It's hard to write a poem
When there's nothing going on
It's hard to think of what to say
When you've given most of it away

As poets we never scratch the surface
We delve within, disclose our deepest sin
We crave our pain, declare it's for our art
Yet more often than not have no idea where to start

But start we do and start we must
A deep desire in all of us
To spill out on the written page
What little bit we have tried to save

Ink now is the poets blood
Fragments of self pour from within
Silence is our safety net
To stop us from bleeding out

Although it's hard to write a poem
With nothing going on
We still find words to form a verse
From deep within our marrow bone

Work © Mike Hauser & © Sia Jane

When I died
Face down in the night
The ambulance
Parked outside

My friends
Much older
Carried me
Over their shoulders

Pumped full
Of something
On the couch
I felt nothing

They thought
I died
That night

In a sea
Of red
Barely breathing
Strapped to a hospital bed

They called
My Father
And
I never told
My mother

They told
My sister
She could have
Lost her brother

Morphine
Took over
And I
Went under

I should have died
Alone that night

Just another girl forging the beat.
Led zeppelin on her tee shirt,  doc martins on her feet.

She walks with a stride
Then blames it on pride,  when really it's the tight leather that surrounds her feet.

Play her any two songs and she'll just nod along.
She'll be wearing a new band in a week.
Letting trends set,  before she takes a hold. Last week she liked her coffee hot, this week she likes it cold.
She went from liking guys with long hair to men who are bald.
And so on and so forth, now she's getting old.

Her youth waisted hiding behind a face painted with short lived fads.
'I'm a lesbian,  this is how I was born, this is who I am, dad.'

Down two klonopins with beer
Tuck yourself in & stare at the walls
You can't help but think,
"this is no different than all the nights I've tried to sleep sober"
"But this will be the last time"

1:20 A.M.*
hey, I just wanted to tell you I miss you.
read 1:21

no response.

We were beautiful children
And we grew up so brave,
We were touched by death and heartbreaks but we stayed just the same.

We listen to jazz all night and drink red wine,
Find ourselves adventure to pass the time,
We don't talk much about the pain we've felt inside,
No more bumps in the road,
Just enjoying the ride.

Our love is too strong to carry weight of what's gone,
We find peace in the sun,
And the belief of being young.

Love of mine in the world,
We are one in the same,
You can laugh while you're crying and be childish when you lose games,
We are fine, we are okay,
We are in love,
And our children someday will be just like us.

It’s been a month,
Feels like a new life,
Hopes and dreams await.
There are things that I want, things I feel,
Things that I still don’t know.

A new place,
A new home,
Exciting new things await.
What lies ahead I do not know,
I hope it's worth the wait.

Still afraid,
A little bit unsure,
Many a day I feel insecure.
Seek comfort in all that you find familiar they say,
But that’s not what this move was for.

I will still try,
I will not fail,
Determination is what I seek.
A new phase, a new life,
Is what I would like to achieve.