too far, too far!" and gave a look askance--
Said he thanked the whiting kindly, but he would not join the dance.
Would not, could not, would not, could not, would not join the dance.
Would not, could not, would not, could not, could not join the dance.

"What matters it how far we go?" his scaly friend replied.
"There is another shore, you know, upon the other side.
The further off from England the nearer is to France--
Then turn not pale, beloved snail, but come and join the dance.
Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, won't you join the dance?
Will you, won' t you, will you, won't you, won't you join the dance ?"
Jellyfish  Dec 2016
Lobsters
Jellyfish Dec 2016
We stand there laughing
As lobsters are fighting
I suggest their plotting
some kind of escape?!

You tell me nooo,
they're definitely fighting.

We stand and watch it out.

I lean against you and smile
at this tank in the store.

Then we move on
and continue to explore.
James Court Dec 2017
Mary had a little lamb,
two lobsters and a Christmas ham,
a three-pound tub of chicken wings,
seven bratwurst tied with strings,
thirteen loaves of garlic bread,
a schnitzel bigger than her head,
four rare steaks, a dozen eggs,
caviar and turkey's legs,
strips of bacon, mushroom stew,
chunks of bread and cheese fondue,
and two whole jars of sauerkraut,
(to clean all of her insides out).

Finishing the pasta salad,
Mary soon looked drawn and pallid.
"I don't feel well," poor Mary said.
"I think I need to rest my head."
Then from her stomach came a moan,
a straining, churning, twisted groan.
Mary gasped; her eyes grew wide.
She'd only seconds to decide.
What could she do? Where could she go?
Her stomach was about to blow!
So, reaching for the nearest bucket,
she retched, and then began to chuck it.

All the courses that she'd swallowed,
and the apertifs they'd followed,
all the steaks and all the fish,
each and every single dish
came flying back from in her belly,
filling up the bucket smelly
with a foul and toxic brew,
and no one knew quite what to do,
so this went on for ten whole minutes
till Mary had expelled her innards.
When she was done, her eyes were red,
and sweat was pouring from her head.

"Are you alright, sweet Mary dear?"
her mother asked. She didn't hear.
For Mary was already off -
the waiters saw her try to scoff
the whole entire pudding bar.
Now, this had pushed her mum too far.
"Alright!" her mother cried, "I'm through!
I've done the best that I can do.
I'm sick and tired of all you eat.
I will not pay for all this meat.
I'm going home. Go get some help —"
Then Mary's mum let out a yelp!

She glanced down at her legs and saw
sweet Mary there begin to gnaw!
She struck the lass, but with great haste,
alas, the girl had reached her waist.
As Mary's ma was there devoured
by her offspring, overpowered,
she cried one thing ere final slaughter:
"It smells like lamb in here, my daughter."
Mary licked her lips and grinned.
She belched out loud and then broke wind.
She felt her tummy start to rumble -
and calmly ordered apple crumble.
Don't judge me, I was really high when I wrote this.

— The End —