Kevin

Kevin Jul 2014

you don’t understand.
i want to be with you again,
more than anything.
because you were the person
who showed me what it meant
to be truly happy;
because when we were together,
i was the best me i ever was or ever will be.

but the thing is
that i don’t want you coming back to me.
i wasn’t good enough.
i couldn’t make you happy.
and i think you deserve so much better
than i was able to give you.
so fall in love with a thousand other people,
but please, never come down my road again.

#love #depression #depressed #relationship #romance #romantic #writing #couple #couples

Kevin Jul 2014

I need you around

it’s so cold when you’re not around
to hold me and that scares me,
because that means i’ll freeze to death
if you ever were to leave.

i’ll have to learn to be the happiest i could be
on my own and not let the intensity of my flames
depend on someone else’s fuel.

the only problem is that i’m tired
of dreaming about you and waking up
to an empty bed every morning.
i want you there when i open my eyes.
i want the kissing, the cuddling, even the fights.

the bottom line is that you make me far too happy
for me to be completely happy on my own.
you’re more of a flame to me than you are fuel.

#love #feelings #relationship #romance #romantic #emotions #couple #independence #couples #attachment

Kevin Apr 2014

Holding On

It has been exactly 643 days
and I am sick of dreaming of you
every night, just to wake up
to an empty bed in the morning.

I’ll never forget waking up at 3 AM
to realize you were no longer
sleeping next to me.

I still remember the feeling of panic
that overthrew me as I blindly, frantically
dug around in the cold empty blankets,
trying to find the calming touch of your skin
on my fingertips.

No matter how many times
I wash my face,
I can always still see the stains
your tender lips left behind on my skin.

It has been exactly 643 days
and maybe...
Just maybe…
I don't want to forget.

#love #heartbreak #girl #boy #romance #romantic #couple

Kevin Mar 2014

Alone

i am always alone,
because when you are around
wonderful people all the time,
you get attached.
getting attached mostly ends
with falling in love.
when you’re in love,
you’ll draw this perfect picture
in your head with high expectations.
and when they leave,
you don’t know what to do
with yourself any more,
because you only taught yourself
how to function when they are around.
you see… the thing is,
i’d rather experience the depression
caused by being alone,
than the pain caused by being left behind.

Kevin Mar 2014

I'd let you, just because it's you.

i'd put a knife against my chest
and let you press it through
my ribcage, piercing my lungs
and flooding them with
the sadness residing within me.
just because it's you.

i'd hand you a razor
and let you cut me open
from my wrist to my shoulder,
spilling out my blood and demons.
just because it's you.

i'd let you hold a gun to
my temple and pull the trigger,
painting the walls of my
living room bright red.
*just because it's you.

Kevin Mar 2014

Past, Present and Future

I was the five-year-old
who got called names,
was pushed around,
and was physically beaten,
just because he looked slightly different

I was the ten-year-old
who grabbed his father's phone
because he wanted to play Tetris,
but instead, stumbled upon romantic messages
coming from a phone number that wasn't his mother's

I am the sixteen-year-old*
who fell hopelessly in love,
then got his heart broken by the girl
he thought was beautiful and perfect in every way;
the girl who promised him *“forever”

I want to be the seventy-year-old
who’ll enjoy sunsets from his porch,
swaying back and forth in his rocking chair
and hold hands with the woman
he’ll think is beautiful and perfect in every way;
the woman who promised him *“forever”

Kevin Feb 2014

The Girl

You are the girl
I try to draw with my words;
the girl I try to describe as perfectly
as she actually is,
but none of my words do her justice.

You are the girl
with the big silver eyes
that reflect the world
like two clear pools of tears.
The eyes that look past all my flaws
and still manage to find something
they think is perfect within me.

You are the girl
with the little hands
that grab and tug my shirt
when she wants my attention.
The same hands that trace my jawbones
and leave scratches across my lower back.

You are the girl
with the perfect lips.
The lips that drive me close
to the edge of insanity.
The lips that have left marks all over
my rough skin.

You are the girl
that makes me want to write,
because you drive me crazy
and cause my emotions to build up
inside of me.

You are my dreams.
You are my reality.
You are that girl.
You are the only girl.