If I was a mountain

That soared towards the sky,

With craggy snow caps

And stormy grey eyes-



Then you'd be the clouds

That swaddled my peak,

That silenced my thunder

When I tried to speak.



If I was the earth

The desert, in fact:

With arid dry soil

And mud, baked and cracked-



You'd be the rain

The downpour that soothed;

The balm to my bruises,

Relief to my wounds.



If I was the Moon

In the indigo night,

With stars as my blanket

And silver; my light-



Well you'd be the Sun

Just always behind

That lent me your glow

And caused me to shine.

something's got an iron grip on my heart and i know it's not a person but there's no doubt in my mind that there are fingers squeezing the blood out of my heart like a ripe orange, trying to stop the beat beat my chest is being controlled by an invisible hand that is crushing my ribcage and compressing the most delicate parts of me oh im sorry that i can't love you but dear god i cannot breathe somebody please help my face is turning blue all i'm looking for is an escape from this hell can't you hear me screaming i am choking on stale air i am tired of where i am oh
living is difficult when you've forgotten how to breathe

yes i smoke

i smoke to put something in my hand

to replace the same place your hand used to rest

so maybe its a force of habit

yes i smoke

just to keep something warm near me

because most things are painfully cold lately.

I write "you exist"
on the fragility of my wrist
because I need to remind myself
that this isn't a nightmare
and life has good parts too.

I need these words to fetter me
as if I were something solid
because I haven't felt that lately

I am the dead leaf
detached from branches
broken off from life

I am the echo in the mountain
too late
belonging to no one

I am the carving on the tree trunk
a reminder of a love already gone
fading, unnoticed

I am the falling star
burning, blazing
dead a million years.

I am nothing
but I exist.

I exist.

Do not poke the sleeping beast
that hides behind another's mask
his words not written to inspire
but to wound and belittle.
He crows for attention, 
this loathesome creature,
with boundless ego
and tongue firmly 
rotting in pustuled cheek
he will not be the thief of confidence
he will not be the silencer of hope
for he is the keeper of bitter misery
the captain of a sinking ship
not one will touch his heart
as it sits within it's cavern of disdain.

you always say the opposite
But I suppose you only like girls
who are shattered and want to get hurt

you love having your claws gripped deep onto their hips
digging into their skin
making sure that the cuts and the bruises you are creating are in a shape of a heart and that
your claws are so deep in
so that when the blood is dripping onto the ground,
you are facing the ground
smiling
looking at how beautiful it is seeing your name in blood

j.f

CAUSE YOU NEVER ACCEPT ME FOR WHO I AM
SO I CHEAT ON THE TRUTH
SPREAD LIES IN EVERY TRUTH