6years later
My mind calls it illusions
I think it's because we lacked Kodak moments

But how do you create a moment
You never had the time
I wasnt used to spending mine with you

Yet you have created a void
I miss you
I convinced myself that we have had moments

Although everything you had left
Faded
The void has taken over

It has created moments
Non existing ones
I miss you

The Void will never fill
We never had those moments
Memory missing
My love for you will never fade

Pills.
Happiness that comes from pills.

Am I a coward?
Am I taking the easy way out?
Am I?
Am I?
Am I?

Someday we can sit on the grass,
and cuddle and kiss and laugh.

Someday it'll just be two girls in love,
and nothing more than that.

But we can't. Not here. Not now.




But I love you so **** much.

Do you think it is
the sun that loves the moon?
shining shyly, seductively,
enticing and craving
its constant adoration
and undivided attention?

Or perhaps it is the moon
that so desperately desires the sun?
whilst in orbit, always hoping to catch
a glimpse of its radiant beauty,
enthralled by its passion, its strong
and irresistible magnetic pull?

I wonder if their love is challenged by the stars?
striking, dazzling, beautiful,
infinite onlookers, ever-watchful in the sky,
twinkling dangerously, a flirtatious third party,
competing with the sun
or trying to outshine the moon?

Despite their temptation,
the stars fail to weaken or change
the lovers, the moon and sun,
and eventually fade into insignificance.

I am sitting in front of a small coffee shop
listening to the birds chirp and smelling the rise
of cigarette smoke infiltrating my nostrils from
a barrista's hand.

random thoughts rise like smoke from my mind
as I sit and settle into myself and just take in
a everyday of this new city I arrived at last Wednesday.

The life of the urban jungle of D.C. seems far removed from
this sleepy quiet neighborhood.  No sirens every 30 minutes or sounds of construction in the distance.  

All this reflecting takes me further back and makes me muse about how I got from being an angry punk kid to now a 34 year old, who just bought a home with his wife and expecting a new baby.  I am grateful for everything that's been given to me, and especially for the ability to be grateful.

Maybe I don't really need to figure out how, but just here and now fully open to the present.

the wind greets me gently
and i embrace its touch

my heart sings as I ride
into the unknown path