I should stop obsessing over you
I tried.
I even made a boyfriend , for three months while you're away.
I thought now that you're out of my mind.
But just when I learned that you're coming back in January
All memories resurface as we were talking about work,and life.
You always say we are still young but i don't think so.
We are 25 Michael. 25. I should stop obsessing over you.
But i can't.so well, you know.

He said Your name

as He reached for me, reached for the child
who He says unbuckled His pride and knelt
with sin and sweat (or is that blood?) on her back.
His reverence pleasured itself against the length of her throat
she left her mouth agape,
gagged to submission
but he wouldn't know the better.

and as He sunk deeper, wounded me, and sunk deeper still,
soul scorched under his Divinity and Damnation,

He said Your name.

in that moment, oh God oh God oh God
did You forgive Him?

when I was a kid I could see life was hard
didn't know it would take me this far
when I was a kid , I didn't know crime
didn't know lies
didn't know who died
and I sure didn't know why mama cried
I was too young but I knew things deep inside

and the next morning she woke
with two black and blue eyes
funny how they looked like mine
but she hid them in disguise
and I didn't know why
not at the time
I thought things were fine

going to school just to come home
never had anything to rely on
never talked about where I was from
living in a hateful world but having so much love

& I grew up but nothing changed
everyone loves to treat life like a game
living day by day, always the same
but when you play the game you get played

I remember back when I was ten
never met my dad so figured he was dead
some days I'd even pretend
dying to just fit in

I got people bringing me down everyday
I tend towards speaking but have none to say
crying at night, I than pray
its not always black and white
sometimes I see grey
keeping my mind open to follow my dreams
that's me being me
searching for something meaningly deep

I guess that's just life.

The pain in my head,
The pain in my heart,
The pain that ruins my pleasant day,
The pain that brings the dreaded rain,
I cannot bear it any longer,

I tried to hide the love,
I tried to hide my feelings,
I tried to hide the truth,
My lies unveiled themselves,

Under the stars,
The truth revealed,
The feelings released,
Now I just have to wait,
Wait for the hurt,
Wait for the pain,
Wait for the inevitable,
Wait for death,
Alone, I will be,
Till time has ended me,

I just want you to know I tried.