Sometimes, when I'm trying
To pretend everything's alright,
Though, inside, I'm dying,
Someone sees my inner plight;

"Nigel...Are you crying?"

I manage to hold in the tears,
As if I thought their release,
Would spread the subject of my fears,
That will not leave me in peace.

That's why, when I'm sighing,
I will not confide in you-
When I feel like dying,
I'm afraid you'd feel it too.

"Nigel, please stop crying."

If I stop the pain from spreading,
By keeping it all within,
Then there's not a tear worth shedding.
"Are you crying Mr Finn?"

"No. I am not crying."

She's very much alive
But she is dead to me
The decision wasn't mine
She wanted to be
A tombstone in my mind
A grave inside my heart
A perpetual funeral
That has no end or start
There is no wreath to set
No flowers to lay
The only place that this exists
Is buried in my wake

Fear.

Has picked up my trail
Is looking to find me.

Fear.*

He's right on my tail
He's coming to bind me.

I run through the night
I'm looking behind me.
With no one in sight
I'm running to find me.

Where would I go?
How would I get there?
Will I ever come back?
Would anyone care?

I'm outrunning fear
Running to find me
Who will come near
And help me come find me.

Out of nowhere it strikes me
I fall to the ground
Out of nowhere it fights me 
From pain do I drown

Away from the pain
I go and I swim
But what will I gain 
If I actually win.

I'm running away 
But there's something I lack
I know I can't stay
But do I have to go back?

8/3/13

The purest of blings,
They'd make beautiful rings,
They are the prettiest of things.

Just lie down here
Let me get my scalpel
And we'll begin
I have reason to believe
That all the answers
That I want
Are within you
Your lead line soul
Is quite tough
But with the right tools
I know I will
Begin to understand
And don't worry
This will only hurt
A bit ish.