i betray myself every night,
when i sneak off
and see you in my dreams.

when you ask me if I'm bored
of listening to your terrible stories,
it makes me think about
what boredom means to me
and why it’s beauty that I find
in apparent mundanity.

you color my life in every tone of grey -
in a nourishing and poetic, underrated way.
GREY - the soul of every color in the world;
Invisible and aligned - right between extremes -
like all well designed things are known to be.

Or maybe because grey
feels like routine,
and you’re the everyday
that's to come and that has been.

you're where I set my bar for normal;
you're my Sunday night pajama informal.

You’re my common sense, and my reality check,
my perspective lens, my goodnight peck.
and even your grim phone voice
and plot less stories on sleepless nights
are part of the palette  I've come to adore,
painting magic in monochrome.

I laugh through my words
So my pain goes unheard.
I joke through my darkest hour,
To drain the pain of power.

You won't see me frown,
But that doesn't mean I'm okay.
I'll take the crown,
"King of laughs,"you say.
I'll take the crown,
But the pain doesn't wash away.

The empty square where the app had been
I used it only to speak to you
so now the lot is vacant
It is a new level of disconnect
a notion I can't help to feel
that I am repeating
I can't stand the silence