I was always worst in the morning.
Burnt out hungover and in need of something to eat and a few strong aspirin.

The phone. rang and its normal intrusion always gave me the knee **** reaction to smash it into the wall.

But being i couldnt afford to live let alone replace **** i answred it instead.

Collect call from Austin will you accept the charges the operater asked ?

In her mock happiness from sitting in one spot listening to people for which she probaly held as much regard as i did.

I didnt need to ask from who only trouble and bill collectors call me in the morning.
Usally the bill collectors dont call collect.

I excepted .

What is it Cheryl?

The timid voice came through as she always did whenever she wanted something.

Hi baby how are you?
I'm sorry i had to call you this way i know it costs .

Don't sweat it I wont pay the bill anyways .

I hated phones and pretty much wasnt a fan of human contact altogether.
Well minus certain ocassions .

So what you need kid?

You always have been a blunt person.

Have to be when it cost me by the second sugar.

I wanna come home baby.

Yeah thought you left me to go home.
What happend didnt go to the right home?

Please Jack I need to be back with you this time apart made me realize just how much i truly cant be without you.

It had been over two weeks since Cheryl had packed her **** and had me drop her off at the bus station .
She just took her bags turned away and walked out of my life.

She was a pure ***** maybe thats  why i liked her so much .

I hit the bottle and she hit the highway bound to the state she called home to the life she claimed to have thrown away for me .

That last fight had been a glorious shouting match I usally took.the sarcastic smart *** route but i had enough of her ******* and lies .

I was a ******* but least i was a honest one.

Jack please i'm coming home either way.

I took the last of my money to buy this bus ticket .

Yeah so why call me if your coming back anyways?

I knew full well why she was returning.
Cheryl was the type that required far to much maintance for anyone to handle let alone people who werent getting something in return.

Baby i just wanted you to know i ****** up I cant live without you im coming home to you.

I paused for a moment thought about that perfect body and the nights it layed against me in the calm of a harsh summer night.

I thought of the nonstop chaos .
The fights she was a woman of great passion maybe thats why she was so good in bed .

I was hungover like hell lonley but i would heal the strong ones always do.

Baby are you there ?

Yeah well thanks for the warning sweetheart .
I said as i simply hung up the phone and unplugged it from the wall.

Yeah i needed alot of things.
A new liver ,Maybe a job that didnt drive me insane .
A good bottle maybe a meal inbetween.

I needed more than a few things .
But a hurricane of emotional horse **** i did not .

I took four asprin and returned to bed to sleep it off

It was silent in the room dark and empty.
It was the most peace i had known in a very long time.

It was what I needed.

He loved me like no one else
No one..
A Lineage of Voices
Calling out, Speaking
Each Word an Invocation
Rites an Ancestry
Holy Ghost
We Soul This Bonding Bring  Forthwidth
Tears upon the Flesh
Growing Brighter We DO SEE
A Way
For LIFE
Above The Prayer
Now Rise

Be oh be
he said,
silently
she
listened
With half an ear
and a tear in her eye
I
blew a kiss which
hit the dartboard
scored a double top
It didn't stop

the volume increased
even as the silence
ceased
and I knew
that
it would be.

For no reason
No reason at all
I have grown numb
To the world around me

No will to get up
In the early morning light
No care for those around me
But why, why be this way?

Nothing has happened
I've lost no one
Life is just a gray fog
The reasons behind it

Remain a mystery
But maybe that is why,
Nothing has happened
I'm at a stand still

Is it time for change?

This night as I lay upon a smoky stone
Seven lines I say, my mantras own.
Adrift in the sky as my prayers atone,
Im alive here, now in the astral zone.

As fear becomes strength my nemesis fell
Tempting my faith, *** heiress, my grail.
Her face became snake like, her skin turning pale,
A wraith to be slaughtered, lust could not prevail.

With powers of godlike capacity,
I take flight over towers immensity.
Propelling me forward, towards destiny,
My unlimmited source of ecstasy.

Beyond what is light, I could never know
Blinded by fright, moralities throne.
Duality is as simple a god can be shown,
For man is both astral, still birthed from stone.