If you have lived with suffering and pain,
thinking that all your life has been in vain,
You must re-think from these thoughts to depart,
and really hit the option key re-start.

it was then i knew to quit trying
the unrequited lure -- to quit lying
to myself in lieu of her silence
begging to the moon to requite this

but it was never more -- to her
it was never care -- to her
just fistfuls of hair and
fleeting lust

maybe even that was too much.

I am not coal to be pressured
And form into a diamond
I am human,
Under enough crushing pressure
For ever so long
Never to let up
I will break
For I am flesh and bone
Not of rot and stone

If I am to break
My dear little bones
The pieces must be put back together
Held in tender care behind walls
Before they can heal again
To become stronger than before

So, mind the walls
For I am healing
They will come down when I am ready
When my bones have mended
Strengthened anew.

- Jay M
April 20th, 2021

I don't want to speculate on the the intentions behind your utterances, which I know were meant only to hurt me.

I rehearse conversations
that I will never have
and yet
find myself
perpetually
unable to say
what I had truly meant.