you are a flower;
started off small,
barely noticeable.
as you grow
and develop,
you become beautiful
and radiant.

you are on
of the few things that
despite all the negativity
still catches people's eye
and puts a smile
on their faces.

now the question is:
"who gets to take
you home?"

my Christmas wish was
to have you here with me,
wrapped in my arms.
the way it used to be, you know?

just us two, huddled together
on the sofa near the Christmas tree,
inhaling the sweet smell
of its wet leaves, watching
the drops of rain collide
with the ground and crawl
down the windows.

I wanted you to sing along
to your favorite Christmas songs
and laugh at me when I tried;
to dangle a piece of mistletoe
above our heads and lose
ourselves in a kiss.
It would have been a December 25th
to remember.

merry Christmas, love.
I miss you.
I miss us.

All I want to do is walk up to her
and kiss her; tell her I miss her.
But I can’t. Because deep inside my brain
there’s this little voice telling me
that she wouldn’t want to me to.
That she doesn’t miss me or want me back;
despite all of the signs my entire being
keeps telling me she’s giving.
And when I do manage to gather the courage to talk to her,
every single word digs its claws
into the inside of my throat, refusing to come out.
She went from being the love of my life,
to just another beautiful girl I’m scared to talk to.
Every single one of our conversations ends up
consisting of her trying to understand what I’m trying to say,
and me staring at the sky and whispering
things that are supposed to mean
“I love you. And I’m sorry”

Whenever she walks past me, I pretend I’m texting,
writing, or even looking for something stuck under my shoe
so I don’t look at her, because I have the feeling
that she does the same.
It feels like she does whatever it takes to distract herself from me,
because in her eyes, I will always be the person who betrayed her.
The person who caused those sleepless nights.
The person who hurt her.

Monday.**
I ran up to you and embraced you,
lifting you off the ground
like you were weightless.
You smiled and hugged me back,
but not as tight as you used to.
When I kissed you, you kissed
me back, but your lips
were uncertain.
I knew I was losing you.

Tuesday.
I walked up to you,
much slower than the day before.
I felt your muscles tense as my arms
slid around your fragile body.
You said you weren't sure any more
And you needed some time.
As much as I wanted to kiss you,
I forced myself not to.


Wednesday.
I decided to be distant and
only smiled at you.
You walked right past me,
staring at your feet.
The smile melted off my face
and for the first time in my life,
I felt what it was like to be lonely.

Thursday.
I said good morning.
You looked right through me,
and engaged in conversation
with someone next to you.
I felt my heart drop.
I felt my ribs cave in.
I felt like I didn't exist.

Friday.
I walk past you with my head low.
You are smiling.
Your fingers are folded between someone else's.
Your lips don't hesitate
when you kiss them.
Your muscles relax when they hold you.
You avoid looking at me.
I lost you.

it's so odd how
when you've been sad
for a very long time,
and something
unexpectedly comes along
and makes you happy,
you'll do anything
and everything to get rid of it,
because being happy
just doesn't feel right any more.

Everyone has someone
they get along with perfectly;
someone they’re at total peace with.
For me, that person can only be you.
You’re perfect; gorgeous, caring and so generous.
You give, give and give.
But for once, I want you to be selfish,
take me for yourself
and let me do the giving.

I want to be the one to lift you up
when you lose hope,
I want to be the one to catch you
when you fall and I want to be the one
to hold you up when you threaten to sink.

Whenever you feel alone,
I promise I’ll be there to flood you
with all the love I have in
body, mind and soul.

Everyone has a moment in their life,
which they wish they could relive
over and over again.
To me, having you in my life
is that moment.
I love you.

letting go of someone you desperately fell in love with may be one of the hardest thing you have to go through in the process of life and love, mainly because most of the time, you don't want to.
 
you want to hold on to what made you so happy; to the person who filled up the void inside your heart. 
sadly, this will most certainly lead to your destruction; every thought, every memory of them claws at your heart and soul, slowly killing you emotionally, eventually leaving behind an empty shell of regret.