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 Jul 2014 Paige
m
conversation
 Jul 2014 Paige
m
we sat there
face to face
mouth dried
heart opened wide.
i thought i'd let you back in
but i've wasted my time
enough already.
i'd apologize, too
i guess
for being so ignorant
and selfish,
but you should be the one
to speak first
but you're not
and it angers me.

i'm angry,
you should too.
i'm sad,
you should too.
i want to say something,
you should too;
but we sat there
mouth dried.

"listen," you said.
but nothing.
just some rain tapping the window behind me.
this *****,
 Jul 2014 Paige
Megan Grace
you always said it
reminded you of
coming home after
your fiancée cheated
on you. today it
reminded me of your
fingers and my favorite
ring. i listened to take offs
and landings the whole
way home. i pinched my arm
through the entire distance
of edwardsville. i drove
in the center lane and
went through smog of
me saying i would have
waited thirty years for you.
i wish there was a
different way home
from lawrence.
 Jul 2014 Paige
Megan Grace
i
am
s  o
sorry
that   i
couldn't
help you
find  your
way    back
to your heart.
but we all get lost.
god you were so lost.
 Jul 2014 Paige
Molly
The ***** hasn't kicked in yet and I know I shouldn't text you again so I won't because the ***** hasn't kicked in yet but maybe when I'm drunker I could send you a text about how much I hate the fact that I lost my virginity to you or how much I hate the fact that I still text you when I'm drunk that would be pretty **** meta my throat burns but I'm trying not to drink too much water because the ***** hasn't kicked in yet and I'm trying not to cry because my parents got divorced two years ago and everyone else seems to be coping fine but I still break down when my dad talks about how much he loves my mom and he's getting married soon and I wonder if she knows she's his second choice and I wonder if it breaks her heart as much as it breaks mine and my parents haven't seen each other in months because it makes my dad sad to see what he is missing but I think if he saw my mom more often he would realize he isn't missing much because since he left she's been drinking and he never liked her when she drank because she gets too honest and cries too much and she told me my friends were weird and I used to think drunk words were lies but that boy told me he loved me and two years later it turns out it was true and I wish he had told me sooner because it would have saved me a lot of heartbreak and maybe we could have been something and I would text him right now but he never likes it when I drink because I remind him of himself and that terrifies him and he got back from rehab a few months ago and he's been different ever since and I don't like the new him and he used to hate people like him but I guess he's happy now I hope he's happy now I thought he'd stopped drinking until he mentioned grabbing a beer I don't know if he's still taking pills but I hope not because I really do love that boy like a brother or a lover it changes a lot and he's going into the military and I want more than anything to kiss him good bye but I don't know if he still wants me and I don't want to make him sad and he's been pretty mean lately but I think it's just the boys he's been hanging out with and my brother says he's changed so much they hardly ever talk now and I remember when they used to be best friends and I hate what time does to people and the ***** is starting to kick in now do you see what time does to people I still have some left I poured myself a juice glass of grapefruit flavored liquor and I don't know how many shots it equates to but I hope it's a lot I need to stop thinking tonight I want to puke my guts out I want a hangover I want to teach myself a lesson but I never ******* learn I don't know if I'll ever stop drinking sometimes I want to die by the time I'm 25 and I think maybe if it's an accident no one would be so upset so if I got in a car accident no one would think I was depressed if I drove off an overpass people would use my story as a drunk driving prevention program but they wouldn't think I left them on purpose and that's all I need I will live my life quickly and leave just as fast because I hate what time does to people and I do not want to be a victim of the clock
I get too honest when I drink
 Jul 2014 Paige
AJ
You can't touch your toes
Or lick your nose.
But you're body still amazes me.
 Jul 2014 Paige
Megan Grace
I keep walking through
clouds of you in every
square inch of this stupid
retail store. I wonder if
you quit because you
were tired of doing the
same with ghosts of me.
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