all of these words that come into my mind when someone says your name
I wish I could string them together in a line and tell you just how much you mean
I wish I could tell you how I feel because all of you is jumbled in words that I just can't make the sentences to tell you
I wish I could make sentences of the pieces of the memories I had with you so I could tell it like my favorite story so it would never be forgotten

i spent all of my time trying to figure out how to word him into a poem
i wanted to tell everyone how he smiled with his beautiful teeth, or how
when he laughed it made me the happiest.
i wanted to write about the way he said my name,
and how it just rolled off his tongue
i wanted to tell the world about the boy that
i loved so much, i wanted to write a poem
of him but i realized that
i couldn't write him because
he was already written, and he was the poem
that i'd always wanted

you told me that you loved me
and i believed you
you told me i was special
and i believed you
you told me i was beautiful
and i believed you
then something changed
and you told me i was worthless
and i believed you
you told me i was useless
and i believed you
you told me i was no good
and i believed you
because i was so in love with you
even when you turned bad i believed every word you ever said

how could the person that gave me everything i've ever wanted
be the same person that took everything away from me

he gave me so much life now he makes me want to die
he gave me a reason to smile now he smiles when i cry

if i had no money to my name
but i still had you
i'd have the whole world
because you make me smile more than
any dollar has.

if i lived on the streets
but i still slept in your arms
i'd feel at home every night
because you feel more like home than
any four walls have.

if i never see the sun again
but i still say you
i'd still have sunny days
because you're brighter than
all of the rays.

you asked me for a cigarette and smoked with me.
you told me you liked the way i smiled.
you ******* told me i was something new
that you had never seen.
you looked me in the eyes and told me
you loved me.
but you looked right through me and
at her just weeks later.
did you ask her for a smoke too
or was that just a ******* joke?

i love you more than the sun loves the moon;
i'd spend my whole entire life chasing you
just trying to catch a glimpse of your beauty

paint me a picture of you and i
paint me a picture of you loving me
sorry if that's too hard for you to imagine,
it's been so long since we've loved each other
paint me a picture of us when you told me you'd loved me for the first time
paint me a picture of us when first moved in together
it's been awhile since you've been in this apartment with me
paint me a picture of you leaving me through the kitchen door
paint me a picture of you with someone new
because that's too hard for me to imagine

my mom always told me that spring brings new things
i always thought she had meant flowers not the new
feelings of falling for you.

your kiss makes me feel like my favorite liquor
warm and sweet the sparks burn my throat like your favorite whiskey
wild with desire, full of bad habits, and addiction
I'm well aware of the pain i'll have tomorrow
but i drink you up anyway