The pain I've seen you suffer
The moments I protected you like a cover
All the things I've done for you
All the pain you've put me through
Was everything I did a joke
You're the reason my heart's felt so broke
Now that I realized it, it was time for me to face it
You're below every ***** that's basic
The memories we had turn to washed up art
And to think you've been faking it all from the start
If I had known that you were only bluffing
I would've known that it was all for nothing

I'm frustrated, it's a roller coaster of emotion
There's no notion for all this commotion
In the ocean of my heart, mind, body and soul
It's an explosion
But this feeling has me confused mentally misused
Lost like when Lenell Geter was wrongly accused
For a crime he didn't commit but the power was abused
But there shouldn't have been an excuse
Because I'm annoyed by the one I employed
To give me attention but not to mention how they destroyed
Me from the inside to see the outcome I wanted to avoid
So what happened to the once amazing beginning I enjoyed
It was all fun and games til they dethroned me
Saw my submissive side now like Mariah Carey I'm sad and lonely
Am I a homie, a crony or more than a friend getting played like Sony
But you know I'm only
20 soon to be 21
In a couple of months but I'm not having fun
I feel like the barrels loaded and your hands wrapped around the gun
Am I the predator or the prey, could you be the culprit or am I really just all in one?

You know what I've got a message for the future to me, myself and wife
I know I....we've been through some ups and downs, hit so many lows but always got high
I'm your past but still gifted because I'm my present waiting to see our surprise nonetheless pleasant
But I trust your judgment because I know you chose right, fought the fight and got a full moon and not the crescent
This message is to show you how far you've come and what you've done
I'm the unfinished product and you're the aftermath of operation put down the gun
I'm proud of you, you finally found a beauty who could handle your inner beast
Going above and beyond like Luffy overseas you found your very own One Piece
But hold on for a bit, its about to time I spoke to my future wife so I can show her that all this ink wasn't just for nothing
I'm gonna show you that this holiday season wasn't only for cuffing
I'm praying for the day I get to meet you even though I can feel your energy nearby
I think it'll happen all of a sudden, when cupid drops down for a visit and surprises me with a drive by
So I might as well shoot my shot and hope you're the one this message goes to
Because I'm trying to become a petty thief like Aladdin and Apu
Only difference is my crime will make history, it'd make me an international Christmas thief
I'll steal you and your heart and afterwards I'll steal a kiss under the mistletoe right before I run off with you and the reef
I don't question my future self since I know he has the greatest and wouldn't settle for anything inferior
I could just picture it out now me and you buying our own house and decorating the interior
You'd be the only one clearing my conscience and cleaning my psyche
We'd be the shoulder for the other when things get rough and have deep discussions on a nightly
Cry with you through every struggle, tell you its going to be alright and hold you tightly
Have our disagreements and get into arguments where things get a little too feisty
But ****, I wish I could put myself in my future's footsteps now and experience all that first hand
I still think of it all as my personal fantasy, a miraculous kingdom and a luxurious life all for one man
Luckily you'll be living that dream while I'm working on making that my soon to be reality
So if I scare her a bit its because you know I'm unorthodox and she'll have to get to used to this abnormal activity
My world will collide with yours my soon to be future wife
Its like we're exchanging vows right now, holding hands in marriage and I'm making you mine for life
Now to finish off this message to my future self I hope you understand that you're holding a diamond in the rough
I don't want to say you should be spoiling her but one thing you should remember is enough could never be enough
I'm still here hoping you remember the words we always said hoping their fresh in your memory like a tic tac
Because you can never forget 'every minor setback is just another reason for a major comeback'
I can already imagine it, tearing off the wrapping paper and loosening the ribbon, getting what was on my wish list
I hope to see you inside because all I want is you for my gift this Christmas

Paint splatters, but it's all about what you see
For the beholder captures the beauty
Whether it be an inkblot, abstract, modern or more
Don't brush it off but find new ways to adore
The passion you live for, because we shouldn't let dreams go to waste
Every style should be accepted no matter how eccentric the taste
If you want to be like Mozart then go out and make more art
It can be on a canvas, musical or theatrical you just have to get the part
Even if you feel broken stay woke my dear sister or brother
Because even a broken crayon was still meant to colour
We were meant to see sunny days not let grey clouds hover
Over our skies, but regardless we're still colourful
If your art is photography then create some vivid images
Picture just what you want but always remember where your interest is
If your art is musical then move your voice to the melody
Rap or sing the two still sound better in harmony
Whatever your art is there's no reason to discriminate
We all just have to come together and appreciate
Talent and give credit where credit is due
Talent doesn't fade so don't let doubt control you

Once a lifeless soul thinking death was the only way out
Each problem hit me harder and harder like the rear end of a trout
A little boy searching for the sharp end to impale his torn up heart
Because his pain kept piling up like the items in a shopping cart
He was so feeble but yet he kept trying to search for that last bit of determination
As he went nights watching his mother suffering from the pain and agony of constipation
He had a father who's main goal seemed like making him feel aggravated
Always telling him he's stupid beating him up over grades and when he succeeded he still didn't make him feel motivated
He grew up with too much food to eat off his plate
Always wishing he could meet his grandfathers who could've impacted his life although he knew it was too late
He was slandered by the words they threw at him like the lunch in a cafeteria food fight
But through it all he knew that one day he'd be destined to open up his wings and take flight
He knew that he'd be destined for great things as he was told by the Lord
He knew one day that he could share his story and help everyone sing their songs in one accord
He kept on pushing and fighting with his shield from Christ
And he was willing to take the risk if it could benefit others no matter how big the price
He knew that he'd be drawing people out the darkness whenever their skies were overcast
Because he knew that one day he'd be telling this Story From The Past

I hear the melody though it skips a beat each time an arrow strikes
A sweet tune your personality plays leaving me to feel so enticed
Sometimes you drain me but it's like my glass never runs out because you know how to refill
It's delicate tank that on average was a desolate wasteland with no will
Think of it as a car with a messed up engine that needs a push to start
Or one of those moments you're losing the race but you receive a golden mushroom in Mario Kart
The feeling you bring chips away at my icebox and melts its inner shell til you can see what it was protecting
The barren but hopeful ***** that destiny and love were always neglecting
I can't picture many days where my face didn't light up just because I got to be with you
I know I see you almost everyday but you're like my Pokémon, I always want to Pik-a-chu
To be honest you remind me of a nice adorable little poodle and I just want to take you home
But since you're a poodle and all dogs go to heaven it means I have an angel in my midst to change my tone
I get all bubbly inside and carefree just being around you on a daily
It's like a sigh of relief, an Hakuna Matata, the only thing that keeps me from going crazy
You're the spice that seasons my character the taste of life I've longed for
The only reason I keep this electricity flowing is because you showed up with an extension cord
Even if I wanted to I couldn't deny the emotions I've been picking up lately
I just hope I'm not the only one that feels this way because you're the most incredible young lady
That I've ever met and honestly if I had to man up and tell you the truth about what I say in my mind
Then I'd tell you I could care less whether I'm called a friend because I always think of you as my future wife in due time
The bond I feel goes deeper than any mere infatuation
It passes a barrier that leads to a deep heart palpitation
There's not a chance that I'd miss if it meant I could capture your essence but from a closer distance
In a heartbeat I'd give up a fortune if it meant I could join your resistance
Because I can't resist you it's like trying to separate Martin Luther King from his dream
Or like trying to rip apart your favorite shirt seem by seem
I know that I can't explain deeply how I truly feel
Simples words can't explain what actions can though I have a hard time trying to reveal
My emotions through my actions because my body can get a bit stiff at times
And once I'm able to each action will amount to more than just some cheap rhymes
You are a beautiful flower, a caring spirit with a delightful attitude
An intelligent individual, a dainty little ole lady who can never be devalued
I can care less what anyone has to say because beauty is in the eye of the beholder and I definitely see more than beauty both inside and out
I see things I can't explain though they drive me toward you, reel me in, have me toss and turning in excitement and salivating from my mouth
And don't worry about the pain you once felt that's a past I will never let you look back on as each day passes
It doesn't matter how you look or who you turn out to be, I love you with both your braces and your glasses ☺️
We can both get cozy, live lavishly and live with this neverending luxuriance
Me and you together, we can explore with each other and make this A Wondrous Experience

She was a killer, with one look you would break like glass in an instant
But who knew looks could **** a heart that seems so distant
I never realized how her radiant smile could keep my blood pumping
But I doubt she wants someone who finds it hard to keep their heart jumping
If I could get the chance I would let it out with one burst
But sadly my hearts been given a life sentence a horrid curse
Why can't things go the way I want want them all I want is butterflies
She makes my knees wobble and she gives me love struck eyes
I want to be free and run out into the open
But its hard to give her the key to a heart that's been broken
She sets my heart ablaze but I am nothing more than a peasant
She's the greatest gift to my world but I want to be her christmas present
I have a heart in need of love the one thing I've experience the least
If we were together we would be known as Beauty and The Deceased

I'm in a spiral, stuck in the darkness where the truth is untold
But I watch it all unfold with dark clouds and below a black hole
It's like my mind's constipated, clogged up and blocking my thoughts
I'm going insane, running through the dark and I'm lost
I thought I saw a white light but the darkness flash bombed my eyes
I think I'm stuck in the darkness but the white light is lurking outside
This place of nothingness and its  contagious and infecting my life
It's like a virus and I'm stuck in an endless dark night
But where's my dark knight? I need these skies to be illuminated
So I could no longer waste all this time I've accumulated
Searching for the white light at the end of the road
Because nightmares are supposed to end but I'm still dealing with this heavy load
I'm being consumed by the darkness as it slowly spreads
It's already absorbed every inch of light like deleted threads
It's already too hard to go on that's why I'm sorry to say
I'll never meet this problem so I'll just keep running away

Listen, it's been so long that I've lost my ink
With no canvas to splatter my thoughts run amok
These words I exhale are like a faucet because I let my teeth sink
Into the rhythmic blues that were once confiscated when the past broke my future clock
So why'd I get confused?
My eyes were on an unbelievable prize or so I'd thought
I lost what made me feel amused
Now the ball's back in my court, there's no time to lay up when I could 360 this basketball like a good sport
But it's not because I made one shot
It's because I had one shot
But then my clock tick-tocked
Now I need a new wrist watch
Because my hourglass stopped and the small hand dropped off
Now I got myself caught up in the pain
Because this devastation must be planetary
Like how Kakashi won't be able to see Rinn-egan
So imagine Kurenai looking at Asuma in the cemetery
They often asked us
If a flower bloomed in a dark room would you trust it
But I still don't get what's all the fuss
Because they never told us if a thorn bush would kick the bucket
However that's a story for another episode
Or at least until I can find some new batteries for my remote
*** in all honesty I’m straying away from my code
But I’m still reaching for my dreams and no matter how hard they drift away they stay afloat
I can't complain because everyone hurts
Life was just another challenge
So I before I could be picked up I had to get knocked down first
Because I wasn't born with a silver spoon, for these tools I had to scavenge
I had one dream too many, nothing one cloud could hold
Thought I'd grow up to be a famous figure, you know somewhat iconic
So how is it possible such a shy kid made moves so big and bold
I wanted be a professional singer, dancer, footballer, and scientist but I found a muse in poetry, now isn't that ironic
I'd take a passion over money any day
I don't wanna be like one of those celebrity sell-outs
Because what you love and desire brings a bigger pay
I'd ring my Victree-bell and tell the story of how I was once a bellsprout
My ink and my canvas
Treasures I said I lost, not one but both
Til I went down the road to recovery, it made me feel so anxious
Then I realized with a pen and piece of paper anyone can write a poetic note
I was once a victim to society
My mind got penetrated by their voices
I suffered heavily from depression and anxiety
They broke my psyche so I started making the wrong choices
I plead innocent, it wasn't my fault
Yet I believed otherwise
They held the key to my dead bolt
My voice was too little and that was my greatest demise
That's just the carbon to the coke
So don't believe what stands before you
I'm standing asleep looking woke
A po guy seeing a panda do Kung fu
Dora taught me life's just another platform to go out and explore
Así mís amigos don't be afraid to reveal your poetic brilliance
Because I think I found the real me I've been looking for
It was lost til I caught it somewhere in the distance

I wish I could visit the days where I didn't have to hide til the day ends
The time where it was so easy to make friends
The time where there weren't all these trends
Why can't I just revisit that place again
I remember running around and playing in school
Way before it came a battle field where I was endangered in every duel
The time when you didn't have to swim with everyone else in the pool
I remember how great it was to act like a clown and be a fool
I remember the time when you had a sugar rush like a train in motion
The days where everything was pieced and there was no corrosion
The time when you dreamed of blowing up in society like an explosion
The time before people were objects that could cause an implosion
I remember when it was so easy to lie to my parents about being good
I remember not having to worry about life and being misunderstood
I remember being able to talk to her without standing stiff like plywood
It was all so clear, those beautiful days of my childhood

Riches turn to dust when their over done
But this is the year that we leave behind another one
We've been trying to endure the pressures while living in harmony
But yet we got through em all living as one family
If I could remake my decision I would stay where I am
Some of em put me through hell but in the end there my fam
Some of us may fight but we still fight for one another
I'm glad I could call so many of you my sisters and brothers
Its the memories we all had that make you all feel like the realest
It feels like some of us knew each other since each of us was just a fetus
If I had a coupon I would make sure our time could be redeemed
*** there's nothing I would be able to do without our Class of 2016

Clueless walking through the streets
Optimism keeps me on my feet
Nuisance to those I meet

Tagging along with the crowd
And do I feel proud
Gazing at my future in a shroud

It's about time I changed my methods
Obloquy makes me intrepid
Uncontainable as expected
Strong, encouraged and always tepid

My energy drains itself even though I'm solar powered
My smile shines brighter than the sun to cover up my darkest hours
I'm not depressed I'm just spaced out with all these planets in my orbit
I can see my future going nowhere for eons and my body floating through an endless timeline so morbid
So why am I still here? Thought by now I would've been deleted
I'm like Naruto when all of his chakra's been depleted
Only difference is I only have one source of energy
Eating away at all my hopes and dreams and memories
I think my existence has to do with one divine entity
Someone who's been watching over me before I came into the 21st century
And he's been a better friend than anyone's ever been to me
Even when I felt like I was the Judas Iscariot to his Jesus
Even when I was losing my faith and thought I was one of his least favorite believers
But who'd guess that there'd be a paradise beyond the clouds called heaven
Something I lived in almost fourteen years ago when I was seven
But not to mention, I'll be legal in less than a month in other places
Yet I've been holding this application and didn't sign up for any races
It's a little complicated but I'm no good with explanations
So I say good things come to those who wait and have patience
Just a daily thought nonetheless, a sermon who's message stays on repeat
It helped me build a foundation, a platform stronger than concrete
I was depleted one time too many now I'm no longer obsolete
I can hare my Energizer charge up now my energy will never deplete

I'm tired of my insecurities even if I think they're gone they still reappear
I already have social anxiety and even though I beat most of my depression this still isn't fair
I'm not as confident as the other guys, I'm too shy to speak up
Even writing this poem right now is just a little too much
It's always hard to address what's on my mind but nobody really gets it
I have a really big fear of being left alone and a feeling that sometimes I may not be accepted
I love my friends, they make me feel at home, but I can't let them know everything I think about
I often feel if I open my mouth and let the truth come out my life will turn into a blackout
And don't let me get started on talking to a girl I like, that's almost dang near impossible
I can barely do it behind a screen and my speech turns into my eyesight when I'm wearing an eye patch and a monocle
I can see out one eye but I can never make out the image because of the next
Meaning I can prepare my words ahead of time but my mouth pins up like arms coming short on a T-Rex
This is just a sample of the issue I deal with though it is my greatest burden
But I hope to be like Arthur some day accepting advice from Merlin

You shake up my insides
You fill my stomach with butterflies
You hurt my thoughts and brain
You give me so much pain
You make my heart beat faster
You create a horrible disaster
You make my legs feel like noodles
You make my mind seem very feudal
You shoot me with arrows like cupid
You make my actions look stupid
You cause a lot of drama and commotion
Because of all of these emotions

Lost my savagery when you savagely killed a savage who acted so savvy
But couldn't manage being a manager managing a team full of degenerates
That were below average but couldn't use it to his advantage
He couldn't move like a cabbage in the patch and his eye was patched like patchy pirating spongebob off of nick
Left in a bit of a pickle pickled up in a jar and couldn't pick out the edges so he cropped himself out the pic
Later on the script got flipped his mind drifted out to sea with flipper and his lights dimmed out because Nosferatu was flipping the switch
He quickly got suited up like a quint and everyone thought he was quick to quit but since he couldn't see he'd just squint but it was too dark like a window tint
He took in too much oxygen so they doused the splint and gave him a mint but he couldn't take a hint that his breath should be put up for rent
He was I and I was he and nobody could beat the heat he'd surpass twelve inches and you couldn't walk in his feet that'd just be another challenge he could defeat
Before all that he tried to get them to sign a treaty but they didn't treat him nice so he played a game of trick or treat til they gave him something nice to eat
In the end he made amends started trending but skipped the trends, sent a friend request but ditched his friends and began to tie up loose ends
He ran out of ink so I finished the story of how I became glorious and victoriously found the glory adventured like Rick and Morty and now he's finally made his-story

That was only chapter one did I forget to mention that I wasn't done things just started to get fun so relax and sunbathe in the sun
Lets cut out all the hullabaloo *** now we're in chapter two its time to get buggin like fuu and turn you around until you get *******
You heard my story so lets stick around for his after party and try not to b so cardi or a playboi or else you could get this poetry in motion like a hardy
He thought he was the kid of karate til he got stuck doing a jazz pilate all because Santa said he was naughty since his mouth was like a *****
But he was fearless with no fear God fearing but things still weren't fair just like the maiden who left him broken stole his keys and left him looking for bus fare hoping for a miracle like "******* why won't you appear"
He held the wheel but couldn't steer with death giving him a death stare and he only had to climb up that one stair but why would anyone think or care about someone who had no flare
But lets take a look at reality but through the oculus and watch the apocalypse settle down in his mind where the monstrous demons from the unknown started to make him feel anonymous
He was in his prime like optimus but he kept running in a zig zag line the people thought he was nauseous and no matter how mich he tried to be cautious he couldn't make his destiny autonomous
He thought he could strike lightening like laxus and he tried to bolt tackle like pikachu but everyone just kept asking him "Are u-sain?"
All his efforts were in vain he wasted all his time behind scenes with no name his life was like a planetary devastation filled with pain and he didn't have an umbrella to walk through the rain
He was in love but got blue ticked, wanted to ride her waves and listen to her hearts acoustics, but learned he wasn't the only tooth picked and in the end still couldn't face the music
This is the end of the chapter and I thought I couldn't lose it, his hearts going through a punic and he can't save his documents because he lost the rubric so he started burning tulips and there was no cure for his state of mind he was incurable the opposite of therapeutic

You know what, my hope is gone because my heart is about to shatter
How could you lead someone on? Do their feelings even matter?
I'm just done, love wasn't in my programming only heartbreak
How do I get fooled its like my heart blindly follows while my eyes turn opaque
I don't understand I thought there was someone for everyone
So why do I get rejected and lied to while i search for someone who isn't there its just pain and no fun
I'm tired of meeting new cracks draining the life out of my heart
I'm just tired of it soon my whole body will be torn apart
Why do you make me think there was even a chance when you only see me as a lost cause
I'm just gonna give it up there's no point in just pressing pause
I've already been torn so why are you joining that track
What, is your record so scratched up that you keep replaying the same words that mean nothing back
I just can't take it my life is messed up and you were the only person I thought could bring about a change
But yet you drove me over the edge leaving me to be nothing but deranged
I should of known my chances with you was nothing more than a bluff
I just can't take it anymore Enough Is Enough

Everybody's living in the fast life trying to afford a Lamborghini
But none of them know about sacrifice because these lambs be greedy
All of them wanna be speedy but their logic exceeds me
And I cannot fathom, just getting mental spasms, thinking of God saying "Look how they treat me"
They look for something easy and affordable so they spend their money on a Prius
And the vehicle is so important to them they can't even spend a second with Jesus
Getting so comfortable in their Toyota they toy over His word and its absurd that these are the same people who call themselves believers
And its grievous, because the whole world is going down the drain
Just shifting into the fifth gear and switching over to the widest lane
Ignoring all the stop signs, and running all the red lights like it was a videogame
Everyone is just so fast and furious with the need for speed with devil behind them in a hot pursuit yet no one's ashamed
See while everyone else drive's like their above everything like their on Saturn's rings I drive like a BMW
And that stands for a Blessed Man Working in faith because when you close your eyes and let Jesus take the wheel the devil can never trouble you
So can you even imagine that there's a Father who stopped you from going off course and Ramming into wall
A Father who helped you Dodge every obstacle, a Father who stands above all
A Father who decorated your interior and only ask for you to come forth and answer His call
A Father you overlooked and tossed aside yet He still picks you up even when you fall
See, we're too ungrateful to understand how privileged we are, but only realize when it's all gone
Do you want to be the Paul who was a slave to Christ or the Paul who crashed and couldn't carry on?
We ask everybody for directions, pull out the gps and forget that He never showed us wrong
God already laid out the track for us, but we freeze like Ice Cubes because we don't have the Hart to Ride Along
See I rather drive a Chrysler in this crisis to seek out the Christless
Now I didn't say ride in a sleigh to see if I'm on Santa's naughty or nice list
Because there's only one with undying love who presented me with the greatest gift
And no one can ever amount to my God who sugar coats nothing and keeps it all explicit
We were meant to love our brothers and sisters the same way we love ourselves right?
So why do we contemplate offering a ride even when our tanks are low? I thought we were supposed to walk by faith not by sight?
Of course we're going to experience a lot of bumps along the way and a few potholes amidst the asphalt
No one ever said this journey was easy, peasy or lemon squeezy, yet we still choose this road and when things get tough say it's God's fault
We move too fast, go past the speed limit, order a recipe for disaster without looking at the cons, and even swallow before we chew
We spend our last, even though we need gas and stuff our faces in sin just to make ourselves look the fool
We pile our plates up high thinking we can stomach everything and even try to consume the forbidden fruit
We need to watch our diets and what we allow to enter our bodies because our body's a temple more precious than a jewel
So many search for soul food others eat Little Caesar's
Not realizing that it was the romans who wanted Barabas over Jesus
And that conundrum was a two piece combo that was able to shake up the whole world
It was like watching the toters coming to the party and wrapping up all your food in ferl
This fast food has us all lost in the flesh all dying because of our fast livin
Eating from the Burger King when it's really the bread of life that has risen that we were given
To feast upon, because this Holy Communion was blood shed and a body broken for us all to live
He was able to feed the five thousand so we should have nothing short of our lives to give
This fast life will **** us all if we don't repent
Time spent feasting with the devil isn't time well spent

I've finally been released, the chains have been broken
This heart has been mended, by the words that were spoken
I've been set free from my pain, now I live without depression
There's nothing pulling me down, now I can let go of my aggression
My spirit can live in peace, it's all thanks to God
I'm different, and I know it, I don't have to feel odd
This sense of calmness in my soul I have never felt before
God opened me up and gave me a new life from his drawer
Its not only me, we can all get rid of the stains
I've done my part its time for us to break every chain
You're all going to be inspirational bombs, and live with his kingdom
Its about time that we've gotten rid of the pain, had our own freedom

Drip drop drip drop drip
The rain collides with the ground
A flood has started

The grass is drowning
No one to answer its call
Left for suffering

Hurdling the ground
There is no other option
No hope for the grass

The war is over
Now the rain is triumphant
The grass has withered

The ground left with dirt
Unable to recover
All dreams are shattered

They say home is where the heart is and my heart is always with you
And with my knees deep in flowers I skip on to the beat of your heart waiting for my cue
I'd go through the depths of the ocean through hell and back if it meant what has started will never finish
It doesn't matter if I die in the process just as long as our love will never diminish
Some people call me a faucet but there's no way you can drain out my heart
My love for you is never ending and its unique and beautiful like da Vinci's art
The book has already been opened and the first few pages were written
Now that we're together all I can do is nothing but express these emotions that were hidden
Untold secrets lie beyond the point of no return but for me returning is and never was one of my options
I've fallen so deeply in love with you after so many schemes and crazy love concoctions
Sometimes I ask myself why am I still here but then I always remember the answer
You're the only reason why I still have a physical form on this earth and I can't remove you from my mind like a brain cancer
Love is one of many words people learned how to utilize for their own selfish desires
But with every word I speak comes my deep and heavy emotions with no attached strings or wires
If I hadn't met you when I did I'd be lost wondering the earth like a slave
You were first my friend til I had awoken something more powerful and now my heart is where your name is engraved
Ever since I've realized the way I felt about you I couldn't stop my volcano from erupting
You're apart of my orchestra and you stand right beside me while I'm conducting
The sweet melodies of our love that never loses its strength but strengthens itself each day the sun rises
All I can tell you right now is that along the road expect a few things so don't be too shocked by all the surprises
On this blessed day I'm happy that I'm able to call such a beautiful, intelligent, courageous and strong  young lady mine
I would tell you the way I feel about you but I'd have to much to say but for now all I can say is I love you Happy Valentines!

Some say life is a mystery waiting to be solved
But why search for answers when the human race won't evolve
We walk the streets hearing gun shots day by day
And now the park is no place for a child to play
We can't resolve our issues like civilized beings
And no matter how high the problem gets it just seems like we're stuck on endless mountains skiing
There are too many people shooting stars without any care
Leaving a sea of lifeless rose petals here and there
How can this world move on when everyone else dies out
It's like we're all itsy bitsy spiders that can't make it up the spout
We live in a world filled with despair, hope and violence
And there are too many people sitting quiet with their voices being silenced
We all need to stop and come together as one nation
Move on higher to new places and make heaven our new destination
The time is just elapsing before we see the revelation
You better choose your path Heaven or Hell, which path will you be on after the segregation?

She's the person I want to spend my life with
Its not gonna be like a fairy tale, legend or myth
She's someone I know I can trust
I know she won't blow away like dust
It was destiny when our lives crossed paths
She's my 1 and I want to be her +1 in math
All the moments we spent all the times we laughed
She's the girl of my dreams she's my other half
Without her my life feels so incomplete
She's the only reason that my heart still beats
I'll do anything for her i'll be her seat
*** I know its not another heartbreak not another repeat
I know she's going to stay I know she won't wither
I'll do anything to keep her happy because I love her

Often frustrated because I get so motivated
Ya know?
Just a little elated from these ideas illustrated in my mind but never orchestrated
I get so boisterous every time I see the lines combine to make greatness
Only to escape with this imaginary ideal I created called hope
Yeah hope, not the pope
Its not something I worship but something that gives me purpose
And I was dead set on bringing it to life but I keep getting nervous
Feeling worthless because I lost my visions behind the curtains
That's why I still dig beneath the surface of my epidermis
And this is all seriousness, no games, I left that clown act at the circus
I got aspirations that reside in my inner sanctum
Stronger than Larry Lobster though smaller than Plankton
A bit ancient not extinct, still living but on the brink
Of extinction!
Well I guess that's what makes them...
So great
The feeling of obtaining success that you'll never reach
One moment its within your grasp and the next it disappears
I wish that could happen to my fears
Like my desire to never be alone even when I'm home
The only place I lock myself away from the outside
The only place I have no law to abide by
The only place I'm never safe from a drive by
Of thoughts loaded in the gun and the magazine's clipped with rounds of oppression
Not depression though it feels like that's where its headin'
But I'm not stressin'
Over these typical life lessons because I know miracles always happen
I'm not a reverend but I still preach these gospels because one day I'll be a CHAMPION!

Pierce my heart so I don't have to live to see tomorrow
I just want to enter an eternal dream state where nobody can follow
I'm on thin ice surviving on a soon to be flatlined lifeline
And if I could create a new timeline I'd walk out the sunshine and sit on the sideline
I'm stagnant or maybe that's what my mental's saying
It doesn't make sense to carry on because my positivity's decaying
No motivation for the future so why bother with gifting me the present
It might be a little unpleasant but I'll soon be evanescent
I'm not heaven sent or hell bound and mentally I'm not sound
So if tomorrow ever comes I'll be nowhere to be found
You'd think this was a joke but what if tomorrow I never woke
What if I became mute and never spoke
Better yet how'd I end up in this situation ready to send in a letter of resignation
Why do I want an endless vacation at my final destination
Guess the horror of living alone scares me more than the pleasure of dreaming forever
I'm just a puppet waiting to be used for the better
Only one thing on this earth would make opening my eyes worth while
Maybe I'd shut up sprinkle a bit of hope and advertise a faint smile
I want my head to feel the soft touch of a woman's chest
With my body gripped by hers while laying on her pillow like breast
But we can't all get we want, so that just about sums
What I think would happen If Tomorrow Comes

You've been the realest since we spoke
And all these emotions that awoke
Kept on pounding in my heart
*** cupid hit me with his dart
You helped me soar high like a sparrow
You lit my days like the green arrow
I just appreciate your presence
*** u don't treat me like a peasant
I wouldn't trade you for gold
I wanna live together and grow old
*** we could sing and make an album
*** I know that we could go platinum
You make my heart pound so fast
And I just want this moment to last
I really hope you feel the same
*** I wanna see your true glory and fame
*** your beauty is so divine
I just wanna know if you will be mine
You dont have to cut this line
So please just take your time

In this life we move carelessly, we skip to our lou and move to the beat of a false melody
But I guess we forget that lucifer was in charge of the music in heaven, he who always tries to reroute our destiny
We have to watch what we put into our systems, remember to be careful of what we let our little ears hear
We have to remember we're meant to be God's humble servants so this is our lifestyle not just our career
On the radio we pay attention to artist of all sorts, we turn up to violence, *** and drugs
Yet we wonder why we're losing today's generation, to so many broken homes, city girls and potential thugs
I know we've been sent here on a mission, but we've been given the free will to follow
His word, His commandments, His teachings, His son, yet to most that's a hard pill to swallow
Everyone feels the need to be caught up with the times, losing themselves in social media and keeping up with the lives of these celebrities
Not realizing what they're subscribing to and making room for these foreign entities
When most see their idols do foolishness they follow suit as if it were scripture to a believer
But I grew up hearing, "If your friends jump off a cliff you gone jump too?" That's why I strive to be a leader
I choose to lead by example and follow God's word, that's how I live my life, that's where my heart will always remain
Because I remember that Jesus sat with sinners He didn't sin with them, and I won't let His death be in vain
That's why I broke free of those chains and you are all free to do the same
Pick up yourself and rebuke living in shame let go of all that pain
It's about time you made that change, stepped forward so you could claim
Salvation now that you've been saved, and your flesh has been slain
Just watch all the angels in heaven rejoice now that another soul has been gained
And don't be jealous when your siblings are blessed, join the Hallelujah train
See I find it funny when I hear some people's outrageous beliefs and how they want to be respected
They place their faith in the alignment of the stars, meditate with crystals and do all sorts practices God already rejected
And don't get me started on those who claim we're imposing our beliefs
They're trying to force us all to live as they do, they're nothing more than hypocrites, God's lost sheep
They're the same ones that He went out to get, but I guess His word didn't have any effect
And that doesn't mean we should give up hope, we still have to pursue them because God's not finished yet
If we can read about Saul switching to Paul after killing so many Christians then why lose faith?
It may not be easy being a Fisher of men, but every man can still be caught with their own special bait
We were never told this road was a breeze that's why we have so many trials and tribulations
God only gives the toughest of battles to His of toughest soldiers, that's why He chose us to make a difference in this nation!!!

Happiness is but a myth, watching smiles light a room what a wonderful gift
I said happiness is but a myth, watching smiles light a room what a wonderful gift
I said happiness is but a MYTH, now that I have your attention watch my lips closely
Emotional battles rage on in both my heart and mind "Do I live, do I die"
Yes you heard me correctly I didn't think my heart would be sitting here playing I spy
Because my little eyes don't have enough tears although I cry the atlantic
But then again I rather spill my own blood and take a ride along the titanic
I'm only human so why must I suffer such a curse of a life
But who said I had to suffer when I own a deadly kitchen knife
That way I wouldn't have to be seen or heard, left alone to the dead and become extinct
Just wait for it to happen I'll disappear as soon as you blink
I can't live like this anymore broken, shattered searching for a crescent moon to meet my face
Only thing is I got that crescent moon but its hanging on the dark side blind to the sun deep in outer space
I'm a waste of space an outcast like Pluto wanting to be a planet but ******* I can't manage
I can't keep opening up a black hole and a worm hole and still try to cover it up with the same bandage
Thought I was loved in the slightest when in reality I'm a loner putting his shadow amongst the physicals
Well those who actually have a body since I deteriorated a while ago and couldn't even be called mechanical
I'm getting colder by the second you'd think I was a corpse
Well you wouldn't think it since it may soon be a true story and I'm telling you this without any remorse
Basically I hate life nothing was in it for me except the usual daily depression
I call it my best friend a brother and sister and it gives me the greatest ****** expression
I think the best way to leave this horror film is with the Grim Reaper as my shouffer
There's no way you can save me now because death is Just A Little Closer

Its been a while, I've been through dark times but I've found the light
The haters wanna knock me down but I rise and reach new heights
And now I've gotten closer to those I've never spoken to
This time they won't be fake but only true
My life has been so hectic I've been through it all
I've bounced everywhere I've been kicked around like a ball
I'm thankful for meeting her, the girl I didn't think
I would ever talk to, the girl who doesn't need a drink
I'm happy I never killed myself I'm happy I lived this life
And it still doesn't matter how much pain or strife
That I've been put through, it was just a trial for me to overcome
My battle's still going on but I'm at the top I've already won
I realized life was just to good to leave it behind so soon
Ever since I came out the darkness my problems flew away on a hot air balloon
Today I live in happiness, said bye to anger and depression
This is the life that I live and I'm gonna continue this session
I took a dive took a few hits and thought suicide was my only ticket
But I'm thankful for who I am just to be alive because this is Life Today As I Know It

Sweet flower standing tall and divine
Always standing where the sun shines
Surrounded by all your lovely petals
Always growing into a whole new level
But once the petals drop what is left
A poor little flower that has become quite bereft
The petals wither away and the flower left alone
So sad with nowhere else to call home
As seconds turn to minutes and minutes turn to hours
Time to say goodbye little lonely flower

Dear love why must you mess with my heart
You never let me do anything now
You leave me in a confused state
Always angry always sad always happy
I really wish you would set me free
And give my heart the right direction
You keep sending me left
No matter how much i want to be right
You leave me sleepless at night
No matter how much I want to relax in my dreams
Will you ever leave me alone
Will you stop sending me doves
This is my request my dear love

You've been around me for quite some time and life's too short to wait
You could let me in or lock me out but in the end I still want the key to your gate
I want it to last long to be something I could cherish til my death
I just have to tell you this even if these words are my last breath
The light you bring into my life brightens up my day and casts away the dark
You're my angel so be by my side *** I wanna hear this angel hark
You entered my life like a stow away on a ship
And I'd revisit the place I stowed you away in my heart *** that would be my greatest trip
Why don't you venture with me *** we could go beyond the great blue
Why don't you be mine, why don't you Make It A Dream Come True

I'm on mental lock after my mentality turned into mortal kombat
I was scorpion til I changed to sub-zero so stop playing with my thermostat
Can't be so hot and blazing like Chef Ramsey cooking with hell's fire
Then colder than ice like a snow storm going haywire
I lost my appetite sitting in standby as part of your perfomance
I got fire and ice around my heart and a giant hole so I feel hella dormant
You know I might as well cut this pity act out because I'm getting nowhere with these words
On God I'm really tired of my voice going unheard
This is a mental note I want you to take physically from me to you
So take the ******* invisible glasses off your face so you can hear one word or two
I'm locked away on my own private island not to escape but because I'm a prisoner
Yeah we're all human and a creation of God's but we're still natural born sinners
All sin is weighed the same still doesn't mean you can commit whatever crime you want
You committed the crime yet my poor excuse for a life is what death wanted to haunt
I'm physically, emotionally and mentally tired of this bs going on and enough is enough
Should've known It was all like Texas, I couldn't hold em so I never called your bluff
I'm spitting the blackness you instilled in my heart or should I say you added more fire to a dark and bitter flame
Just read the words being poured before I decide to blow out my cerebral membrane
Forget it you wouldn't understand anyway, you're only trying to be  a convict playing victim
A pity story is what you brought to the table end you still expect to believe that this is your dictum
I never thought this would be of reckoning for this path, didn't roses could turn into infectious weeds
I listened to my heart and tried to keep it all together thinking I was placing my faith in a mustard seed
Guess the jokes on me the devil most definitely is a liar guess he pulled all the stops on this one
Straight down from the bottom of your rugged feet up to the top of of hair placed in a bun
I had so many dreams yet I'm under enslavement to this game we shall speak of because I can't stop tossing and turning around in my sleep
Too many emotional scars and wounds and you don't have to guess because you know **** well that this one cut real deep
Depression and anger from hot to cold like sapphire and ruby
Their an inseparable pair some could call em a beastly beauty
But I never referred that to me that was an added line to make you think was a turning point where you'd see cherry blossoms
I got all these lego blocks falling apart from my heart when I only wanted to be AWESOME
Cut the bs out I didn't I'd be fighting Edward scissor hands with a piece of paper
I got so much my presents ****** like my past, I feel like the next Hello Neighbor
I'm getting ready to conclude to you what I feel burning within in my body and its not a desire to return
I feel like a newly born 9/11 disaster and now its only become none of your concern
Just lost and broken no words to be spoken I'm at a suicidal arcade trying to spend all my tokens
Getting ready to walk down the streets so once I say Sesame the doors'll be opened
You brutally murdered what little sanity and I'm on my way to an insane asylum
I can't excuse the pain you left behind beating me humdrum
I'm on my last limbs trying to send you a direct quote
Because I won't be the only one who has to pay after writing this Mental Note

I'm ready to shoot, hand me the pistol *** I'm ****** all the time
These issues are deeper than an Adam's apple so take a bite of Adam's apple, that was the world's first crime
I hid myself so much my sanity was the only thing the seeker couldn't find
I made contract for my life but the liability waiver was never signed
I'm lost in these thoughts undoubtedly trapped in my own mind
Just waiting for the stars and planets to become aligned
Since things naturally don't go right although a stitch in time saves nine
But its all like Amanda on drugs, that life's the only thing she couldn't Byne
I'm brain dead to reality you could call that a cerebral ******
I'm trying to bend the facts but I just keep saying "insert girder"
I tried to dance life away so I took lessons from Tina at Bob's Burger
But I still seem to be invisible in plain sight like telling you what the hell is a Berber
I'm just rambling out words to hide the old love in my eyes
Since I was stuck in the past searching for an ex-her-size
And if you looked into my eyes two months ago I could tell you I loved to despise
A relationship til I caught an angel with no lies or disguise
I always wondered what life would be like if both my grandfathers never died
I met one at his funeral and the other had a demolition dirby crash because the other guy didn't read the driver's hand guide
I'd give a lot to see them and what they were like they'd be the ones I confide
The feelings of my past pain and agony, let then know how I was trapped in the rough seas with high tide
I often believed my eyes drip dropped because every drop eye dripped was a waterfall of mental issues
If you thought Squidward was bad when he sang boys who cry then I'm gonna four ply for these eyes no other tissues
I used to take happiness for granted well at least that was my excuse
To stay in the darkness of my shadows because I couldn't even reach silver with my super sonic level of abuse
Corruption is nothing but a stain on my shirt and memory lane is just about an aisle down from my rebirth
I didn't think I could make it this far after being imprisoned behind the suicidal bars and my lack of self worth
I wasn't too fond of my father so I adopted father time and it was mother's nature to act like my mother earth
But sometimes I think this life being born was but a broken condomn that couldn't break the return the slab curse
Its been a while since I've had a depressing memory but thank GOD its still that way
I'm still trying to walk on my ten toes so I could tip toe through the Garden of Eden when its my time and day
But sin weighs me down and I live off of these unhealthy murderous thoughts and sometimes forget to pray
Good thing I'm still in my youth pushing it to the limit like Corbin Bleu would say
I have at least eight more lines left so let's keep the heat running at a ten
Watch what light enters your eyes because my fire could damage your retina and shatter your lens
Leaving you with distorted images like capturing Kodak, black and white pictures will be the new trend
If your not laughing yet take a sip of this aqueous humor, my boujee friend Mercedes thought her last name was Benz
There's little to go so try to read in between the lines of this mental battle
You're stuck playing with babies but I'm trying to hang with the snakes that rattle
This conversation is from me to you never look for a farmer who'll treat you like cattle
And if didn't you know I was the narrator, main character and second person so has your mind been dismantled?

The words I speak aren't the words I mean
Only making whats on the inside sound like a dream
The actions I pursue are nothing else but a blessing and a curse
I make it seem like its all fun and games until it ends up getting worse
I struggle to show people the real me
So I separate myself and I like an apostrophe
I take leaps without the cord attached but I plunge futher and further to my death
With the way I act and the life I lead I feel like I might breathe my last breath
Don't mind the ******* you see on a day to day basis who keeps who he is lurking in the shadows
But try to look beyond that wall to see the determined young man who wants nothing more but to help those who continue to suffer and carry all those logos
Why is it that no one can look past the act and for once take me seriously when I ask for the chance
Because some day I'll just wanna sing like David sang and dance like David danced
I hide who I am because no one can comprehend whether I'm being delusional or the person they see in the end
I act stupid, but only to see a smile on the face of someone who couldn't take it anymore, for someone who couldn't turn to any other friend
I don't regret my actions but I either pity and own them or believe that this is something I want to continue
But now I realize I must make some changes to my schedule and create a new agenda so I can leave my venue
Don't get me wrong I still wanna have fun with all the fun and games but right now I'm just tired of feeling ashamed
Because each time it drives me further and further to becoming a young man who's lost the meaning of his name
If it were so easy I would show the person living on the inside and the person I aspire to be
I pray to God that I don't lose who I am because that's the one thing I hold dear and closest to me
I'd rather let out the person hiding on the inside trying to make who he really is known, but thats only if I could
Because I can't stay quiet, I want people to know that I'm tired of being Misunderstood

If it wasn't for the love from above I wouldn't have found my dove whom I'll always protect
We're closed on the same circuit feeling the static of the electricity as our hearts connect
We've had our ups and downs and I don't care what anyone says your flaws are what make you the person I love
You're the only reason I'm still able to walk on my feet I'm the foul ball that landed in the mitts of your glove
People always change in mysterious ways, but jinkies I'd rather sit back and solve all your mysteries
If anyone was to ever lay a hand on you I might go berserk and surgically strike back with a hundred different bistouries
People say its hopeless to think things will last forever but I believe anything will go far as long you have the ability to believe
We have so many obstacles lying ahead of us and when life decides to throw heavy blows we'll just bob and weave
We were just ordinary people with no sense of direction but we're learning and slowly growing
I'm glad that I've found you, No! There's no word that can express why I'm better off knowing
That I have someone that I can always protect, care for, look after, love and share every emotion
I'll be with you to the end with the love of my life standing behind me through thick and thin through all the drama and commotion
They say behind every great man stands a great woman and you're the one who takes that position in my life
With any enemy that heads in our direction you'll be the big machine and I'll be covering you from above, I'll be the snipe
I know that If I had taken that left turn I don't know where I would've been tonight
Nothing can change the way I feel about you and there's no one who can stop me from giving you my undivided love Mrs. Right