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scatterbrained Aug 2017
Fifth grade:

Today the boys and girls were separated so they could learn about their body parts. You weren't sure you understood, but the teacher said you didn't have to be afraid of change.

Seventh grade:

Today the class started to learn about ***, but all you did was look at diagrams. Your teacher told you it was alright to giggle.

Eighth grade:

You've decided you'll wait until marriage, because your teacher told you that was the right thing to do. You can't wait to have a family.

Freshman year:

Your health teacher tells you that 50% of people will catch an STD, and he shows you pictures to make sure you don't become one of the statistics. He reminds you that it's immature to giggle.

Sophomore year:

You fell in love last year, and he thinks it's hot that you're still a ******. You tell him that you want him to be your first. He wants to sleep with your best friend instead.

Junior year:

That boy won't love you back, no matter how hard you try. He wants your body on his, and that's about it
But you want him
Maybe you even need him
And you know that *** is supposedly about love, so if you love him then that's enough,
right?
But while you laid there and cried, he wouldn't even look you in the eyes.

Senior year:

You can't explain why things are red and itchy and you're missing so much school. But finally the doctor called on a Tuesday, and you have to tell your mother what's wrong with you.

You can't stand the way the pharmacist looks at you when you pick up your prescription
You know your new lover deserves more than this
And so do you

Because your fifth grade teacher never could have warned you about these sorts of changes
And you really did want to wait until marriage
But freshman health didn't warn you about someone who would lie to you, someone who would kiss you while he kills you
And the statistics couldn't prepare you for the names you would be called
The sleep you would lose

It's funny how my fingers shake, how they spill their suffering onto a page
I've written this poem a million times, but somehow the only thing that ever surfaces is shame
Because I can't forget that my silk underwear broadcast a warning sign
And now my life will never be the same

This poem is dedicated to all my regrets
It's dedicated to loving you, to hating me, and everything in-between
To reminding myself that my mother was wrong when she said no one else will ever love me, because I know that I am worth loving
I dedicate it to the burning and itching feeling of missing you, because sometimes I still do
This poem can be about the way i shake when I think about ever seeing you again
Or it could even be about the way my lover has to hold me while i try and breathe

You have left your mark on me and it has grown into blisters
And while I am teaching myself to hate you, I hope you think of me each morning.
scatterbrained Mar 2017
I can't explain why I'm so lonely but I feel it in my bones
Sometimes it creeps under my covers and claws at my toes
There is only one thing I can hope
That I'll see the sun before forcing my tired eyes closed
scatterbrained Jan 2017
In the beginning God created the Heaven and the Earth
On this First Day he started it all
They were only atoms, simply a little essence of life here or there
But today he said to himself, "Heaven is where their souls will meet and Earth is where they'll dance."
Then God said, "Let there be light," and my oh my, there was light
A sliver of life was suddenly the beginning of a good man
And a collection of atoms turned into blonde hair and blue eyes
But when God looked at the light, he was able to see darkness too
The dark was different though, for it was not warm and inviting
But the qualities it did possess were mysterious and enchanting  
He quickly learned that one could not exist without the other, the Light and the Dark
and while they were so drastically different, they were magnetically drawn together, destined to share the world forever

On the Second Day, God brought forth the sky, along with day and night
He could see it all ahead, the way their days would feel so bright and their nights would feel so warm

And when the Third Day came God was full of excitement and pride for all of his work, but he knew he could not rest quite yet
So on this day he clapped his hands and up rose dry land
It began as just mounds of dirt, a barren stretch of ground
But as seeds fell from the sky God caught himself smiling at the emptiness
Because he knew he would never forget the way the colors sprouted from the ground, and how it made the emptiness feel so full
Their favorite things were sprouting here, shooting up into the sky like magic
Lavender as far as the eye could see, and as many flowers as there were peach trees

Next was the Fourth Day, and it would be one of immense work for God
Today he would hand pick each wandering soul, each little burst of life, and he would delicately place it in the sky
He decided he would call them 'stars', as he arranged them in a peculiar way
And if you look close enough to the sky, you might even say that the stars could spell their name's
Or even write their fate
But then he grabbed the largest constellation and spun it into one large star, one star that would shine bright enough to light up the world— this would lead the day
However, he did not stop there, for how could he?
Next he grabbed all of the broken or unfinished constellations he could fine, and he pardoned their imperfections just by piecing them together like a puzzle
And then what started as flaws and incompletion, had suddenly become the glowing orb that would lead the night

God was satisfied with the world so far, but he was surely not done
Day Five was the day he would create his first heartbeat, the first manifestation of life
For he knew that to give life to the land, he must create life in-between each shore
The oceans were vast and rich with color, but they were transformed entirely when God released all of the sea creatures that he could imagine
These were the creatures that would experience the world first, that would wash all of it's wonder into the land that he and she would soon inhabit

Next was Day Six, the day of all days
God was silent in concentration as he looked upon the land
The color green stretched as far as the eye could see, and everything was dripping in majesty
But it was not complete
The vegetation was tall and teeming with life, but he simply wanted more
So with a blink of his eye came a small creature with wings
And he went on from there, dropping heart beats from the Heavens
But this was only the prequel to his Plan, the beginning of the best
Now was time for the one's that would be like him
The man would walk with certainty, and he would smile with absolute sincerity
The woman would bleed love and she would dance like the rivers
So with all the magic he could muster, God cast them onto Earth from the bones of his own body
The bodies formed from bones and dirt, just separate collections of Heaven and Earth
They would soon open their eyes and see each other for the first time
And with each new life they lived they would love each other all the same
They did not ever get to meet their Creator, but they could feel the love he had given them
And when they fell into the other's embrace it mattered not that they couldn't find God, but just that they had each other.


Finally, the Seventh Day had arrived and God was almost done
Before he could finally rest, he decided that he would give his people one last gift
So while they were fast asleep, he descended from Heaven just to whisper in her ear
"You will find him across each lifetime, his kiss will taste the same. I give you this whole world on the condition you learn his name."
She heard these words clearly,
But when she woke up she could only remember thinking that the sleeping boy next to her was a vision of absolute loveliness​.


And finally, God could rest.
Happy Anniversary, I love you so much.
scatterbrained Jan 2017
Rest your fingers lightly between mine
I will hold your hand until it's warm again and I will kiss it all the while
It might be cloudy outside but I can still see the stars in your eyes
And that is all I need
scatterbrained Sep 2016
I can't explain why I need to be near you
But baby, I do
Because gravity is pulling your hand into mine like a soaring comet that has finally figured out where to land
This cosmic alignment is screaming our names, and we are leaving a path of stardust across the sky

Do you think our love was written in the stars? Because no matter how star crossed we may be, you've always found your way back to me.
Baby, you can call my heart 'Home'.
scatterbrained Aug 2016
Last year I went to a pumpkin farm, and I thought of you the whole time
I was wearing my favorite sweater, but I missed your warmth

Since then, you remind me of Fall, rich in color and allure

I am suddenly glad you weren't like every pumpkin in the patch.
Trick or treat, kiss me please.
scatterbrained Jul 2016
My love is my vice
I'm a wounded animal
Under your brute force
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