I was restless for the past days
I could not get anything done
I stared at screens
for days and days
Then I realized I was alive
It does not seem like much
but I was suppose to be dead
I should have died on the 12th of June
But I didn't
I am still here
The happiness that overflowed me was incredible
I am alive

I lost
I know I did
I did not realize I was
Losing
I know I lost
I stopped fighting
You don't have to remind me
I lost
I already know I did

After 5 years
a little less
I lost you
I lost you all
I know I did

You don't have to
Keep yelling at me
I already know
I lost
I stopped fighting

I lost
I know I did
I did not realize
I was hurting you
But now I know
I hurt you
So I lost
I know I did
I said sorry
I am walking
Away
I lost

I know
You can stop yelling
I apologize
I stopped
I am walking away
I lost you
I know

I lost
I know I did

                                   So please stop yelling

If sadness was a choice
people would choose to be sad
There is never a choice
People cannot be happy
without being sad

which is sad, so now I am happy

When I lost you
I don't remember losing a part of my soul

In fact since I lost you
I don't remember having a soul at all

starting to move
I was trying
I wanted to get up
leaving, leaving LEAVING!
I was nearly gone from here
I could see life again
I had already imagine the sun
and the flowers
and the friends
family
love
and joy

But you came
you kicked
I was already down
you kicked me
all that I wanted to see again was
leaving, leaving, LEAVING
you kicked me
I will never see them again

I wonder if I have already written her down
If I didn't, I did now
Will she live forever?
In eyes not yet born?

No, because this is unseen work
She will not live forever
She will die with you

"Why do you do it?"
"To stop the pain"
"Owh"
"You?"
"To feel pain"
"Why?"
"It is better than feeling nothing"
"Owh, you think so?"
"Yes"
"I don't"

Words are all I have
You are word-breaking
How can I love you

Words are all I have
I love you
I sure as hell have nothing now

Please forgive me
I have the worst kind of writer's block

I have thoughts pouring out
from everywhere
I still can't touch my pen
I have no right to be angry
no right to be hurt
no right to be sad
It was my fault

So please forgive
Give me back my right to be
my right to write