Sheets of ice are melting
and so is the ice in my glass
I’m drinking it fast so I can spit
words about you, like why are we
doing this dance in sneak shoes?
Why don’t we throw them off and
everyone else and come together
before the caps melt and get
lost in the weather; let’s converge
my high pressure and your low
and blow everything away when
our winds merge and spiral out
of controlling hands—there will be
little sands left to lay, but our plans
will involve nothing and no one
day after day until we drown in
the global flood pooling closer;
if you’re not ready to stay
I guess we’ll die alone
like we’re all meant to anyway

I know you
I observe you
I see you glance,
ignore, set down
your phone
your instrument of connection
I see you evade certain conversations
I know your game,
your technique
I know you
I don’t know
however,
why you tell me things
of great magnitude
if you know me
and how they resonate
and stick with me
I’ve confided in you
my most vulnerable moments
you had a spotlight shining
on my every detail
and used it against me
my skin made of braille
I know you’re not
conniving, just thriving
for the human experience
but I ask, will you think
with your heart
and save room for
a fresh start
rather ******* ****
romances for the last bit
of bitterness
when it’s nothing sweet to
me or you?

I'm sick for your voice.
Hearing my name from your lips
is the only cure.

Exhausted
from feeling
   reeling
peeling away my exoskeleton
of mossy vehemence

Disgusted
from festering
pestering bacteria
leeching my energy
depleting my senses

Desensitized
towards romance
no chance
for me
Sinking
in a swamp
instead of grasping
for relief

Ashamed
for allowing
disavowing
natural instincts
Crying
   dying
internally invaded
by poisonous neglect
  Suicide
by choking on
your spoken words
I kept

Drinking alone can make for good conversation
New things are learned, said or inferred
Who am I speaking to
     and am I heard?
Nature’s beauties surround me
and I’ve killed with neglect
    Unintentional
but always aware
   My lips tingle and my tongue
writhes, my body breathes in
the expulsion of shelved speakers
and my membranes arouse
because I’m redirected to you
   Always to you;
I’d like to hear your voice
but I predict you won’t answer if I call
Following through will result in disappointment
I expected, so why bother?
Predetermination — a convoluted structure
that remains the source of my reflection
   And misdirection
There was a rush of
thoughts like rapid waters
straight to my skull, cracking
  my will to break like a dam
bursting forth with so much emotion
you will drown in it, even if
you hold your breath to infinity

I don't feel like myself today
Maybe I stayed too long in bed
I feel vacant, my soul trailing
lazily over my head
I don't want to Be
               Today
I don't want to see
               Today
Characteristics are gone
               Today
    Only an entity
               Today
I am my own enemy
               Today
I could be my own best friend
but why even pretend
Everything around fills me with dread
I wish I could have stayed in bed
Connections are dead
               Today
Wish that were me instead
               Today
Tomorrow is a short blink away
   I'll open my eyes after
                Today