Here I am again, with a tightness in my chest that only means one thing
I'm falling and it's not in love
Deep within the confines of my mind is scar tissue so grotesque that no scalpel or other remedy has yet to remove it
And it's under this that houses the secrets that aren't so secret anymore
I've been exposed and I don't know how to cope...
How do I explain the inner workings of something that's broken
I don't
That's my answer
I've lost the warmth you've asked for many years ago
I don't do understanding just as I don't do love
Not anymore, and yes it's been a while since
But I'm still sore
And my throat still stings like a mouth full of saltwater,
And my lungs burn like a breath of sulfur and cigarette smoke,
My veins web like train tracks trying to carry life back to a heart that beats thanks to a grace I'll never deserve
And it's this life I lead that troubles my mind late at night,
Lying next to someone wondering what I'm doing with my life like a light bulb with a paper filament I feel like I'm on borrowed time
And it's this fire I feel that I am scared for
For I'm afraid of the dark
And the only other source of light in my life at the present time comes from someone I barely know
And it's in this cold home I find myself with a keyboard tap tapping through thoughts that probably shouldn't be exposed to those who know me but here we are
Words have always been hard but somehow I find these lines flow from my mind like spilled bleach wiping away all other words I could say
Because talk is cheap but I hope these words hold meaning
And that it may better reveal the cracks in my facade for I am no different
I pretend like everyone else
And my only hope now comes from these very same cracks for I hope that somewhere somehow a light can find it's way back into those thin walls in between the tectonic plates of my heart.
A light in the dark