In a life of blackness
within the darkness swirling around
I ponder
deep into the darkest night
wishing, wondering, waiting
for something to happen
but not here,
not in this charcoal dust filled room
clogging my throat and my nose
I can barely breathe
but the black dust dances,
creating a story of the demons
and devils that fill my soul
The blackness thick around me
like a cloud
suffocating
me...
but I die
knowing that I was right
I died within the blackness of the demons that haunt my soul
I died with the devil inside of me
---------------------
And with me inside the devil.

a sweeping overload of emotion
that takes me and chains
my ankles and wrists the ground
and takes my soul from me

she wonders
she travels
she believes
she achieves
she laughs
she cries
she lives
...
I will never say those next two words in fear of making them a reality
She will never die
her spirit will live on forever
in me
in us
as a whole

They want a perfect child.

Someone who likes sports.
A girl who gets good grades.
Friendly.
Funny.
Innocent.
Someone who pleases them.

I'm not a perfect child.

I don't like sports.
I don't get good grades.
I'm not very friendly.
I'm not funny.
I'm not innocent.
I don't please them.

Still, they want a perfect child.

They're not going to get one.
At least, not out of me.

I'm still not a perfect child.

I'm not a child anymore.

I'm broken.
I'm bent.
I'm destroyed.