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He came to my house
Wearing his dark jacket and
Cold fingers
With no prior notice.

The doorbell echoed at
Nine oh six
And my mom said she'd get it.

I was watching Netflix
And shoveling semi-melty
Ice cream into my mouth.

He said hi to my mom
And he rushed up the stairs
Into my laundry-flooded bedroom

He wrapped his arms around me
So tight that I wasn't keen to let go.

He smelled like bitter outside
And broken trees
And choking regret.

I smelled like
Fake roses
And ***** pajamas
That were freshly cried into.

My shirt sleeves were wet.

When he kissed me,
I tasted like
The aftermath of
Black cherries
And sad music.

He tasted like love.
Needless to say, we're on HIATUS until further notice.
I shattered today.

Shards of love
And splashes of blood
Scattered to the tips of
My fingers
And
Toes.

We were in Starbucks
And I drank coffee
And you didn't
And seven months of
Surprise kisses
And
24/7 text messages
Ended abruptly
Like a cliff.

The funny thing is,
I broke up with you.
It was still me
Who spent the last hour
Listening to our song
And bleeding emotion
Riding on tears
Into the sock monkey
That I named after you
Because I loved the middle name
Ryan.

You were over it,
And I was not.
You showed up
With the bite of coffee
Crawling up your nose
Expecting to
Break
Up
With
Me.

I'm not exactly happy that we think alike anymore.
Seven months and two days. We had a good run. I still love you, Wade Ryan. I still do.
 Feb 2014 Raegan Ballard
D
~          ~             ~

I'm watching the couple across the room
She's Asian and he's Indian
But race doesn't matter,
They're happy, everyone can see it

~          ~             ~

They sit together, side by side
Clicking on keyboards, the monitor alight,
They talk in hushed tones, lips pressed to ears
They're in love with each other, it's so very clear

She leans on his shoulder, breathes in his scent
He turns to face her, plants a kiss on her head
She sighs in contentment, this is their third year
He pulls her in closer to whisper in her ear

~          ~             ~

As I'm watching the couple
Who sits across the room
I find my mind wandering
To thoughts of you

~          ~             ~

When we sit together, side by side
Is there someone who watches, eyes alight
With our love, it sings loud, reaching the ears
Of those who watch us, making it clear

When I lean into your scent, I start to swoon
When you kiss me [anywhere], my heart beats a thousand x two
And I'll sigh because I'm happy, almost half a year
*I'll always love you darling, I just hope you can hear
You kissed me.
And you want to kiss me again.




What?
 Jan 2014 Raegan Ballard
Morgan
so close
I can almost
taste it at
the bottom
of my
ceramic
teacup,
on any given
Thursday
afternoon

yet so far
away
I can see
the details
in the moon
with less strain
on certain
Sunday
evenings
I can't fall asleep
On those nights
When I
Don't even know
If you'll be here
When I wake up.

Those nights
Are
All nights.
I glare at it
During last period,
Jumping too high
But not high enough
To reach the swinging rope.

I'm in history,
And some glazed-over teacher
Is pointing at the
Chalkboard which has
Tiny scratches that look like words
Scribbled all over.

But I don't look at my notes,
Because my neck is craning
Too far back
To look at the rope
That is
My two and a half hours of freedom.

A single note is released into the halls
And the students chace it
And I leap into the air
Because the rope
Is reachable
And I grab it.

I begin to climb.

I sit by you on the
Dirt-dusted tile floor
Outside the gym
And we work on algebra
Or english if it's a good day.

And don't get me wrong,
I hate the familiar stench of homework
As much as
The next
Hunchbacked highschooler.
The rope stings my hands
While I climb.
You numb the burn.

But I have practice
And the rope is easy to climb
And I reach the top
In two and a half hours
And you get into
The yellow sardine can
That goes to your neighborhood.

And all of my muscles ache when you go.
Two and a half hours between school and crew practice.
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