It’s back again—
the noise that never dies.
For a love I can never get.

He doesn’t look like you,
but he is you.

All of you look like him.
Don’t think you’re special—
it’s my pain
that loves you better.

I am back on the carousel,
spinning
on a horse that is on its last breath.

My girls watch me wail.
My brother turns away.

Look—
it’s you again,
standing at the horizon,
watching me bleed
into the sun.

maybe if i write about you enough
spread proofs of our love on the internet

let strangers know how we used to dance
the gods from the satellite will bring us closer

maybe they are playing games with us
shooting our waves south to north

the earth is round
we will find each other again

it’ll be a Thursday
and the moon will be shining

when we do meet,
you’ll look like me — maybe older.
your firm hand will hold mine
and i disappear in you.

I don’t owe my beauty to men.
The perky *******, the toned thighs—
they weren’t sculpted for your gaze.
Manicured nails, clean hair—
none of this is yours.

I don’t owe my beauty to me, either.
Look at me.
Ruin,
in the shape of a woman
you once claimed to love.

It doesn’t feel like my skin anymore.
It reeks—
of broken dreams
and promises whispered too close.

Look at me
ruin what you claimed was beautiful.
I hide behind my brother’s shirts.
I disappear into crowds,
like a shadow pretending to be whole.

My body stings
where your hands have been.
Every inch now
wrapped in a blanket of thorns.

Now—
do you love me the same?
Can you find the rose
that is dying
to bloom?

I understand it’s hard—
to have a shadow
that doesn’t disappear at night.

I haunt your mind
with worry,
with desperation.

It’s a burden now—
one you’re too frail to carry.

Your feet tremble as you walk.
Your mind escapes into chaos.
But your words shine—
they pierce through
my tough skin,
and leave me bleeding.

My eyes are heavy now.
I will shut them tight.

It’s okay.

We’ll meet again.
There’s a special place
where shadows
don’t form.

I cannot sit with this disgust
while you thrive in life.
I make the wrong choices—
you stay right.

What a sad game
we play.
I always enter the fight
with my eyes tied.

The sores on my body
leak with stolen glances,
moonlight nights.

My bones turn outward.
I crawl to God—
forgive me once.
I beg
for the hundredth time.

Agony owns my heart.
It’s stuck in the yesterdays
where you and I
rot.