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Nov 22 · 25
Kryptonite Nov 22
One day ill stop staring at the screen of your chat
Waiting for something to come
Waiting for sweet words once again
Even though its been months

One day I’ll stop waiting for you to come back
One day I’ll stop hoping to see your car on the highway even to pass a glance
One day I’ll stop hoping you’ll love me even a slight amount of how I hopelessly love you

One day, I’ll stop hoping that you’re thinking of me
One day I’ll stop hoping that you’ve asked about me
One day I’ll stop hoping that you dreamt of a life with me
One day … my mind will be at peace without the thought of you in it
One day, I will not feel every ounce of heartbreak coursing through my fragile being from you leaving me so harshly
One day, I wont see your face shouting “Go”, right at me to get out of your car, to leave
An image burned into my mind
One day, maybe the pain will go away.

And although today may not be that day
I will persevere
One day.
Kryptonite Jun 2
everyday i fall deeper and deeper
into this bottomless pit of love for you
my dearest love, how you ****** me so
drawing in my mind and soul
into the depths of your never ending wonder

in bewilderment I sit, that one
so gracefully entwined with the universe
can even prove to exist
thankful to my senses to experience you

my love, I have lived years before you
But I have not felt the blood rushing through my veins
my love, I have heard the birds chirping
But I have not felt their singing in my heart

for even if one day you cease to exist
i saw colour
i heard sounds
i felt joy
i experienced love

all because
of you.
my darling, sometime you overwhelm me with love, with the connections we have, you live not only in my heart but in the seeds of my mind.
Nov 2020 · 86
Kryptonite Nov 2020
I would be blessed to live a life
Gratefully face many years of strife
Just to be able to hold your tender face
Kiss your supple, sweet lips
Stroke your fine brown hair
spend every day in existence to
tell you in every way I can
what a beautiful universe it is
to be able to love you
Nov 2020 · 44
Kryptonite Nov 2020
the warmth in my heart glows from the centre
the centre so radiant and full expands to all my chest
oh my dear sweet love, oh how I melt so
my darling, you are my centre, my middle, my heart

chocolate skin tender and tough
bristly cheeks unafraid to show lines of joy
light that reflects specs of diamonds in your eyes
I shed tears imagining your loving glance

providing a home through sweat and blood
shelter for a body is simple to what you have outdone
given my soul, my heart and my body in wholeness
accepted into a home so sweet I pray to stay

through my angered flashes and words
through my impatient huffs and tensed hours
not once have you shown an inch of tire
only flowing kindness through your sweet supple lips

I will be blessed to be able
to spend a lifetime exploring your heart
such a beautiful mind he encases
in a tender warm face
I wish to hold for all my days
Hair fine and dark I wish to stroke
give all my love to this man
who is an angel in disguise
oh my dear, dear protector
How I love you so.

my dear, sweet man
how I love you so.
Mar 2020 · 55
Kryptonite Mar 2020
what a beautiful thing it is
to find someone who you
want to spend a lifetime in laughter
and someone who desires
to laugh with you forever
nothing more
nothing less
will I ever be so lucky
I truly wonder.
Mar 2020 · 68
aimless reminiscing
Kryptonite Mar 2020
do you ever ask yourself
if everything you feel and experience
is just settling for something
because you've let the truest one
slip through your fingers
never to be seen again
worst still, never again
to be felt
did i make the wrong decision? are there any wrong decisions?
Mar 2020 · 56
Kryptonite Mar 2020
you are all but poison flowing through my veins
cripplingly sweet, oh honey is brought to shame
a needle gleefully I stab myself with daily
a agonizing slow demise a choice I take greatly  
over a bleak existence without you.
i love you but you hurt me.
Feb 2020 · 62
Kryptonite Feb 2020
ink flows from my pen onto the
painfully blank starchy paper
the lines form words then sentences
still, those sentences mean nothing

my chest vibrates and moves
sounds echo through my throat
my tongue strings them together into
an encapsulating phrase yet, insignificant

the dance of my wrists with a pen
the rhythmically pressured air of voice
from a vessel with a soul lacking meaning
unable to communicate my truest emotions

with thoughts never to see the light of day
endless trapped inside that I could never say
the puppeteer within strayed far from her puppet
dancing along a floor dreadfully covered by carpet.
who are you?
Feb 2020 · 256
Kryptonite Feb 2020
never settle for less
Jan 2020 · 59
Kryptonite Jan 2020
who are you
what on earth are you doing
doesn't he love me?
am i that desperate for love?
do i need it?

maybe i am too hollow for this
it will hurt to leave him
it will hurt very much
but I need to salvage my self-respect
he did not take it away from me
but i am letting it

why am i doing this to myself
why am i doing this
you are just
trusting everything he is saying
but how much do you know is the truth
you are
letting your guard down
lower and lower each time and now
have only so much left you
have concealed
what if once he has seen it all
he leaves you open, scarred
he loses nothing

you are bare, hurt and betrayed
once again
can you really bear the pain
i dont like to be put down
yet he is so real with me
is that not good
to gain feedback criticism and learning
at the expense of what
i am falling in love and hence
i am afraid
afraid i will be blinded
******* and bound in shackles
enslaved to this man whom
all i can say is
he is kind
and he is a good man.

is that enough?
what if i lose myself
i can not afford to do that
never again
but will i, with this man
it seems so likely
is it on me

i must be strong
i must be strong
i must be strong
what i want
is just as valid as what
anyone wants and more importantly
what he wants but his is all i care about

what i know and see
is just as valid as what he can see
my perspectives may not be as
experienced as his
but they are experienced differently
and experienced nonetheless

if i need remind myself these thing already
am i already being dominated
if he has already hinted at parting ways
how can i stick around to see if
he will break my heart
i feel out of control
it is new
i am afraid

afraid enough to leave?
one that does indeed keep me happy
maybe i am simply being silly
all can be talked about
but there is this voice inside me

reminding me to always
remind myself to be careful
so very careful

yet all i want to do
is likened to standing at the edge of a
cliff beside a waterfall onlooking a
crystal clear lagoon
take a deep breath which will be the only certainty i have, the air in my lungs
and jump.
lengthy, more of a rant.
Oct 2019 · 296
Kryptonite Oct 2019
is it just me
or is there a splash of magic in
sipping hot coffee
feeling the chill under my skin

distant voices see
the slightest burn to my tongue
cross legged I be
alone to hear melodious words sung
i love sitting in cafe's by myself, whether it is to read, work or simply sit and observe. it feels magical.
Oct 2019 · 72
Kryptonite Oct 2019
How do you become a writer
First you take a whole heart
One that can’t shine brighter
Slowly but surely rip it apart

And in sewing the ragged patches
You in the darkness of a lions den
Wishing the fathomable pain of scratches
Final saviour, some of us found in a pen
We need to get our heart broken immensely before we truly felt
Oct 2019 · 570
Kryptonite Oct 2019
blue peonies
the dragonfly swifts in
pink lilies
landing behind the windowsill
green orchids
piercing screams the creature exhales
one last glance around the empty room
the dragonfly flies out
a pin drops
day 69
Oct 2019 · 144
Kryptonite Oct 2019
maybe the reason you run from some people
is because you are afraid to see yourself within them
Oct 2019 · 32
Burning down
Kryptonite Oct 2019
Strong urges for release to escape
Energy to break away change I create
Give it time they always say
Who are they to promise another day
The start the end we never get to stay.

Questions I hold inside far too many
Keep silent keep it together or its insanity
Look right its a cliff left you got the gun Forward it holds the keys the keys, then
Tell me why I can’t look ahead with peace
Kept searching always astray from what they keep telling you to be

Why , why do we walk this path
we say is written , I wanna run
not write our own with passion, rhythm
You know the song  the one we all
dance to its singing deep from your soul
But we keep it buried from the fear, dying not from growing old but growing cold
Oct 2019 · 35
Kryptonite Oct 2019
Scattered thoughts empty mind
Devils workshop but devil to who
Evil is only evil when its bad to you
To those who benefit is this still true?

They tell you whats good whats bad
What you feel in your heart is it the same
A preprogrammed machine but we still think
Blessed are those with the courage to question

Why do some things not make sense
Oct 2019 · 37
Kryptonite Oct 2019
humans are such confused creatures.
indeed what muddles our minds so
more than wanton desires and curious pain
like blind hamsters trapped in a vicious wheel
Oct 2019 · 36
Kryptonite Oct 2019
is it not such a muddle
to attempt at pretending nothing comes to feeling  
when all that is desired is protection from
unable to simply unfeel the past stings
Oct 2019 · 84
Kryptonite Oct 2019
hold me close but do not hold me tight
when i look into your eyes i see light
fear overwhelms me to run in fright
what comes after the joys of the night?

happiness if its the truth of the word
overcomes me in waves of washing glee
smiles that can't be helped but painted
on a face once believed barren

too good to be true an endless ponder
does this feeling come time bound
or restrained by hidden conditions
surely something intricately wonderful
cannot be so simple?
Oct 2019 · 425
a soldier, not a knight
Kryptonite Oct 2019
guards up, defenses strong
holding an indifferent glare
treading, walking, running on this path
confidence strongly shielded from attack

charged on the embodiment of strength
adorning armor of pain and feeling
crafted in bitter portrayal and forged
with the much hurt he had caused

presumptuous ego from long nonchalance
a journey coldly carved so clearly forward
time only reaffirming the deepened beliefs
that the unguarded to feeling are indeed weak

unbeknownst to the soldier, a universe
would soon make itself known, inescapable
dawning in the most inconspicuous ways
it would seem as though it were all his doing

creeping in oh so subtly, fear greets the soldier
alas! The enigmatic enemy slipped his defenses
the birth of emotion announces itself gallantly
fireworks shoot through his long barren skies

never anticipating that his ultimate defeat
would be through brown eyes so kind
they bring life to a heart deadbeat
hope illuminating a hallowed mind

by falling into the trap so greatly feared
he found solace within unending chaos
bridging insanity an epiphany so sure
he had lost nothing that was his

in belonging an ego is not owed to man
rather amass the one treasure which he
had long been running from in twisted irony
accepting fate that he, possibly was worthy
After all love, he finally embraced his savior.
inspired, very much inspired
May 2019 · 193
Too much
Kryptonite May 2019
i like my flavours strong, and not at all balanced
sour, salty, way too spicy, burning my tongue
and i guess that says a lot about me.
May 2019 · 83
need to hear.
Kryptonite May 2019
write write stop,
some call it loss
some call it a writer's block
i call it a run from
seeing things so real
they terrify you

this one is not meant to rhyme
not meant to fit stanzas in lines
rather open up a filled black hole
with sorrows regret guilt of escape

this one is meant to show
its okay to not know
its okay to fall down
even if it happens
again and again
and you don't quite
know where to go
its okay not to know

as long as you get up
you want to learn
you try to grow
you know you want
to be a good person

the fight still lives in you
even if the light's been turned off
you can't quite see it anymore
its there, trust me its there
i believe in you

with all your flaws
your beautiful curves that don't fit
that don't match what they tell you
that fabulous uniqueness, oh my
it leaves you extraordinary

i believe in you
keep going.
Mar 2019 · 81
Kryptonite Mar 2019
love is a trap
don't fall for it
mind stops working
eyes stop seeing
body too much feeling
you don't see how
its actually killing you
suicide that isn't
actually sweet
it had to be said
Mar 2019 · 139
What makes you
Kryptonite Mar 2019
Stay in the dark
Thoughts dissolve into the ether
Seeping in the all consuming numb

Stay in the dark
Worries fade to be never mattered
Air filled lungs now breathe the night

Stay too long in the dark
Self dwindling ceasing to be a part
Of everything once believed real
Mar 2019 · 164
Kryptonite Mar 2019

For so long feeling every little thing
Day by day thoughts fading until
Now experience all as numb
No, feeling nothing at all.

Mar 2019 · 173
Cry for help
Kryptonite Mar 2019
A head of dreams lost
In this scream of thought
Noises all I hear one voice
After another silence I

Keep searching where to
Be found silence I
Need you now peace
Nowhere to be seen

all i want to do is write
Get these demons out
Stuck in my oh so
Deranged mind
Mar 2019 · 68
Kryptonite Mar 2019
When my sun was down
You were nowhere to be found
When nothing but smiles all around
You bask in the joy of all our fun

So when I do the things you don’t like
When I say what you think isn’t alright
How can you look at me in dismay
Point fingers whisper rumours away

When my skies were nothing but gray
Tears falling every single day
All you did was look away
Pretend everything was okay
You were never there anyway
Mar 2019 · 75
Hurting from my thoughts
Kryptonite Mar 2019
So afraid of the hurt that comes after love
I push away anything that could become
Making a mess of feelings attractions
Hiding from anything that could be real

You came to me like a little child
Opened eyes pure soul a big hug
So fragile so innocent sadly
exactly my fear, kicked myself into
the dirt before anything else could

How could you possible understand
Me and the things I do when even I
Question myself every single day why
Chasing a could of insanity straying
From the peace and the calmness

Presented infront of you all the right
Choices decisions option lined up
They seemed to make sense but no
You had to pick the one less travelled
Risk everything you had and live with
Absolutely no regret
Mar 2019 · 56
Kryptonite Mar 2019
I whispered to the dead of the night
Can you see me
Silence filled the sound of spite
I whispered once more without fright
Can you hear me
A chuckle echoed veiled in slight
Mar 2019 · 63
Burning down
Kryptonite Mar 2019
Strong urges for release to escape
Energy to break away change I create
Give it time they always say
Who are they to promise another day
The start the end we never get to stay.

Questions I hold inside far too many
Keep silent keep it together or its insanity
Look right its a cliff left you got the gun Forward it holds the keys the keys, then
Tell me why I can’t look ahead with peace
Kept searching always astray from what they keep telling you to be

Why , why do we walk this path
we say is written , I wanna run
not write our own with passion, rhythm
You know the song  the one we all
dance to its singing deep from your soul
But we keep it buried from the fear, dying not from growing old but growing cold
Feb 2019 · 60
I’m sorry.
Kryptonite Feb 2019
Sometimes we are forced to hurt
The ones we love so much
Because for them we want the best
And that isn’t always pretty

And the worst part is when you
Can’t even explain the to them
Why you’re hurting them they
Get confused , hurt and then of
Course they have to leave but you
can’t do anything but watch them
Because its you who caused the pain
All because it’s what’s best for them

As much as you want
them always in your life
You love their souls so
You can’t tell them
You watch them
Walk out that door
I am so sorry.

I wish there was another way
I wish I could tell you
How much I truly love you
But not in the way you do
I wish there was another way.
Feb 2019 · 85
Kryptonite Feb 2019
Bound by invisible chains and shackles
People were not meant to be fit into boxes
Ingrained from children lies agenda
Like softwares to fit the systems veranda

Perspectives open them free your eyes
From these illusions that have trapped you
What you are chasing it comes at a price, once
a rebel disappears another chosen sacrifice  

Think once, twice looking for material things
Next, is it really your desire burning
Or them feeding you a broken rhythm
Born simple at a point made complex take a
second thought about that Rolex.
Inspired by a beautiful soul
Feb 2019 · 165
Colour of existence
Kryptonite Feb 2019
If I tell you I’m not okay
What will you even say?
Don’t worry, it’s fine, i understand
I do, its not, don’t say I can

Questioning why mediocrity is, has
Never been an option in these eyes, was
Bliss such a hidden gem or grey
A colour never set in my way.

Intensity, passion every single day
Beautiful moments happiness with a
Mere flower, yet raging storms when
The skies change, already lost my den

Some a million times over, I ask
When will i find my four leaf clover
Will I ever see beyond strong colour
Emotions dreams nightmares all together
Maybe grey was never made in my favour.

He showed me peace in chaos one day
I felt strong with the word you don’t say
Just don’t tell me its going to be okay
Don’t tell me how to feel.
Feb 2019 · 353
part 1- the way i miss you
Kryptonite Feb 2019
full leather brown circles, his
irises lightly lined black
a gaze so sharp, bliss
none from years of strife
a calm of pain held back, with
a smile that dripped honey

all so effortlessly.

oh how i miss those eyes.
an excerpt from a poem that was so hard to write, a piece of my soul you hold with you. knowing you will never see this but you stay in my heart, always.
Feb 2019 · 199
Kryptonite Feb 2019
seeing an array of colours
walk, walk stand, people with
lost wandering eyes
feet in search, directed at
aimless circles to be fulfilled

a heart of purpose
sits quietly cornered
in a wooden four legged
chair, fixated eyes

searching for that same
direction within means
filled with hope to seek
purpose behind people,
lost in the
a sudden burst of inspiration from a girl at the corner of the coffee shop, always invisible to the wandering crowd, a wandering heart.
Kryptonite Dec 2018
o-nobly born...the time hath now come for thee

to seek the Path (in reality),

thy breathing alone is about to cease.

Thy guru hath set thee face to face before with the Clear Light;

and now thou art about to experience its reality

in the bardo state,

wherein all things are like the void and cloudless sky

and the naked, spotless intellect is like unto

a transparent vacuum without circumference or center

At this moment, know thou thyself- and abide in that state...

- The Tibetan Book of the Dead
Dec 2018 · 71
Kryptonite Dec 2018
Each morning remember that you may not live until evening;
and in the evening,
do not presume to promise yourself another day
Be ready at all times,
and so live that death may never find you unprepared,
Many die suddenly and unexpectedly...
Dec 2018 · 72
Kryptonite Dec 2018
Let your word
Not be wasted
In the ears of stubborn

      Let your silence
      Silence  the noise
       Of ignorance and negativity.

       hold silence
       Is to be at peace with  yourself
       Know the worth of your word

      Trust the process
      Stay in faith
      create the future you ought to have

      And where you ought
      To be.
Dec 2018 · 281
a picture
Kryptonite Dec 2018
two in love, a picture found
hair as dark as midnight brushed up
against olive skin carelessly their strands
strayed in a lovely mess feather light
jawbones grazing the scalp
of this lost, doe eyed girl

straight, long eyelashes batted
against the eyebags you never had
somehow still those eyes were
never truly asleep in a facade
without the guilt of a lie

a gentle smirk painted across
that beautiful face you had
lighted treaded freckles
the softest of brown eyes
that always held cunning

mysterious how those eyes
asleep against her waved strands
managed to pretend for care
a yellow collar you had
a woman under your spell

and i had too, those brown eyes
beneath the thinnest lies
stood betrayal beyond lust
unimagined sin
without regret

in this picture
we slept
a picture i found of us, 1 december 2017, it showed up on my memories. it pains me still to write of each excruciating detail there is of this mere picture, but that is how i scrutinized that face of yours, so intricately bound by your deceiving facade.
Dec 2018 · 669
Kryptonite Dec 2018
breathe in
put your lids to rest
would you dare to
hold in the fear
of all forgotten

put your lids to rest
do you hear waves
do you fear the dark
within the clouded mind
your harrowing thoughts

beneath those vivid images
you so desperately escape
lies quietly fluttering dreams
and if you are willing to see
within a shrouded cave below

quaint a little box,
innocently awaiting finding
familiarity in its sense
its owner long gone
holding the spark
you search.
Sep 2017 · 126
Kryptonite Sep 2017
Not concerned with actually doing,
Holding on to meaningless things,
Running in a cloud, bound to fall

Is there any hope, future,dream
That isn't meant to be crushed
By an inch, the slightest
Aug 2017 · 137
Kryptonite Aug 2017
After an eternity,
Blossoming and blooming
Closing, dying
May 2017 · 133
Kryptonite May 2017
But if you let his lips touch yours
My dear it will be beautiful
You'll feel heaven like never before
Butterflies in your stomach

You'll be dancing my darling
The world will look beautiful
He will say the sweetest things
That will melt your soul

But one day, sweetheart
It isn't going to be the same
One day it'll cease to be there
You will taste blood in your mouth

Bitterness in every smile you see
Because of the pain you can't
See pass, you saw that you
You used to smile like that too

And now
You don't know how
To make it through another day.
Every day is living hell

The picture of him
On your table
You still love him.
Even if he broke you
Into a million pieces

You still believe
He will change
He will come back
You keep hoping
And it kills you
May 2017 · 205
Kryptonite May 2017
Like a imaginary dam
Holding back the tears in my eyes
Waiting for someone to care
Who'd of thought I'd be so vulnerable again,
Even worse, being hurt the same way
All over again.

Once I let it happen,
I swore never again
To let someone in so deep
They become a part of me

I fell, stupidly in love
For you half-baked lies
Couldn't care less smile
All in the shortest while

I turn back to poetry now that
I am broken once more
And when all else is lost
I know I have truly sunken deep
Lost beyond control
Yet with a smiling face
The day goes on

You don't know how I'm hurting
Or how much pain you cause
You ask me are you ok
Perfectly fine, as always
Except when you look away
The dam breaks down
Perfectly fine, as always.
Mar 2017 · 105
I can be strong
Kryptonite Mar 2017
Gotta keep telling myself
Over and over again
I can do this
I don't need anyone
I can be strong

God's making me realize
I've been sacrificing so much
For all the wrong people
Giving away parts of me I'm left with nothing
Thinking like an investment they'll be there
But always proven wrong

You may all leave,
I may cry for now but you
Can never break me down
I can do this
I can do this
I can be strong.
Mar 2017 · 235
Kryptonite Mar 2017
And in the end
Im so proud of you
You've come so far from your pain

I know if I was you I wouldn't of made it
Running running that's what I always did
Looking for a shield to protect myself

You faced the truth head on and let it cut you
It shredded you and hurt you so much
They laughed and I was ashamed,
Today you prove to be the man you are
Standing tall and strong

You proved you love us
I love you and I'm sorry for hurting you
I love you so much
Thank you.

You both proved me wrong
So wrong just when I was about to end it all
You stood up and fought for me
I'm so proud to call you my family.
Mar 2017 · 150
Kryptonite Mar 2017
The pain spreading everywhere
You never understood me
But then again who has
All alone in this cold dark vessel

How sorrowful it is to know
No one out there cares
If I wake up tomorrow or not
If I did not benefit them somehow

This crushing reality is too much
For a little individual like me
How have I sinned so hard
For not wanting to hurt another

My times up
Enough of holding on
Letting go
Giving in

You wouldn't miss me anyway.
Mar 2017 · 233
Kryptonite Mar 2017
Hello, this is me
Yes again, do you see
I left once out of fear
Afraid you'll see or hurt me

Its been two months now
I've been away from you
My love for writing remains
Why must I hide
From a mere two human being

How may you hurt me
In ways I havent already hurt myself
The depths of sorrow you may fathom
Has only made me realize
I will never be afraid again

I am just as bold
Strong and courageous
You thought you could scare me
Oh my dear
How wrong you were.

— The End —