A blessing in disguise
A breath of fresh brittle *** dry *** ****** air
It's like refreshing to know of hope
...to know that you're gonna be ok in the long run
But you don't know my mind
..it won't **** the ******* hell up
It's telling me to just think about every single problem in my life...
All I see is wrong because of that
All I see are people judging me
White people staring at me from the cars, in the hallways
....I begin to believe what they see
A criminal...
And ....
I'm gonna make something outta this little mess
...I read this thing on twitter
Where it was like you get so caught up in your mess and you continue to make more mess
And when it's all said and done you look back and feel hopeless as **** because ur mess is ******* huge
...if that makes sense
But I'm sick and tired of npbeimg sick and tired
...I'm tired of the same ******* story every day
...this is my new beggining

Mommy screams to much
and daddy's so quiet you'd swear he wasn't there
My brothers where are they?
my razor blade I can't find it
These mental scars I can't hide it!

stitches tape and glue
mabey that will connect the two
peices back together

cause just talking wont help me out
thats all im asking for
but noone can hear me
when I seclude myself to my room

swallow them down choke them up
im to much of a chicken **** to try
so why doesn't everyone else just die

told me it'd be better if I jumped off a bridge
had a pine box bed to roll around in
what if i really did
would you feel guilty
would you feel triumphent?
cause your pushing me farther
and farther to jumping.

The mountains are silent
serene
solid in their poise.
Birds laugh in the branches
over those living each day
spirits borrowed
at the prelude to all creation.

Take heart,
love will hold us together
uprooting discontent from the soil of our dreams,
a diligent gardener
devoted to maintaining all
which is beautiful,
all that is ugly
yet magnificent.

And

We with tangled souls
are deemed the unlucky ones,
who've arrived at the revelation
of our own insignifcance
in the greater scheme.
This unknown plan
(This is but the beggining)
(a cosmic comedy).

In the afterbirth of your re-emergence
You are cleansed and pure
but this is not the cause
of this unending cycle.
Hope exists inside you
a lighthouse of levity
no force can deconstruct.
It is part of your humanity,
much in the same way
you are a part of me
and
I
You.

The new beggining when you start to roam
to rise through the clouds away from home
The new beggining when you arrive here
a brand new life away from there
We are born each from our mother womb
Or infact in this our ancient tomb?
Everything is not relayed by how it seems
What do you want? be it desire or dreams
Follow your dreams then, before you are old
To inspire in life, let your stories be told
The blessed sun by day bathes us in light
Though the moon doesn't always bring us night
There are many lessons to learn, many to give
So open your hearts to freedom, start to live!

Tear after tear showered down from her eyes
Wishing at that moment she could've flied
Words ran through the air attacking her
People of all ages laughed at her

Sometimes the world gets so unbearable
Trying to survive, trying to be lovable
If you try to be yourself you get rejected
You have to be another person to be accepted
Fake a smile, fake a life, live a lie
People will love you, will cherish your every smile
Being true means you're weak
Being you means you're a freak

She laid down on the ground crying
Alone in this world she was sighing
People walked past her ignoring her tears
Laughed at her, forgetting the she feels
Not because she's different she's not human
She's just a person trying to be a true one
She was living her life according to what she given
Knowing that in the end she had to give in

People are all clones of each other
They all look alike it makes you wonder
Where are all the true people gone?
Is shallowness and materialism a must now?
Her image was not accepted in the society
She had to give in and lose wieght quickly
She couldn't bear the suffery she was going through
She wanted to be happy, wanted something new

At the beggining she cut down her food
She appauled dinner, everything was good
She lost a little weight after days
But that wasnt enough because nothing had changed
She cut down her food a little bit more
Sacrifices had to be made so she'll be adored
Everyday she'd way harself on the scale
Then she'd say "it's not enough, i look like a whale"
Everyone noticed how thin she was getting
But she didnt believe, she said they were lying
The pain inside was still living
Like a tree it was still growing
Made her believe that she was fat
And no matter what she'll always be like she always had
To become thinner she considered food her enemy
She stopped eating and considered exiercise her remedy
She became thinner and thinner everyday
Hoping that the sun will shine on her someday
Days, months and years passed away
In the hospital she lies today
The doctor says there's a big chance she's dying
The little pupils in her eyes go drowning
Everything went wrong when she went further
When all she wanted was to live happier
Unfortunately, happiness didnt make it's way through
Because the tree of pain had already grew
It's covered her sight with it's shadow
She couldnt see the sunshine even if she tried to

People around her were still the same
And deep inside still lived the pain
Nothing could've changed her view of happiness
Unless she decided to erase the loneliness
Now her life is ending and for ever more
She's lost everything, she's lost it all....

Poetic,
Sometimes sympathetic
A villain,
Convicted fellon
Refined like nickel,
Under the sun Im silver
Knight in armour
A compassionate killer
Named the flower
Along with the children
Lover and Fighter
Not sure which is better
The speed demon, Saint Christopher
Now tell me whats it matter

x2 What's it mean to ye
Cause it makes no difference
Death's just a new beggining

Raised a hood rat
Low income's my haven
Mother's an angel
father's a Demon
Im just a product
Of the environment i live-in
I got a rough exterior
But my heart is golden
So whats the meaning
for all the cursing

x2 What's it mean to ye
It makes no difference
If i can find happiness

I slave to the grind
Money's the fruit of my harvest
A machine is my temple
And at work im an artist
Got tree's in one pocket
The sun's in the other
Combine them together
And inhale magical fire
Work and play
Not sure which is better
Need them both to survive
Now tell me what's it matter

x2 What's it mean to ye
Cause it makes no difference
It's my life, now let me live it

two souls aligning
other halves colliding

Tim Hecker
And crowds
A match made in heaven
Earphones in
I glide through the crowds
Each glitch becomes
The next person (a glitch in nature)
Each hush
Becomes a waft of permafrost air
And the rhythm blends in with a thousand feet and faces
Elements become
Hustlers
Bourgois ladies and their little dogs
Stern old men
A lost looking child
Or
Those two girls - restrained by mall security

People try to untangle my expression
I am euphoric
I am exalted
By my music video
Playing just for me
Here
Now

I'm beggining to like these people
I hope the music doesn't wear off

They say the stars rarely come out in New York
But have you been over it, while sitting in an airplane?
New Yawks a galaxy
A galactic city named atrocity
Urging people to find themselves, and learn about themselves
Narcissistic like astrology  

New York rushes me
And brushes me
OFF
New York is so inspiring
But yet
My thoughts are stuck in traffic
And trust me
We have writers on every block

*** holes
That mock

The tapping of your shoe
As you try and try to hush a crowd
Just so that you could get through

We got news anchors talking about how somebody got shot
and sometimes you feel your spirit beggining to rot
Because you can't stop
Imagining bullets
Shooting In every angle
Just dipping into your wakefullness like lullabies
Once in the heart
Twice in the eyes

And three in each ear
It's like **** what you think, feel, see and hear

But It's next year and your still here
In the city where the sound of an ambulance
Can be your alarm
and with a stranger you'll sit arm to arm

So come camp out in Brooklyn under the bridge because your heart will know exactly where those lost ideas now live

Come take the subway and study the map
It'll let you know where to go to get all your inspiration back

And if all fails head to the flea market somewhere sorta creepy downtown
And get yourself a muse
She'll show you around.

You
You made me feel what it is like,
to be hurt,
to be hurt so bad,
I thought that I was going to die,
You made me feel like I had been stabbed,
I felt like I had been stabbed in the stomach
Where you knew that there would be no hope,
no hope for recovery,
or for life.
And you enjoyed it
Enjoyed my pain,
and my suffering

You made me feel what it was like to long,
to long for peace,
to long to see any one but you,
yet long to see you everyday at the same time.

You made me feel what it was like to need,
to need to get away from you,
but also need to be with you.

You were like the sun,
warm and pleasent,
yet cold and out of reach,
I needed you to go on,
but you shined in my eyes blinding me,
blinding me to you motive,
to break my heart,

I was your icicle,
you melted me little my little in the beggining,
but then made me freeze up.

You were the bull,
and I was your matador
I evaded you for a while,
and then tired,
letting my guard down
and you hit me,
you hit me so har
I flew backwards
hitting the fans in the grand stands.
I was dazed for a while,
and then got angery,
I took revenge on you,
but you won again,
I was hurt,
and always will be.