Life.

Life?

Time drifter.

And then,
then
- this.

**** it.

I am not fit for it.
I know I am not.

I can't breathe.

I can't breathe
either way.

It's been a year since I tasted the sea
And let its vast strength wash over me

It's been a year since the mischievous sand
Tickled my bare feet, slipped out of my hands

And the sun kissed my starved skin,
Marking it all over, illuminating me from within,

If only I could close my eyes and be there for just a moment, if not more,
I'd lay myself, carefree, unarmed, vulnerable, at the endless sea shore

And as the sparkling waves would splash over my thirsty soul,
I'd become one with water, sun and sand- for just a moment, if not more.

If i could, i would,
Disassemble your malfunctioning thought processes
And rewire them back together again,
With a spanner, in the manner,
That meant you were not
Classed as insane.
I'd unfold and rearrange,
The chemical imbalances
Within your brain
So that the years of disdain,
And self blame,
Where a thing of the past,
I'd put you back together,
In a way, that showed you,
You were meant to last.

Punch
Kick
Body shot
Headbutt
Elbow
Knee
Slap
Pinch
Hair pull
Fly kick
Drop kick
****** nose
Awkward silence
Depart.

When I was young I have been told
that we should be saved for someone
Reserved for all our teenage years
Get a job, hold my life together
Maybe get a car, or buy a house
Be able to pay back my parents for all that they have done
And then maybe, one day, get married

They taught me to never
give my body to just anyone
And even if I wanted to,
I couldn't
There were always friends and parents
I could get a kiss from time to time
But I could never show my naked body
There were always friends and parents

So instead,
I showed my eyes
And my lips
And he showed me his teeth
And his hands
I showed him my fingers and cheeks
My corners
And he showed me the back of his neck, eyelashes
His edges
My holy ground

When our hands entwine,
We are making love
When we get coffee on a sunny afternoon,
We are making love
When I am on the other side of the room
And our eyes meet
And we smile,
We are making love

Oo,napakatanga ko
kasi hanggang ngayon umaasa parin ako
umaasa ako na mamahalin mo rin ako
umaasa ako na ang tingin mo sa akin ay pwede pang mabago

Sa bawat luha ko,
ngingitian mo ako
sa bawat tingin ko,
papatulan mo

Kaya ito namang si tanga,
ngayon ay umaasa
umaasa sa pagibig niya
na sa totoo naman ay hindi niya makukuha

May umaasa kasi may paasa
hindi lahat pero madami
yun ang aking masasabi
at wala kayong magagawa

Pero seryoso,
hindi naman talaga ito para sa akin
ito ay para sa kaibigan kong ayaw magising sa katotohanan
alam niyang paasa pero hangang ngayon minamahal niya

Ako'y nahulog sayo
hindi inaasahan sayo'y magkakagusto
akala ko kaibigan lang kita
pero mayroon palang hihigit pa

Ika'y nagkukwento tungkol sa inyong dalawa
kita ko ang iyong pagkagalak sa iyong mga mata
at tuwa sa iyong labing mapula
hindi mo alam ako'y nasasaktan na pala

Gusto ko mang mag selos
ngunit wala akong karapatan
Masakit mang isipin
ngunit yuon ang katotohanan

Ako'y nasa gilid habang kayo'y pinagmamasdan
masayang nagkukwentuhan at nagtatawanan
Tila pinagtagpo ng panahon para magkatuluyan
at ako ito na tinakda para maiwan at masaktan

After a year, you talk
Like I was
Already alright.

I am. I am now better.

But I was enough
For you to think
That you have
Enough ears, enough eyes
To look at you.
feel you
Touch you


I was mesmerized
By the idea
That you were
More than enough...

You were a dream.
were..

I should be happy,
I should be okay

maybe these are the same thoughts in your pretty little head

Thing is I'm okay
I'm alright

I'm better now.

**Alive.