I can't sleep
Everytime I remember your words
They snap and recoil
And hurt me awake
Next time when someone
Promises me forever
I'll just smile
Look them in the eyes and ask
How long is forever to you.

I am bordering on crazy and sane
I am balancing between smart and dumb
I am tripping between love and apathy
I am stumbling between living and existing
I am not this nor that, I am just a border line.
So who am I?

Sometimes I have no control
I just stop functioning
But I don't
My hands move
My head moves
My eyes move
watching it all happening
But it's not me
But it is
What is happening?
Who is in control?

I'm sorry.
I wish I hadn't said what I said.
I can see that you're trying.
I know you've changed.
I want my room back.
I want my home back.
I want my family to be pieced back together.
I miss feeling useful.
I haven't felt anything but sad since I left.
I need that light back in my life.
I want to cry but
I have to stop the tears.
I hate being apart from you.
I just want to go home.

Under the orange
street lights
it's 3am

Longing to find him,
she skulks alone
in the dark

And as London sleeps
her cries go unheard
by all but one

I adore you
I adore the way you speak
so soft, so slow, so sweet
I adore the way you think
so deep, so true, so concrete

The way your heart races,
your pulse pounds through every vein
the way you calm me down
comfort me through the pain

The way you lick your lips
when they get so close to mine
The way you run your hands
up and down my spine

I adore the way you giggle
at all my corny jokes
The way you make wiggle
with every single stroke

I adore the way you make me feel
How you open every door
The way you make my toes curl  
on the bed and on the floor.

I adore the way treat me
How you make me feel like a queen
The way you make me relax
when I'm scared of everything

I adore the way you make the world
bow down at my feet
With you I feel so powerful
No one else can compete

I adore you with everything
my inside and out
I could honestly give my all to you
I adore you