I'm constantly checking Snapchat and Instagram, and instantly decoding your posts like a cryptogram. In a millisecond my brain goes from using a gig of ram, to oozing out ten petabytes, like *******.
It won't slow down and I'm trying to stay chill, so I gotta down another bottle of pills. This also helps with the hunger that I'm trying to fill, going from starved, to full, to just feeling ill.
Nauseating dizzying feeling and I'm flustered, populating my stomach with crackers dipped in mustard, I don't like food, but I've started to wonder why my ribs hurt, might be the undying hunger.
I can't pull my eyes away from it as I slit upon my thighs and think of a beautiful ***** I'll never get, so I get lost in distractions to forget her. I've come to accept that this is the truth as I accept the cold and give her my sweater. Attempted controlled suicide at a park plus the letter. If she goes in for anything then I guess I will let her. But every time she touches me it lights a fuse that only activates when she's not around, only clutches me closely when there's nobody else in the vicinity inbound making me feel deader.

You left me alone in the debris of your thoughts. You set me on fire and just let me burn,
just like the rest of the useless things in this world. You kept shoving pills down my throat like xanax, synthroid, zyprexa and klonopin just to get me to change who I really am, but I don’t even know who I am.

You kept telling me that I’m not good enough,  that I’ll never be good enough. So I can’t get through a day without telling myself that I’ll never be able to succeed  anything, that I shouldn’t even try. That’s probably why you left.

My life was a lie upon many that I never chose to accept,  because you said you loved me. You said you wouldn’t leave this time. But you saying you love me was just a figment of my own illusion because the next day you were off with some other girl.

I won’t lie and say I’m fine because I only have 182 bones because you took my rib cage out just to get to my heart. I won’t say that my brain doesn’t think about you anymore because my memories of you takes up 2.6 petabytes of my mind, it’s overflowing.

I drank every night just to eradicate you from my mind.  I had a system overflow and I wasn’t aloud to reboot myself, I wasn’t allowed to erase you from my life.  In my life we were perfect but in yours we were just a nervous wreck  and when our bodies collide all you could think is how to end it.

I guess you were never worth the brutal beating,  or the left over beer bottles scattered around my room. Because now I can finally say I’m over you…  Or at least I think.