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1.4k · Jul 2016
rosary & a death hand
Sarah Ouhida Jul 2016
“the dark is empty; many of our heroes have been wrong”
it is so violently soothing,
this abyss of ours.
Let me give you my heart
beneath a red moon
and let us seal all of our sins with a poisonous kiss.
Hail Mary for all that you’ve done for me,
Hail Mary for all that we have endured,
our pain isn’t love
and the wine that we shared
is the blood of our sacrifice.
Rosary and a deathhand, I forgive you
Rosary and a deathhand, I love you
Rosary and a death hand, I hate you.
“Wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow,”
these words escape my lips, and I ask to myself
how did we end up like this, my darling,
on our knees, begging to a false and lying God
and the crimson in the snow,
paints a picture of our souls,
so scarred and alone; all I can do is beg
crucify me, my darling,
and leave me to die,
then breathe all life
into my cold lips;
oh it is so warm in this endless abyss,
and deep in my melancholy heart,
I do not wish to be brought back to life
so leave me here, baby
drowning in silver tears of empty recollections
and a rosary and a deathhand.
Kiss the thorns of the withering rose,
and show me your love; show me your gun,
together, we can be Sid and Nancy,
together forever
dead on the winter floor.
this was originally written about three years ago. I had refined it in certain areas, but overall its still intact.
1.1k · Jul 2016
worship
Sarah Ouhida Jul 2016
We build cathedrals in homage to our pain,
attend masses that speak of never ending suffering
and a promise of an unfulfilled promise land and paradise.
We kneel before an altar to a God who surely is absent
I believe
but my heart is ever so weak.
My muscles are weak,
my soul so cold
and we bathe ourselves in the blood of Christ
in hopes of erasing all that we have done.
Misery loves religion,
religion loves misery.
Angels unreachable leave us to demons of our own,
“heaven” so far out of view.
Can you see and hear the agony beneath our skin?
We are so much more than our sins.
My body is a tomb
and my heart is a vessel.
Take me as yours,
baptize me in the rivers of Heaven,
and bathe me in the rivers of Hell.
I am human
I am dead.
I worship to find who I am.
734 · Jul 2016
Saturn's Requiem
Sarah Ouhida Jul 2016
warning bells
weeping stars
mass desolation

these are the only words I know.

Born out of ash
baptized in dark
oceanic waters,
fate has left her mark.

I hear the whispers of doom
I taste the shadows on my lips
they won't leave me be-
but this is what the stars have for me.

I am to bring silence to a cold and often
unforgiving universe
steal the light
for the sake
of mercy

silence I am
silence is she
a girl
with deep lilac eyes

the one men
have always feared
as a faceless entity
that lingers
by their side
in the dark

but destruction
is not faceless
destruction is
not carved from bone;
she is flesh
and blood

she is a girl
with sad eyes
as gentle as
a meadow sky
but as deep
and as endless

as a starless night

she is me

I am the end


* Je suis la nuit et je suis le silence
another Sailor Moon piece (I am considering doing a series)

inspired by Sailor Saturn aka Hotaru Tomoe.
615 · Jul 2016
mourn
Sarah Ouhida Jul 2016
Watch the universe mourn
For heaven is in flames,
Forever bleeding, forevermore.
Witness the end of times,
Smile, rejoice, and dance in the flame.
614 · Aug 2016
rosary & silk
Sarah Ouhida Aug 2016
your skin smells like honey,

soft as the silk I rest my head on,

whispering a prayer to a false idol

and a God so far away.



your lips taste of a heaven that I will never know of,

your eyes speak of a fiery passion that is reminiscent to that of Hell,

of sin and secrets,

of pride, lust, and glory.



and as the morning dew drips from my lips onto yours,

I clutch the rosary harder,

my symphony that of an angel song

that went undiscovered many scores ago

here I breathe

and pray

ironic of course

but still I clutch the idol close

and keep God far away.
Sarah Ouhida Jul 2016
Venus stands on
her pantheon of stardust
and beating hearts
and looks down upon us
with a smirk on her lips,
ever so tender and cruel.
Venus looks down upon us all
and watches, from afar,
as we tear ourselves apart
for lovers we found
beneath her wretched curse;
she watches, and with indifference,
as many ****- themselves included- in her name
and yet there she stands
casting the infernal spell again.
Venus, hear me,
I will surrender to you no more
I will no longer submit to the wicked
goddess of hearts and *****;
I will stand as tall,
and I will look you in your soulless eyes
and I will take back what you have taken from me.
I will set my heart free.
also posted on my tumblrs.
569 · Jul 2016
walking through flame
Sarah Ouhida Jul 2016
prayers spill from my lips
in masochistic pleasure
as the flames fill my entire being,
reaching my heart.
the God you worship on a bloodied cross
means nothing to me;
for as I dance in the flames,
I realize that not even God himself
can touch me; I am my own savior.
I’ll cast myself from Heaven
and place myself in hell
for it was once said,
that there is more freedom
in damnation  than there is
in salvation; for in damnation,
freedom and chaos sit on the thrones,
and in salvation,
they are in chains,
and spat on
chaos is my lover,
and he kisses me once more
and with the flame in my heart
I will dance through hell
to my freedom.
inspired by Behemoth's "Ben Sahar" I highly recommend listening to it before, during or after reading this piece. I consider Behemoth one of my many influences. Also published on tumblr under ditavonmexo and thetruthenlightensme
526 · Sep 2016
of violence and passion
Sarah Ouhida Sep 2016
of violence and passion,
I beg you to let my heart be still
for in you both
are unholy inhibitions
that flow endlessly
and recklessly
when unleashed;
I cannot bear to have
any more blood
on my flesh
the wounds are still fresh

of violence and passion
I beg to let me sleep tonight
cease the revolution
that continues to
claws at my chest
deep from within

I beg I beg

of violence and passion
please let me breathe
for it is hard to live
when your lungs
are full of endless
destruction
and heartache
for it is hard to live
when every violent
word wants to flow from my mouth
and reveal in all the horror it will leave
in its wake
Sarah Ouhida Jul 2016
dear sadists,
I would use your names,
but I cannot- and will not-
give you the power.
I refuse, 
I refuse. 
dear sadists,
you both tormented me in ways 
that I have not even fully fathomed, 
even as I drown your ghosts 
from my naked body…
I cannot rid the wounds you both left on me.
dear sadists,
one of you showed me that not all Kings 
have neither gentle hearts nor good intentions;
the other, showed me that this abuse 
might be the only thing I will ever know. 
oh how wrong you both were.
dear sadists,
you violated me in the worsts ways 
***** me, mocked me, 
subdued me, 
scared me,
and it was easy back then
because I was a scared little girl;
now I am woman,
I am the wolf; 
I could, and will 
tear the flesh off your bones
and throw them into the flames
dear sadists,
and I will not share a ******* tear,
 no, I will smile, laugh 
and dance as the flame’s heat kisses my flesh;
I am liberated,
and your devils no longer sting me.
A poem dedicated to Sansa Stark
503 · Jan 2019
escape angel
Sarah Ouhida Jan 2019
in a holy room
she weeps
it is a Blue Sunday,
—don’t you hear her, Jim?

roses weeping
she dances
in the dark
it is pouring
and she is empty
— oh Axl, don’t you see her ?

she hopes she can touch heaven
she feels like gold
her blood is full of it !
dreamy,
oblivious
spiraling
she’s become numb
—Don’t you feel her, Roger?

she tries to find her way to heaven
a new life
but her wings are scarred
— can you get her there, Eric?
397 · Jan 2019
delirium
Sarah Ouhida Jan 2019
only the dark can see
my desperate fingers
find reprise
in between
my  lonely thighs
she cries with me
I slip into
delirium
then she kisses me
goodnight
ma chérie
first poem on this site in almost three years. I am determined to try and post here regularly again. But, in the case I slip off again, you can find this poem and all my other works on my poetry instagram: sarahimanpoetry.
389 · Jul 2016
Dear Sylvia
Sarah Ouhida Jul 2016
Dear Sylvia,
I know how it felt
To drown in your own skin,
To have your own heart throw a coup
Against the rationales of the mind.
I know what it is like
To feel nothing
And everything.
I know how it feels
To want to look into the mouth of hell
And to kiss it,
Inhale all its horrors
If that meant to quiet the chaos within.
Dear Sylvia
Dear Sylvia
I know your heart
Because it is mine.
Dear Sylvia
Dear Sylvia
I taste your tears
I kiss your wounds
They taste of familiarity
For they are my own.

— Dear Sylvia….I am sorry the world failed you
also published on my tumblrs: ditavonmexo and thetruthenlightensme
383 · Aug 2016
of pastels and blues
Sarah Ouhida Aug 2016
in soft blues and pastels I dream

of a sea that consumes me,

of waves that violently kiss my flesh.

in soft blues and pastels I bleed,


to a dream of a violently passionate love

that washes over me,

in one wave, in two, in twenty.  



in soft blues and pastels,

I taste the salt of the storm

it is bitter


and it sings of heartache and violence.



in soft blues and pastels,

I wish for the soft blue sky of dawn,

to embrace me



as I escape the wicked black nothingness
of the night

and of a love that never was.
the first part of a poetry collection I have started on Wattpad- it is entitled Neptune's Rhapsody: a collection of poetry (username is venusinourblood) and I figured I'd share here as I go along

I really want to complete a published (online obviously because I am a broke college student) poetry collection and I'd appreciate it for the support and shares!

I know this is kinda spammy, but I would love an audience; writing for no one has grown weary.
382 · Jul 2016
the symphony of tragedy
Sarah Ouhida Jul 2016
music fills the air as blood flows like wine;
and from its lips tells the tragedy
of the mothers and children
who were mercilessly slain
by the old man that controlled the riverbed.
broken promises and a family carved from vengeance
thus sealed the fate of the family who came from
the breath of the wolf’s mighty song.
They fought so valiantly
they were so close to victory that they felt her
breath on their lips.
Such is the tragedy of hubris and wretched passions
As the music reaches its crescendo,
it fills the silence of the screams
that were strangled in the throats
of the mother to be,
the child to be,
the son and father they called king
and the mother
whose very eyes spoke of untold horrors
and heartaches

this is the symphony of tragedy;
it does not mean to move,
only means to leave the audience
to shake and tremble,
to weep and to grieve;
in the symphony of tragedy,
no sins are absolved,
no justice is served,
only tragedy reigns at the throne.
heavily inspired by the infamous Red Wedding; made me feel so many things at once. I am still not over it.
373 · Jul 2016
red piano
Sarah Ouhida Jul 2016
there she sits on her ****** throne
playing her red piano
until she can no longer see Earth
until she is dancing with angels in heaven
and kissing devils deep in the heart of hell;
she plays and plays
until she can feel no more,
until her legs are shaking
until her lips are quivering.

she plays until she has silently screamed in ecstasy
and she sees in yellows,
and in between notes
she looks at him with red tinted hatred;
a passion,
a masochistic need
her red piano is seared into his memory

for how can he forget the blood that spilled from the keys
and the venom from her mouth,
for in that moment
he knew the severity of his sins.
365 · Aug 2016
the violinist's requiem
Sarah Ouhida Aug 2016
notes wrap around my heart
like a noose
suffocating
but sweet.

the strings cut beneath flesh
the vibrato pouring
into my veins.

melancholy surrounds me still
a phantom ravaging my skin.
But I can only submit,
there is no resistance
the melody has seduced me
*
in flesh
it has craved its name
this monster
that spills from
the beautiful depths
of music's darkest abyss .

*
in this hell
there is only one sound
-- that of a violin
and the ghosts of war.
inspired by the Carach Angren masterpiece "The Funerary Dirge of a Violinist"
Sarah Ouhida Jul 2016
I. Serenity

sweet moonlight through the windows
on a clear night;
this is you,
kissing your children sweetly,
and I relish in it
a soft and silky caress full of nostalgia
please don't ever leave
even when the sun comes to kiss the sky,
don't ever leave.

II. Mars

Whenever you walk
you scorch the earth beneath you,
and ignite the sleeping stars above;
even hell has never felt
more alive until you
waltzed through its halls.

III. Saturn

your lips are trembling
and your heart is an ocean of
nightmares and uncertainties
but believe me, little one,
you will be the leader of a silent revolution;
one that kisses and tears at agony's flesh,
and send him straight back to
the infernal in which he came;
you will save a fragile universe,
through a soft and silent proclamation..

laisser être. let be.

IV. Mercury

you dream in soft blues and pinks,
of waves softly touching your toes.

you dream in pigments,
you dream of softness,
you are a tender heart

but let no one be mistaken,
a tender heart is not
one that can stay that way
when touched violently

tender heart you are
but an ocean always has the potential
to destroy
when given the chance.

V. Small Moon

has anyone told you that you are special?
has anyone truly looked into your bruised little heart
and whispered the words you needed to hear,
those affirmations and validations? to tell you
that you are capable of anything
no matter how small.

If not,

here they are...

VI. Pluto

solitude was once a sacrifice
eventually becoming comfortable
but now
looking into endless oceans of pinks, blues, greens, reds
and purples,

you begin to wonder how you even
managed to live with solitude
for a millennia.

VII. Neptune

deep ocean foam lays behind your eyes,
and though you watch from afar
you feel the phantom of her love
clawing at your skin,
but you don't even mind,
in fact, you smile
and invite her in.
Sailor Moon characters characterized through poetry.
325 · Jul 2016
glory
Sarah Ouhida Jul 2016
Lord is gone, lord is gone;
The son is slain, the son is slain.
Angels weep and fall
And we take the crown.

This universe is ours,
Inhale, conquer and live.
Watch the righteous crawl
Serpentine towards us
Begging for mercy
Begging for forgiveness
We just laugh and then kiss
The blood of their God off our lips.

We have extinguished their light
And replaced it with the eternal flame,
The flame of liberation,
The flame of a new day
Glory be to the morning star,
The one who dared to disobey
another behemoth inspired piece.
319 · Jul 2016
to time and passion
Sarah Ouhida Jul 2016
to time,
you are older
than all of us
and so beautiful
yet so far,
so solitary;
how does it feel
to watch as the very
essence of your being
slip into the pink sky.

though your heart is lonely,
sweet lady of time,
you are not alone
for as time rushes from your lips,
the entire universe follows.

to passion,
you were built from fire
built to breath
into the hearts
of passionate lovers
everywhere
but I see you weep
over the the destruction
in the eyes
of lovers unrequited
overcome and overwhelmed by the flame
and as a result
they are burned
they are scarred.
but passion,
just know that
you are not to blame
the fire you yield
can be dangerous
to those who
are afraid and
reckless.

you are the perfect flame

and to time and passion both,
you are a sweet collection
of universal elements,
of stardust and ash,
of flesh and bone.
I have been reliving my love for Sailor Moon and decided to write this in tribute to my two all time favorite guardians: Pluto and Mars.
259 · Aug 2016
they
Sarah Ouhida Aug 2016
they creep up in a silent violence
that when they strike
I am defenseless

they rush over me wave
after wave until I am
waiting for a moment
of peace so I can
finally breathe

they ignite demons in me
that I have for so long
tried to keep in a hidden
chamber of my heart

they give me a euphoric high
that makes it feel as if
I had just been given
the breath of life
and now I dance with stars

they are violent ghosts
they are a vast and threatening ocean
they are a pleasure that one only finds
deep within their souls

they are everything - and they are also nothing
ghosts and flesh and blood and bones

they are whispers
and they are screams

but they are a part of me
241 · Jul 2016
and so I bleed
Sarah Ouhida Jul 2016
There is a phantom in between my legs,
It whimpers a song of agony,
A song of heartache.
There is a phantom in my chest,
It is begging to be free,
It claws and tears
It desperately wants to devour me
And so I bleed,
And so I bleed
235 · Jul 2016
venus (unrequited)
Sarah Ouhida Jul 2016
Oh sweet Venus
in all of your glory,
can you take the time to answer
this prayer of mine?
I'm crawling on my knees to you,
suffering Hell's wrath through and through.

All I ask is why,
why must I cry these crimson tears of mine
can't you heal this void inside?
can't you sketch the wounds on my heart,
showcase them to the world
so they can rip them apart?

the angels of love,
the demons of lust,
oh they leave me to bleed,
hollow eyes beneath
the cemetery light
take a look inside
there's nothing left of me..

all these things I'll do for you,
walking to Hell and back,
in order to gain that kiss,
to swim in the ocean of your eyes.

if we were to follow our hearts,
then this love surely won't die,
but yet...
here I lay on my knees
pleading to Venus to kiss my tears away
(make the pain fade)
hold me now
for love and death embrace tonight.
another oldie that I found in a journal; edited it in several areas.

— The End —