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 Feb 2016 Anthony Carrasco
Born
We all walk the same path
How far we travel depends only on ourselves
© Ibrahim
1
vying for oxygen
fighting for air
it felt like that when your hands were in my hair
but now you're gone and it feels like you didn't even care
6
All I know is that I lost myself
I lost who I was when I met you
And I don't mean that in a good way

I'm no longer the person I was
I've lost my smile,
My voice,
My wit,
And my spark.

I no longer see the beauty in the things I used to
The words in novels no longer engulf my thoughts
The artwork on the walls no longer catch my gaze
The lyrics of songs no longer make me sing along
The people around me are no longer people that I can confide in

I could write more but the letters of the alphabet don't arrange in such a way that I could accurately express how you have changed me

When you left, I left too
But only one of us ended up okay
Hello me
it's me again
I get the feeling
I can't come in

it's been months now
on the outside
and I don't have a soul
to confide

Confusing as such
try my world much
the TV talks

yes to me
there are things Im sure
others just don't see

and suicide cheers
outside jeers
it would be sadder had I succeeded
lord if they knew the world that proceeded




Hello me,
its me again
I'd like help getting back outside
see I'm locked in

a place others fail to see
when they smile and look at me
Wait no, covering is getting harder
reality is getting farther

mixed in the madness is truth I know
but how do you tell them what is and ain't so

I think the truth finds me
my job isn't to make others see

Why is beauty hidden in lies
Why does my mind stay jailed while my soul flies
" about my personal journey into crazy "
it seems we got it wrong
in reverse
man made god in his own image
 Feb 2016 Anthony Carrasco
Love
I'm done repressing my gayness
Because it's the "Christian" thing to do.
I will wear ******* rainbow ****** pasties
And march in a pride parade
If I please
And then go to church and praise Jesus
And God and the Holy Spirit
For making the way I am
And how I am
Because he made me perfect.
I am gay
I am Christian
I am proud to be both.
I see how white light startles.
I snapped a pic and she spun in circles.
She wanted a photograph
to cover her mother's epitaph,
so she could have a laugh.

She smoked to get away -
but this isn't what'd she say,
exhaling, "All we are is carbon
and a lack of empathy."

We blended into hues of
microwave dinners
and church alters.
I used to tell her to go
just to halt her.

We prayed to get away -
but that's not what we'd say,
whispering, "Help us be more
than carbon and a lack of empathy."
---
Nowadays I know
That I still exist
Even when you don't say goodnight.
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