one day my teacher asked me
why I always wrote in lowercase letters
her glasses perched on the top of her beak
she squawked,
"you were not taught that in school, young lady.
it is not proper, young lady."

and I gripped my pen tighter
or maybe a little looser
it's hard to tell lately.

but I looked in to her black beady eyes
and disapproving frowny face
and whispered "see how I am whispering
do you see how you are leaning closer
like I have a secret
more intimate, correct?
that is my writing:
an intimate secret.
for you"

I used to do it slow
Drag the knife like a violin bow
Just to see my blood
Spill out the way it should

slices in lowercase
BLOOD pours in caps
pAiN is togglecase
CaLm is toggled opposite

I used to feel spite
Nipping at my heart day and night
But then I found the knife
And everything was alright

slices in lowercase
BLOOD pours in caps
pAiN is togglecase
CaLm is toggled opposite

I used to be so good
Better than any child ever could
And then the pAiN found me
So dense, it is, I cannot see

slices in lowercase
BLOOD pours in caps
pAiN is togglecase
CaLm is toggled opposite

I used to write letters
And hope they'd know me better
When I finally left this world
Ripped free like an oyster's pearl

slices in lowercase
BLOOD pours in caps
pAiN is togglecase
CaLm is toggled opposite

I'm a different person now.
I'm no longer in pAiN
I'm living in apathy
In ever-constant rain

Slices are merely cuts
And blood is nothing big
Pain is simply life
And calm is nonexistent

The method behind the madness
Always shows in the end
I cut my arms to see my blood,
Feel the pain and realize I'm alive again.

such a small word
blending into the background
always making an appearance
but never recognized
so used
so beaten up
so lost among the swirling fog
such a simple concept
but as familiar to us as water
slowly trickling over our sentences
over our words
embellishing our writing without us even knowing
sometimes
i like to think
that we should become more aware
of the little things
of the tiny details
of the lowercase
in our lives



-k.l.