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Penelope Winter Sep 2018
I was a rose
I was beautiful
I ripped off a petal for you every day.
But when all that remained
Was my thornēd stem
You gave her my blood red bouquet.

- p. winter
Penelope Winter Mar 2022
I shall not force your fist to uncurl,
But, should your hand open,
Of its own volition,
Mine will always be ready to hold.
How dangerous, my readiness
To be yours.

- p. winter
I am very sick and very sad and weeks behind in every class
Penelope Winter Feb 2022
as teardrops fall onto the pew,
i bring to Him my love for you,
each prayer from my lips a plea
to guide you safely home to me

- p. winter
sobbed my eyes out at adoration, what else is new
Penelope Winter Sep 2017
dont be afraid to hurt me
with the truth

talk to me
scream at me
but baby

please dont lie to me

- p. winter
Penelope Winter Oct 2017
When did “I am beautiful”
And “I am skinny”
Become the same thing?

- p. winter
Penelope Winter Mar 2019
surrounded by others
surrounded by love
yet always
always
alone
- p. winter
Penelope Winter May 2019
I’m not easy to love
Don’t expect me to be
I’ve got bruises and baggage
And boundaries
And I might make you yell
Or I might make you smile
But if there’s one thing I’ll make:
I’ll make it worthwhile.

- p. winter
Penelope Winter Mar 2019
my heart is protected by a picket fence
awaiting a strong gust of wind

- p. winter
Penelope Winter Dec 2018
a forgotten soul in a noisy room
looking for someone
anyone
who remembers

- p. winter
Penelope Winter Jun 2019
Trace your fingers down my arm
Make a stop at every scar
Kiss them kindly
Help remind me
Life is better where you are
- p. winter
Penelope Winter Jul 2019
This body
Has been with me
For as long as I have lived

Why must it
Betray me so

- p. winter
Penelope Winter Jul 2019
Sadness meets me every day
A new disguise put on display
Making sure where’er I go
I see him in each face I know.

- p. winter
Penelope Winter Aug 2019
A gift from heav'n
To bless my life
A man for whom
Is no worthy wife

But must I choose
'Tween he and He?
Two loves
True loves
Dismemb'ring me.

- p.winter
Penelope Winter Aug 2019
i fear to let go
to close my eyes
and wake to find you
gone

- p. winter
Penelope Winter Jan 2020
From this day on,
I promise to never let you spend another day thinking you are not worthy of love.

Even if, one day, I am the only one left who loves you,
I will give the love of a thousand hearts,
And you will never feel lonely
Again.

- Note to Self
    - p. winter
Penelope Winter Jan 2022
Your presence, twice the pain of what
Your absence e'er could be.
A ******* of sorts am I
To keep you close to me.

- p. winter
sorry if you thought anything interesting was happening in my life but this is literally about having a pet cat even though you're allergic
Penelope Winter Nov 2021
I must be in denial.
I chose this for myself
And for you.
But if I saw you from across the room
I wouldn’t be able to look away.
And if I saw you on the street
I’d run and wrap my arms around you.
And if I saw you with another
I would freeze.
And remember.
And force myself to cross the street.
And force myself to look away.
I chose this for you
And for myself.
I must be in denial.

- p. winter
Penelope Winter Jun 2018
Summer, take the rain away.
Summer, take the pain away.
Winter froze my flowering heart,
Teach it how to bloom today.

- p. winter
Penelope Winter Sep 2018
you are the sun and i the moon
for your radiance gives warmth and life
and only when i reflect your glory
do i become my best and brightest self

- p. winter
Penelope Winter Oct 2017
I am the only one
Who will never leave me
A heartbroken mess.
So why am I
The hardest to love?
And why are the traitors
So easy
To fall for?

- p. winter
Penelope Winter Nov 2021
my dignity dripped down my cheek
racing towards the floor
as you wiped it e’er so gently with your thumb

i let myself be overwhelmed
by sentiment once more
then slowly felt my heart again go numb

as i always knew it would
as it always has before
as it always will for many years to come

- p. winter
Penelope Winter Nov 2021
tomorrow will he look at me
with pity in his eyes,
ignore my vulnerability
and entertain the lies
of how i can be flourishing
while my emotion dies,
or will he never look at all
and hope i understand what that implies

- p. winter
Penelope Winter Sep 2017
You celebrated my victories with me
Until they become our victories
But now you're gone and I
Don't celebrate anymore

- p. winter
v/s
Penelope Winter May 2019
v/s
too afraid of lo_ing you

- p. winter
Penelope Winter Apr 2017
you come alive in my poetry.
for it is when I write,
and only then,
that I pour everything out
to you.
and leave myself
completely vulnerable.

- p. winter
Penelope Winter Jul 2017
My powerful heart
Lays down all defences, and
Loves you entir'ly.
found this in my drafts
Penelope Winter Mar 2022
walk on, my dear
left foot then right
for i am cursed
with lover’s blight

amid the tears
i’ll smile for you
you won’t look back
i’ll mourn for two

walk on, my dear
right foot then left
you’ll love again
i’ll die bereft

- p. winter
knowing someone wouldn’t be happy with you but selfishly wanting them to stay but having to watch them go blah blah blah emotions emotions emotions
Penelope Winter Nov 2021
And how I’ll miss
Your hand around my waist
Pulling me in
Reminding me
Some part of me is good.

- p. winter
Feeling wanted for the first time in a while is outrageously addicting
Penelope Winter Nov 2021
Each minute in his arms
Lets in another ray of sun.
I never knew that I could be so warm.

But the solstice is approaching,
The cold will soon return
And bring with it my hypothermic norm.

- p. winter
basically the same as Hold Me and it's not even that deep he's just so **** warm and it's so ****** cold outside and I haven't let anyone hold me in so long and just wow is this what it's like to let people in?
Penelope Winter Jul 2017
There is art in crimson bloodshed,
There is music in explosion,
There is poetry in battle cries,
In death, ghostly symposion.
Yet, one can't help but admit
There is venom in war's bite.
Enough to make illustrious soldiers
Cry to sleep each night.

- p. winter
I was challenged to use the word "illustrious" in a poem
Penelope Winter Nov 2017
I think my greatest weakness
Was that I never knew when to give up.

I fought to the death
I pushed too far
If I knew I was right
I made sure you knew too.

And I think your greatest weakness
Was that you gave up too easily.

You never screamed back,
Let me win when I shouldn't have,
Watched me defend arguments
You knew made no sense.

But one day,
Our roles changed.
You fought and I
Surrendered.

When we played "who can walk away first"
And I let you win.

- p. winter
Penelope Winter Mar 2022
we fade to hazy shadows
     with the darkness and the cold
we acquiesce to blindness
     without lover to behold
we lose ourselves to yearning
     with no prize for being bold
we leak into tomorrow
     with our hearts of rot and mould

- p. winter
what’s it like to live a life you enjoy
Penelope Winter Nov 2021
kiss me on the hand
erase the pain i used to know
and
take me
on adventures
never minding where we go

- p. winter
what a simp
Penelope Winter Nov 2017
I wrote him a poem
And kept it well hid
Til' the day that I thought
He should hear what I'd writ'.
So I sat by his side,
And watched his eyes perk
As I told him I'd let him,
Just once, read my work.
I don't think he realized
I wrote it for him
But I saw on his face
As it suddenly sank in.
He looked in my eyes,
His as wide as the moon,
And said I expected
Too much
Too soon.
He got up to leave,
Threw my book to the ground,
I begged and I pleaded
But he heard no sound.
He turned on his heel
As I drowned in regret.
Guess that's what the vulnerable
Poets get.

- p. winter
Penelope Winter Nov 2021
we kiss yesterday goodbye
but love’s what i’ll remember
even now you’re gone

think of me tomorrow
as you travel on

- p. winter
This is fully just a subtle rewrite of the song What I Did For Love from A Chorus Line. Good song. Hits hard. Even harder when it’s lowkey relatable.
Penelope Winter Oct 2017
I will still picture the lonely canoe
Gliding through the ghostly fog,
The amber leaves falling leisurely,
Rippling the lake's surface.
I will still feel my chilled lungs
Breathing in the crisp air,
Each breath running through my veins
Like the frost clinging to the windows.
I will still hear my father's voice
Reading forest fables,
His intonation lulling me to sleep
As it has for many years.
I will still taste the charred air
Of glowing embers by the lakeside,
As family gathers with maple spears
To continue the old man's tradition.
I will still smell the gasoline
Keeping my four-wheeler humming,
Granting me that annual sense of momentary freedom,
My helmet displayed as proudly as a crown.
These memories I keep stored
With old flannel sheets and hiking boots.
For these memories of autumn
I always will
Be thankful.

- p. winter
Penelope Winter Apr 2022
The sun was not attracted
To the darkness in her eyes,
So she brightened them with shooting stars
And twinkling fireflies,
But each morning she would fade away
As he began to rise,
So she made the moon to hold
The mere reflection of his light amid her skies.

- p. winter
man **** these meds why do I have to choose between a peaceful brain and a peaceful sleep
Penelope Winter Nov 2021
I treat myself to memories.
Of hands dancing along my back,
Gently as summer wildflowers.

But my body still can feel
The frost of another’s touch
In places I wish knew only warmth.

Wildflowers become icicles.
No spring can melt what has been
Frozen into my skin.

- p. winter
Penelope Winter Jun 2018
My head once rested on your shoulder.
Your skin once brushed 'gainst mine.
Our eyes once smiled,
But love, once wild,
Will always tame with time.

- p. winter
Penelope Winter Nov 2021
I never cared for
Wine until you kissed me with
Its taste on your lips.

- p. winter
I hate when haiku phrases don’t align with the lines but I’m making an exception for this one
Penelope Winter Jun 2018
And I can't help but
Wonder if he thinks of me,
Or chose to forget.

- p. winter
Penelope Winter Nov 2020
I wish for my work
To bring a smile - and smiling
To not be such work.

- p. winter
Penelope Winter Jun 2017
Each move intrepid.
So much could be lost, but oh
How much could be won...

- p. winter
Penelope Winter Feb 2018
For now it’s torture
But one day I’ll get to say
You were worth the wait

- p. winter
Penelope Winter Jul 2019
Perhaps the most
Difficult challenge
I've had to face
Is trying to believe
I could ever be
Remotely worthy
Of your love.

- p. winter
Penelope Winter Aug 2017
I could write of woe and worry,
I could dance of daffodils,
I could sing of happy happenings,
Or dream through inkēd quill,
Somehow I find myself quite stuck,
Though I have many tales to tell,
So I'll just write of writer's block
And hope it comes out well...

- p. winter
Penelope Winter Nov 2021
i lie within a patch of sun on my bed,
the sound of a guitar in the air around me,
and gaze across the street
while children laugh and dance at school

i am alone
but you are here

in the sunshine by my window
in the music that i play
in the laughter and the dancing
in the pavement ‘cross the way


i stroll through familiar streets
the cold biting at my ears and fingertips
i keep my eyes down and do not look at the trees
but i feel it in my heart when i pass the very one

i walk alone
but you are here

my hands cannot be cold
when they are rested in your own
the tree blooms in november
from the warmth that it was shown


i close my eyes and hope to dream
of anything but you beside me
for waking to an empty bed
would only rip my scarring heart open again

i sleep alone
but you are here

not only in the comfort
and the slowly fading light
but in the rosary i prayed for you,
and still do, every night


you are everywhere
and yet i am
alone

- p. winter
how do you turn off your feelings, asking for a friend
Penelope Winter Jun 2017
You were the calming moonlight
Through skies of moonshine and loneliness
Surrounded by the fog and the thunder
And yet seen only as an omen of hope
A kaleidoscope of memories
But now they're just engulfed
In a cloud of powdered emery
I know the words you spoke
Were not spoken accidentally
I know the way you felt for me was not coincidentally
The same way I did
So tell me why, sentimentally,
I look at our photos and cry
(Physcially and mentally).
I know the day you left
Was not just incidentally
The same day that I told you:
(Regretfully)
I love you.

And you know that I know,
You loved me too.
Unforgettably.

- p. winter
Penelope Winter Jun 2018
you think you're moving on
that i never made an impact
that you'll forget my name
as easily
as you forgot my love.
but i see it in your new doll,
you can't help
that i am etched into your conscious.
her hair and eyes the same chocolate shade as my own.
her dancing the exact mirror of mine.
she says your name and your ears hear my voice.
you think you're moving on
with someone new
but you're just moving on
with your new me.

- p. winter
Penelope Winter Jul 2017
You won't want me when you discover what my brain is capable of doing.
You won't find me beautiful when my fear takes over and I'm curled on the floor.
You won't look me in the eye when my lungs gasp for the air my mind won't let them have.
You won't kiss me when the tears fall and my hands begin to shake.
You won't love the anxious burden that I so often become.
The shrinks will say I'm fortune telling and trying to read your mind.
But I know you will slowly despise me when you see what my thoughts can do.
I know this for a fact because I despise myself for having panic attacks too.

- p. winter
I hate myself for it. I find it difficult to see how anyone couldn't.

— The End —