You tried to stop,
But it didn't work.
You tried to be happy,
But you only got hurt...

Another night,
Another curse,
Some time to cry,
It just makes things worse.

Another mark,
Another scar
Your skin cry's more,
You've had this feeling before.

You already know,
You are unwanted,
You are worthless,
And you are unloved..

The best feeling you have,
Is the blade that you hold.

In your bedroom,
You shut the door,
Only to break down again,
Crying all night,
No one knows what you do...

The next day,
You hope for the better,
It starts again,
Another story,
Another scar.....

Just one cut,
During the night,
Crimson red that feels so right.

Drops that last all through the night,
Your only friend,
A shiny knife.

The ones you love,
Only judge,
so no one knows,
The horrible curse.

You start out young,
Then move on,  
The marks are deep,
The scars are long.

The ones that stop you,
Care the most,
The ones that don't,
Just let you go...

You try to stop,
But thoughts come back,
You mark again,
It's not your last.

You are the smart,
You hide the marks,
Beneath layers of cloth,
In hidden spots.

The very next day,
the thoughts come back,
It starts all again,
the marks are back,
that forever last

Only some,
Who truly know,
The life of having a horrible curse....

It's easy to forgive,
one little lie,  
But when it breaks your heart,
Multiple times,
It makes you feel,
Like you just want to die.

Your chest gets tight,
You cannot brethe,  
You try to speak,  
But the words won't leave.

Your heart now aches,
For the ones you love,  
But you know now,
That they are all gone.

Your trust is gone,  
Forever again,
Deaths strong grip,
Is not a merciful plan.

You lost so much,  
So many family and friends,
All in heaven with god,
Your life gets harder again.

You want to talk,
to the people you love,
But your family and friends,
Too quickly judge.

I just keep it to myself,
Cry alone in the dark,
There's no getting back,
All that I lost.....

Yesterday I was thinking about you
& it terrified me that I could no longer
Remember what you looked like,
Or who you even were
Before cancer started to erode
All of your loveliness
I knew you didn’t want me to
Remember how you looked without hair
Or how your body became so weak
So I searched the depths of my mind
To find old memories of you
I can remember you coming to
My birthday parties and music recitals
But honestly I couldn’t remember
What you looked like then
And as my heart was breaking
That I had lost all of you
A flicker of a moment flashed in my mind
There you were sitting
At your dining room table
With your auburn curls and
Right before you took a sip
Of your diet Pepsi
You smiled
Then, along with the fleeting moment
You were gone
I wanted to cry
I had remembered you,
The real you

do I cry randomly? yes
do I get ******?yes
do I cry myself to sleep? yes
do I miss every second you're gone? yes
do I feel lonely at times? Yes
do I need you?yes
do I need a daily hug from you? yes
do I love you?yes
do I have feelings? yes
do I fight with you?yes
am I emotional? yes
would I risk my life and everything I live for, for you? hell yes