I've got a well I need to draw from, but there's nothing in there

I am told God will fill the well

I am told my government will

I am told hobbies will fill it

"Fill the well with your passions

and draw from those

Be mindful, prepare for the coming rain

Do good deeds"

I am told the well is too much to understand

My perspective on it too limited

I am told all of these things

and none of it changes the fact that there is nothing in that **** well.

I've always been a small child
who likes to draw and play with toys
and you, you've got glitter in your veins
and I've always been attracted to shiny things.
So you caught my attention from the very beginning
and I, I who am easily distracted, became hooked
on the colors in your soul.

Everything about us was raw.
Raw longing.
Raw anger.
Raw love.
Our souls were exposed.
At least mine was.
Now my heart is raw too.
Who knew pain ran this deep in your veins.
But I do know that we were real.
Because it isn't really love
If it can't break your heart.

She sat,
Fingers clenched.
Thinking hard.

She waited,
With limitless patience,
For the jealousy to pass.

She pondered,
About the breathtaking insecurity,
Her chest was tolerating.

She numbed,
Because the feelings that coursed through,
Were hard to ignore.

She whispered to herself-"I fail."

2 days
It took two days for me to fall
And far I have fallen

See I've always been careful
Watching every step to make sure I don't walk along a crack
I'm superstitious in that way I guess
I've always been one
To keep my hands out in front of me
So that when I do trip
I can catch myself
Hands over my heart
I do not do trust falls
Do not let myself lean backwards into just any pair of arms
Do not have enough faith in humanity to do so
But every now and then
I let my guard down
Do not mean to
But I do
Security is hard enough as is
Keeping unwanted palms off my body is a kind of routine I have come to know well
Putting up a barbed wire fence along the circumference of my skin
I have been touched too many times without consent
Without invitation
I have learned to flinch at a man's touch
I have been conditioned to stand stiff
To stay still
So
When I finally let myself go
Let my arms fall to my sides
Close my eyes and descend,
I hope for the best
Know that I do not do this often
Do not do this lightly
Do not melt with ease
My bones are not made of wax
My limbs are not candle sticks
Instead
They are iron
Titanium built
So when I get weak in the knees
Know that it is a rarity
That vulnerability is not a strength of mine
Baring my soul
Is the most naked I could possibly be
The thing about me
Is that
I have an addictive personality
But regardless
Of how much I smoke
I will always find people more addicting than nicotine
I do not usually think things over
I am more impulsive than anything else
But know that you are an impulse
That I would be happy to wake up next to
Know that you are not one of my spur of the moment tattoos
I will not regret you in the morning
See
I am trying
So hard
To let my parachute open up
Trying so hard
To float down gently,
Not worry about whether or not someone will catch me
But I am still holding on
Just in case
I hit the ground

I am willing to take risk.