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carson Aug 2019
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I hate you when you love me.
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carson Jan 2020
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Everything
I do
Is
Always
Wrong
In your
Eyes
4am
carson Jun 2020
4am
i love the feeling of falling in love with someone. it’s like i have strawberry fields growing in my stomach i don’t know.
carson Apr 2019
4 AM in my room and I'm high again
Always treading cautious society's a lions den
Feelin' pain I'm just wishin that the **** would end
No one listens so I'm crying on the internet
Won't lie I dont know where I should go
Got walls and a roof but this house ain’t home
Rollin’ up dope I've been outta my zone
I’m drownin' in issues I'm outta control
Tell the reaper to take my life with a scythe quick
Why is pain the only thing my brain can siphon
I've been on a journey tryna find some enlightenment
Why is death the only concept that gets me excited
Should I stay or go that’s been on my mind
Feel like you'll get bored of me I'll be a waste of time
And thoughts of you leavin' been keepin me up at night
So tell me that we're fine
And that we'll be alright
carson Sep 2019
Angry
Mad
Livid
Furious
******
At you

Sad
Depressed
Heartbroken
Morose
Melancholy
Because of you

Unbreakable
Strong
Resilient
Flexible
Tough
In spite of you
carson Oct 2019
Some things, they just don't last
You can't get a prescription for that
Quit shoving these sugar pills down my throat
Cause I'm starting to choke
carson Jun 2019
Cheating on a good person is like throwing away a diamond and picking up a rock
carson Apr 2021
my mind constantly cluttered with thoughts of us.
what we had, what we wanted.
but you took those thoughts, and made them razor blades.
every time i think of you, i’m cut, i’m cut so deep.
the blood is comforting, it’s warm.
just like your hugs.
the blood is sweet, like the taste of your lips, but it’s also bitter.
so bitter and so sweet just like you, my dear
carson Feb 2019
You gave me a sliver a hope,
then threw it down my throat.
carson Oct 2019
I guess it's back to the attic
im so dramatic
its so sad
but the last time i let someone inside
i was buried alive
carson Jan 2020
i
have
been
cursed
with
the
inability
to
love
DNA
carson Dec 2019
DNA
Humans are just ****** forms of DNA who bash on each other for no purpose except to feel better about them selves.
carson Mar 2019
Bite my lips,
Feel the way my body curves
But dont leave scars from the cuts you
Leave.
carson Feb 2019
oh, I'm sinking with the weight of your love.
carson Sep 2019
i'm fueling the fire to keep us warm.
i burn everything to keep you warm.
even my soul
carson Dec 2019
We both loved her,
Sad to say she chose him,.
this is about a girl who left me for a boy she cheated me on me with.
PSA, That boy lives across the street and i have to see her over there when i leave my house.
carson May 2019
This ink, it runs.
This paper is stained
Tears run free as
I'm stuck in a daze.
I put this pen to paper,
To write the words
This voice can't deliver.
My heart is heavy
With pain and despair.
Can't breathe.
I'm fighting for air.
My mind is spinning
At the speed of light.
This pain in my life
Has clouded my mind.
The thoughts are deafening
Of my life, you took away,
But after all my
Heartache,
Someday I'll be okay
carson Jun 2019
It's so cruel to let people love you. All you are doing is promising to break there heart one day.
carson Aug 2019
Hey dad, have you ever wondered how your son was after 15 years?
Hey dad, was it worth going to prison to avoid seeing me?
Hey dad, I still owe you my name.
Hey dad, I blame myself for you leaving.
Hey dad, did you ever love me or have a second thought?
I have never met my biological father:(
carson Feb 2020
When she puts her arms around you,
she will make you feel safe,
but rarely will she take you in her arms.
she will call you late at night
when the radio is playing her favorite song
and tell you how much it reminds her of you.
But these are the same songs
that she has dedicated to those before you.
Listen to her when she is crying
its one of the only times
she will tell you the truth.
she will pretend to understand you, and you'll believe her
when she says she loves all your flaws.
she will tell you she wants all
the same things you do, but she doesn't.
she doesn't know what she wants.
she will tell you
that you are the only thing she needs, but you aren't.
she will want others.
she will believe she is always right
even when she's not and you know she's not,
but you'll stop arguing anyway.
you'll stay because her selfishness and her recklessness
don't seem less than ordinary.
Everyone around you will constantly say how beautiful she is,
a work of art, someone extraordinary.
Until the day she shows the true colors underneath her mask.
They will be dark and dangerous and in your hesitation,
you might survive.
You might just dodge a bullet.
For the person who loves her next,
Because i couldn't.
carson May 2019
I know that I can be selfish and narcissistic and self-destructive, but underneath all that, deep down, I'm a good person.
carson Apr 2020
This isn’t a poem,
It’s a confession.
A confession of all the horrible things I’ve done.
1. I tend to break hearts of innocent people
2. I push people away that need me most
3. I lead people on
4. I give false hope
5. And lastly, I still love you.
carson Apr 2019
I'm sorry, I can't seem to put a smile on your face.
I'm sorry, I can't make you laugh like you used to.
I'm sorry, I don't know how to communicate.
I'm sorry that you are mad at me.
I'm sorry that I don't know what I'm doing anymore.
I am sorry, just please look at me the way you used to.
I'm sorry
carson Nov 2019
The worst part, however, is not that you're a disappointment.
It's the permanent, never ending embarrassment
Of always failing and coming last
carson Jun 2020
and here we are again.
in school i was told never to begin a sentence with and, but, maybe, however, because.
but here we are again
doing the the things we shouldn't.
maybe if we were older we would be wiser
like our parents or teachers, role models of every kind of failed relationship there is.
however i find hope in every bit of our disaster
you say we are two trains headed for a head on collision, but i dont care.
because i like the way you taste when we burn into flames
the teachers may have been right, but you break all my rules time and time again.
carson Mar 2019
I lie awake at night wondering if you ever feel the same.
carson Feb 2019
All the devil on the hill wanted
was a house and friend to share with
Just knock.
carson Jun 2019
Don't think of me too often. I don't want you getting sad. Just live well. Just live. I'll be walking beside you every step of the way
carson Sep 2019
To turn the table
But I don't wanna turn to what you are becoming
And I see
All you've done for me
carson Apr 2019
Your eyes don't seem so bright.
They've lost their shining light.

Your smile,
It was a perfect style.

So elegant and right;
Now it's been pulled tight.

Your face looks gone,
Like when humanity's last breath is drawn.
carson Feb 2019
Hello, best friend, we have done a lot, And lately, I've been seeing someone and I feel as if I'm hurting you in the process and I'm sorry.
I'm sorry I am who I am
So recently I have been seeing this girl and I think I'm slowly cutting my best friend out but I shouldn't.
Mom
carson Dec 2019
Mom
Dear mom,
You point out everything i do wrong.
I have 4 other brothers and yet i'm still the first to be framed.
I am depressed and you know this,  i take medication and I wrote a poem about,  would you like to hear it?  
probably not.
But if you do, hear it is, mom.

Being sober makes me think
My medicine makes me numb
My therapist doesn't know how to help me
My parents make me more depressed
I'm just overwhelmed
carson Mar 2020
My therapist asked,
"How do you prepare for your day?"
I simply replied
"i count my lies and find my mask."
carson May 2019
silly girl, you don't have to love me.
just respect me.
carson Feb 2019
You're not to blame,
I'm just not the same...
carson Feb 2019
This candy hart is you,
It says 'only you'.
There are no other candy hearts,
and the glue is your love.
You are melting me
carson Jan 2020
overwhelming and revealing
this amazing feeling,
this ache i crave, this desire,
this emotion you inspire.

Beautiful, unexpected, never to part,
a collision between two hearts,
passionate and pure.
this is love for sure.
-love, carson.
carson Mar 2019
I know the way I look isnt great.
I know.
We are all different and beautiful.
Do you ever walk into a Forrest and see a 'perfect tree' no? Because they simply dont exist, every tree has its issue. Some lean this way or that, even some have a little bit too much moss, but humans think there beautiful. What about yourself or others.
carson Apr 2019
Rocks

Rocks and people are both alike
Igneous rocks are for people that are full of anger
Metamorphic rocks are for people that have different social faces
Sedimentary rocks are for people that are friends with anyone
Every rock was made the same way though,
Every rock is unique.
There is no such thing as a perfect rock. Perfect is a 10 letter word that doesn't exist, for example, trees.
Trees and rock are similar if you look at it a certain way.
Some trees lean this way or that and some have missing bark or just have a little bit to much moss.  Some rocks have holes or there a little to big, but despite the way they look humans find them beautiful in one way or another.
carson Feb 2020
you stabbed my back,
it spewed the lies I told
carson Nov 2019
Replace all of the pain
with this Novocain
Reasons we broke up
It is me who we blame
and it drives me insane.  
All of the pain that you have caused
i can not withstand
carson Sep 2019
when you look at all my red flags through rose colored glasses all you see are flags.
carson Oct 2019
Im used to being see- through
but it feels so bad when it happens with you.
carson May 2019
Actions speak louder than words ever will, so show me you love me. Or can you?
carson Nov 2019
You ever wake up with your footie PJs warming

your neck like a noose? Ever upchuck

after a home-cooked meal? Or notice

how the blood on the bottoms of your feet

just won’t seem to go away? Love, it used to be

you could retire your toothbrush for like two or three days and still

I’d push my downy face into your neck. Used to be

I hung on your every word. Used to be. But now

I can tell you your breath stinks and you’re full of ****.

You have more lies about yourself than bodies

beneath your bed…
our relationship was toxic.  i gave you so many chances
carson Feb 2019
Why am I holding onto something that I should let go?
I tell myself that I'll be okay.
Why should I hurt myself and put you on a pedestal?
I fall and make the same mistake.
carson Feb 2020
all i can say is sorry.  
sorry that i was your punching bag who fought back.
carson Apr 2019
Do you ever wonder how SpongeBob can soak up all the bad and still make everyone happy around him?
I thought about this at 3 am
carson Apr 2019
When you sit on that hill with her just remember
I once was up there too, looking at the stars.
When you look at the stars, so are 2 other people in the world.
carson Jan 2020
Sorry for all the bad things I did, I was too immature for what we had, I really learned how to be a better person with time and learned from all my mistakes, but it is too late now. It is sad how I miss you so much but to you I'm probably just a lot of bad memories, I hope one day our paths cross again, even if just as friends, I would **** just to have a laugh with you again.
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