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most cannot live with their history
a straight night into the void
here, i digress
i want the truth to plummet into my chest
consistency is the greatest romance
i am i am i am
no life lesson
 Nov 2014 Riley Defluo
Neath
Truth
 Nov 2014 Riley Defluo
Neath
Truth will forever be like grains of sand

seeping through the cracks of your hand
Sometimes the answers are always meant to be out of your reach...
If I would have cried
It wouldn’t have shown

I sat on the floor
of the bathroom
trying to warm myself
from the cold

Believing as always
that when you are warm
you feel less alone

I comforted myself
with the fact that
noodles and chocolate
tastes better on the way up
than down

As I thought about that
long look you gave me
when you took your hammer to my heart

If I would have cried
It wouldn’t have shown

I only cry on the inside
There is no use getting your face wet if you are all alone
i don't know why i am posting this
 Nov 2014 Riley Defluo
AndIFell
What was it that they said was so important?

They said
     That I had a choice
     That it was all up to me
     That, to them,
     I was the beauty queen
     and they were my kings

They told me
     To use my voice
     To never be deceived
     To never listen
          To all those people who treated me less than I deserved
          To all those people who thought they were better than I was
          To all my inner demons
          To those who gave me nothing but the worst

They told me
     Honey, I know you're good
     To me, you're *better that the best

     Everything you are speaks perfect
     You speak innocence
     Something so surprisingly rare
     An aberrant everyone wants to consume
          as food for their tainted souls
    
     And I will be there
     When you come home beaten
     By whatever monster you've faced
  
     I will be there

But then they said
    You've got to pick this and that
     exactly those two and in exactly that order
     No questions, you just have to
     Some decisions in your life
     are just not made by you
     And, Honey, you can't ***** this up
     This is important and it's going to help you
    In the near future

Naturally, I got confused
Who can actually be trusted with words?
Which part of this generation
Do we get
Where we can actually
get to speak for ourselves?
When will I ever get to choose what makes me happy?
Too many times
I fall in love
With things
I cannot
Call
Mine
 Nov 2014 Riley Defluo
r
your boot was turned the wrong way
on the post out by the highway
- sharp toe pointing to the south
away from where you've been

you're no stranger to the rangers
living dangerously on the edge
- sidewinders in the sagebrush
whispering to the wind

the anasazi built this home
stacking stone one by one
- far above the canyon
of petroglyphs and wrens

i knew i'd find you by the fire
talking to the ghosts of smoke and drum
- in the ruins above the dunes
reminiscing with your friends

- reminiscing, reminiscing
on the blue mesa.

r ~ 11/6/14
 Nov 2014 Riley Defluo
M Eastman
I should be sadder
Bawling great big tears
To drown my cheeks
But I'm just sitting here
Am I a robot
I feel blunt
Muted
Lethargic
What's wrong with me
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