I didn't change I just woke up
Zoomed in my soul for a close up

So many years it was all wrong
Inside my own body I didn't belong

I succumbed to the fear filled in the air
I acted right and never missed a prayer
I played it safe with great effort and care
But all I could feel was constant despair
Playing it safe was getting me no where

Then one moment that was just like any other
Beauty I never thought I'd discover
I realized my soul was my greatest lover

It's hard to explain how this inner peace feels  
or the type of sensations that it starts to reveal

But you find that the common desires are fake
Distractions that keep you from being awake
We are so scared we might make a mistake
We don't even realize our journeys at stake

If we can just master how to let go
Never stop learning. continue to grow
Let go of everything you may think you know
Rid of the excess and you start to glow

as the night quells, soft and gentle,
the incessant humming in my head subdues to 
a murmured hush, and the white noise is but 
a grey    fog  veiling hazy promises and barbed fears.

the darkness seems to hold its breath as you say: look 
       at the meteors,        they fall so heavily tonight!
it is because we all placed our wishes on them.

yet i only see your tired orbit
set in the horizon of your stony shoulders;
like shooting stars burdened by wishful thinking,
you bow under a burden of universes:
          phantom hopes and frayed strands,
          as if you were afire from within,   the moon
      alight in lining of your skin.

tonight the waning moon’s gentle glow flickers
as if in stop-motion, like confused blinking.
in a lingering afterthought I find —

in solitude time is all-consuming,
and i am in an hourglass; time, a thief,
creating a vortex beneath my feet
and in solitude i find myself wishing desperately again.


the darkness is so softly suffocating as you say: look
at the meteors, they fall so heavily tonight!

The oleander on the wall
Grows crimson in the dawning light,
Though the grey shadows of the night
Lie yet on Florence like a pall.

The dew is bright upon the hill,
And bright the blossoms overhead,
But ah! the grasshoppers have fled,
The little Attic song is still.

Only the leaves are gently stirred
By the soft breathing of the gale,
And in the almond-scented vale
The lonely nightingale is heard.

The day will make thee silent soon,
O nightingale sing on for love!
While yet upon the shadowy grove
Splinter the arrows of the moon.

Before across the silent lawn
In sea-green vest the morning steals,
And to love’s frightened eyes reveals
The long white fingers of the dawn

Fast climbing up the eastern sky
To grasp and slay the shuddering night,
All careless of my heart’s delight,
Or if the nightingale should die.

Dancing stars so blue
The comets reflected hue
Gazing at the me inside each star

Afar, in fact in mars
Sits a rusty smile
Awhile, I stared
Truly scared
Of why it even dared to laugh
Does it care?
Can it see that rust sits there?

No, its blind
It cannot find
A reason not to be beautiful

But I wondered still
Why the crescent doesn't spill
It tilts and tilts
Not dripping any dreams
Holding on to the beams
Reflected by the ocean
Deep it may seem

Yet I drip and drip
Dreams falling to the well
So much water I could sail for miles
Sail on dreams perhaps
Until my crescent snaps
Until my hope collapses

But I still wonder
Why I care?
Do I consider my life fair?
Is the reflection hard to bare?

Their are ripples in the mirror
And all I can do is wade

In the birdhouse I built,
The youngling flies off for the first time
Looking back

With hope for you
       I whispered your name

I wanted nothing more than the world for you,
So much,
I invented new ones.

     We made moons at the cliff
In a word of spoken poetry.

   The rivers split
And we became found.
  
     I caught all the petals in the wind
To recreate a flower.

      I taught you how to fly,
And you became a bird.

    I'm just an old fool
           Who pieces together
                  The broken heart.

The trouble isn’t ahead of me,
It’s staring me in the face.
I’m looking blankly past it,
Pretending it doesn’t exist.

It’s come to tempt me over
To the edge of the abyss.
Pills stuck in my throat last time.
I know I’ll not be missed.

I’ve hurt them too many times,
I can’t look in their eyes.
Sadness looks back at me,
And hurt and surprise.

There will be no cry for help,
No suicide note, no guilt.
Just a clumsy pile of clothes and,
The useless piles of tears.

Don’t mourn for me just learn from it.
Go and spill your guts.
Don’t be the coward I turned out to be.
Stand up, be brave, no buts.
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