I wrote those words scribbled in ink,
in hopes that its message did sink.
I wrote of how much I loved you,
And to this day it remains ever so true.
I wrote of how you meant the world to me,
From the blue sky to the deepest parts of the sea,
I wrote those words knowing that you were my world,
Of all the harm and pain, time and distance hurled,
We still found one another.

The first sip of a coffee on a frosty morning
Toss and turn from your yearning
Lost upon years of searching in the Arctic
Following the trail up north

The snow has stopped, temperatures dropped.
Despair not and regret not
that cigarette had to stay warm
All you have are smoke kisses in the air
Or is that just your cold breath?
The only sign of life seen in days

Mind you, the sparrow is like no other
Flying against the wind
Three hundred miles away
And we're having a similar day
Me tethered to this place
While your pace slows with tired feathers

I'm not holding out for something better
These boots still have another year or two to go
Wear and tear occur slowly when one is rooted to the ground
My roots frozen limbs searching still.

And the night falls heavy now
and I am well acquainted with it
For in the winter's darkest hours
Is where my searching will end.

For what an electric winter -
those sparks like whispers in your ears
To pull archaic splinters from your side -
And let them blow in the Arctic winds -
And up to celestial lights -
burning bright bitter blues -
and emeralds and yellows -
and higher still -
breaking Heaven's inner dome -
- higher -  
Ethereal particles of you displayed across the night sky -

And you are a singular multitude
A particular spectacular
Of particles participating
In the dance.

I found no Polaris during the Polar Night.
But a sighting of the famed lights.

Eyes opened and I can see clearly what you are.

I still look for you, you know
I wait and hope that you will be there
once a month, maybe, I will see you
you sit next to me and we launch into conversations
making up for lost time, perhaps?
All too brief and then you are gone
I journey the rest of the way in a heavy silence
thinking about what I should've said
last I saw you I wanted to rest my head
on your shoulder, like I used to
but I didn't
because that would hurt, in the end

It is as they say; hope breeds eternal misery

Laughter (irrational)
as my matter's pulled in directions
Yet to be defined
She envelopes
Me like the rings of Saturn
Spinning remotely
On the
Axis of her fingertip
Partially  eclipsed
I slip from the pupil-black
Treasuring
Shallow breaths as
I arc through sterile atmospheres
Momentarily
I choke on trails of smoke
Turbulence of my laughter
Scattering the silence
Crystallized I cling to passive tense
Rent madly by her gravity
Smiling

Somewhere

I know you're out there
I can hear your voice in the wind that rustles the leafless trees
Like them I'm waiting for Spring
For warmth
Nourishment
To grow again inside love

I'm searching for you
I chase my shadow in the fading colours of the setting sun
Look for your message amongst the stars
Face upturned
Bathed in moonlight
In awe of the universe

I've dreamt of you
Your image obscured by a cloak of imagination
Invading my unconscious with promised ardour
Passionate embraces
Fanciful encounters
That leave me wanting

I'm waiting for you
Pondering your existence, conversing with passers by
Like Vladimir and Estragon under their tree
Listening
Writing the words
To bring you to me

I've yet to find you
But
I know you're out there

Somewhere....*

(C) Pixievic 2016