This is a rebirth—
I will bid farewell to all this hurting,
I will shed this skin along with what I once felt,
and leave a little thank you note on the fridge
for all the bad days when I felt like sinking into my bed to disappear.

This is a reincarnation—
I'll revel in the familiarity of days long gone like past lives,
I'll listen again to the songs I loved when I was fourteen
and perhaps find new meanings,
I'll search for the innocence I lost to time and age,
and hang on to every bit of soul and memory I can muster.

This is a renaissance—
Little by little I shall rediscover my body and heart,
My soul will awaken with curiosity and be fuelled with a lust for life,
I'll fall in love once more with the world in a different light.

This is the revolution—
It's the dawn of a new age of knowing my own worth.
I have allowed myself to feel and hurt, to love and lose.
Like rebuilding a fallen civilization
I will step forward defiantly and vulnerably,
I will love myself and live unlike before.

Your gaze on someone else
while mine's always been yours
Numb my feelings, mute my heart
I don't want to feel for you anymore.

i feel like i'm calling out to you,
banging on a thick wall of glass
which conceals me somehow,
silences my cries
and stops me from reaching out to you.

this love in my heart has to go somewhere,
its spaces dying to be filled
by the pieces of who you are,
and to be there for you.

i want to love you
but i don't know how,

show me how to.

perhaps it is a curse when you feel too deeply
there's no way to pluck your chest from your heart
so it weighs you down completely

and so the stories are true: life is not all magic
when you're eighteen it's easy to forget

but what is life if we don't let ourselves feel?
being lovesick, feeling heartache
is what reminds us we're real

when you love you have always done it with a fire unlike any other.
it blazes, the flame reaches such great heights and
grows taller than the buildings and trees you climbed
to get a glimpse of beyond,
a fire that has fueled your heart to light up the world
but eventually eats it all up.
this love in the end is no longer a phenomenon
but just a tragedy, a fall of ash rain on a city burnt to the ground,
the pieces of your heart shattered on the floor
reflecting the fool that you are,
you're just consumed by the flames of the way you love—
silly girl, you're gone.

eyes fixate on you
and everything else disappears
(but you and a happiness which wrapped so warmly around my heart)

my gaze which has traveled around the world, which never stays in place,
in those moments were only for you—
you are not just some photographs taken in a rush
of which i have spent time viewing on screens,
you are not a holy icon placed so far up
on stages which someone like me could not possibly dream of reaching
you are not a fabled prince who can only be found in stories—
you are just a boy in love with songs
who speaks in rhythm and rhyme,
you are just a boy to whom movements come so naturally
especially when you are thriving,
you are just a boy with a heart big enough
to be split into thirteen halves,
you are just a boy with a smile so warm
and eyes which speak volumes of words you do not say,
you are just a boy with a soul so grand
that the world found you and just *had to share you
(and i am glad you found me.)

with this i know my heart is safe in your hands,
and with this, i’ll keep loving you for as long as i can.

the trees seemed to peer over us, a story that could begin,
with their leaves falling like autumn
in a country where there was no fall
the wind seemed to give me a little nudge—
in between our laughter i could have told you
i wanted to hold your hand
right when yours brushed mine
i could have asked you to tell me
if you had gotten home safely that night
right there and then i could have told you
that at night i pray for you,
that i always wish we had more time.