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Nov 2020 · 170
The Edge
Nasus Nov 2020
“The edge is not the limit....
It's only the starting point!”
You shout as you hurl yourself off the cliff
Into the unknown,
No need to be fearful of the unexplored,
No need to hold yourself back no more,
For the unknown is where the joy and adventure is,
Where hidden delights and pleasure  
And hitherto unrevealed love and kindness
Are patiently waiting for you
To take that leap of faith
And to welcome you
Into the unknown
Into the bliss
Nov 2020 · 127
Choice II
Nasus Nov 2020
Life is simple,
Two choices,
Fear or Love,
But the outcome is immense
Depending on which you desire,
A life of rejection,
Or a life of connection,
Fear or Love
What choose you?
Nov 2020 · 137
A Sign
Nasus Nov 2020
Today I ask for a sign oh Lord
That you do truly exist
To help me believe
And take a leap of faith
So I know, in spite of my many errors and faults
And tangled thoughts that tie me up in knots,
There is hope
There is purpose
There is love
I am loved
You love me
I love me
Nov 2020 · 199
Faith
Nasus Nov 2020
As human beings
We need to believe in something,
Otherwise we drift through life
Purposelessly
Aimlessly
Hopelessly
Not reaching our potential,
For we are all here to help one another
To lift each other up
To support and guide and care.
Without faith and belief
We feel disconnected
Lost
Hopeless
Lonely,
Our ego and self absorption
Hiding us from the truth,
Our truth,
Increasing separation
Anxiety
And discombobulation,
Rather than connection
Purpose
And Oneness
With all living things.
What to believe in is up to you and based on your culture and what you’ve been told,
Though be careful of man made religion designed to control according to human narrative,
But God is a good starting point.
A higher being connecting all of us through love not fear,
Who is always there for us
In love, compassion and forgiveness
No matter who we are or what we do
We only need to ask and invite Him in.
Nov 2020 · 165
What’s Wrong With You?
Nasus Nov 2020
‘What’s wrong with you?’
Was the bane of my childhood.
Without waiting for my answer,
Accused
Judged
Found lacking
And sentenced
Without me even uttering a word in my defence
Other than protestations of unfairness and injustice,
All swept aside and ignored
For my voice carried no weight or import.
Then punished whether guilty or not.
And even now still hung, drawn and quartered without my side of the story being heard or even asked.
Judged
Found guilty
And sentenced
In absentia.
When what I need now is a supportive
‘What happened to you?’
With empathy
With compassion
And a gentle caring ear
Nov 2020 · 127
Life As An Extra
Nasus Nov 2020
Bucket list item,
A dream come true,
In my 50th year
An extra in a film,
Not just any film,
But big feature film with famous stars!
5:30am early start,
Breakfast in individual covid pods,
Undergarments on,
Hair and makeup,
Outer clothes on,
Boots brushed,
Creases steamed,
Lipstick touched up,
Hair curled and sprayed within an inch of its life,
Top to tail inspection,
Bussed to holding area,
Hours of waiting,
Deep and meaningful conversations,
Histories divulged,
Books devoured,
Ping pong with sellotaped paper ***** and paper plates!,
Sleeping,
3 meals a day
Preened and touched up some more,
Line up
Yet another inspection,
Walk to set.
Back to holding area.
Walk to set,
This time we’re on.
Sometimes told where to start,
Other times make it up yourself,
With very little direction.
1930’s German,
Unshapely winter coat and thick woollen tights
Looking 20 years older ******!
Walking along German street
Trams and old cars,
And mashed paper snow!,
Glancing in shop windows
As the main protagonists walk on by,
Sometimes repeat after repeat after repeat after repeat
Of 10 seconds of filming from every angle,
And others wrapped after 1-2 takes.
Freezing cold, rain, sun, never puts us off,
******* screens to block out the sun
Blue screens at the end of the street and the top of buildings,
Sheltering from the rain in shop doors in between takes,
Bonnets on, masks on,
Get in position, bonnets off, masks off.
“Rolling” they shout,
Klaxon sounds,
“Action vehicles”,
“Action background”,
“Action”
Here we go again.
Oct 2020 · 91
Bystander No More
Nasus Oct 2020
I’ve been an observer all my life
Eavesdropping on other people’s lives
A bystander
Not living at all
With people talking about me, around me, behind me, at me, but not with me.
Today I was in it
I was involved
I was a participant
I was part of adult conversation
I was equal
No longer on the edge
Looking in
But fully participating in my life
And it felt wondrous
And oh so new
Oct 2020 · 149
Love, Trust, Respect
Nasus Oct 2020
If you want love,
Love yourself
If you want trust,
Trust yourself
If you want respect,
Respect yourself
Oct 2020 · 121
Free Spirit
Nasus Oct 2020
I release all that is no longer serving me
All that has been holding me back
From being the free spirit I am
So I can fly
So I can soar
So I can be me
And do what I’m here on Earth to do
Oct 2020 · 49
Trust
Nasus Oct 2020
I trust you implicitly
I’m ready
Guide me
Show me the way
And remind me to breathe
Oct 2020 · 44
New Day
Nasus Oct 2020
Wake up!
It’s a brand new day
A new beginning
A new start
A new possibility
To be who you want to be
To do what you want to do
To start living your life
To start achieving your dreams
On your terms
And of your choosing
And to live your life
With fullness, joy and abundance
Are you joining me?!
Oct 2020 · 152
It’s My Life
Nasus Oct 2020
It’s my life
I choose how I live it
According to my values
And my gut
My Life
My choice
My consequences
It’s up to me now
And not you
Any more
That’s my freedom
Oct 2020 · 150
Thank You
Nasus Oct 2020
All that’s needed
Is two little words of
Thoughtful appreciation
And
Acknowledgement
To show that you noticed
That I took the time to care.
So valued in their receiving
And so excruciatingly lacking  
In their absence

Or is that just me?
Oct 2020 · 98
I Might As Well Be Dead
Nasus Oct 2020
I did what you did
I said what you said
I felt what you felt
I believed what you believed
I was what you thought I should be
I was so well hidden
I might as well been dead
Oct 2020 · 107
I’m Not Used To
Nasus Oct 2020
I’m not used to being asked
For my opinion
My point of view
My thoughts
My feelings
What I want to do.
It’s not important.
I’m not important.
I don’t matter.
All my life
I’ve just been told
What to do
(Whatever you want to do)
What to say
(Whatever you say, or nothing at all)
What to believe
(Whatever you believe)

Always treading on eggshells
Holding my breath
Afraid to say the wrong thing
Do the wrong thing
Be the wrong thing
That would spark a spiteful retort
Piercing my heart
And dashing my dreams.
Acting always in fear of consequences
And never living at all
Oct 2020 · 205
Growing Awareness
Nasus Oct 2020
Blindfold off
Scales removed
Awareness and
Growing realisations
Of what deep down I already knew
But too afraid to admit openly,
As too many hangover feelings
Of how it felt to be
Downtrodden
Abused
A thing
An object,
Too many layers of others
Like a straitjacket
Confining me
Restricting me
Hiding me
From my true self
From my destiny
From my soul’s path
Oct 2020 · 162
Pearl
Nasus Oct 2020
Scared
Of my feelings
My passion
My joie de vie
Trampled and caged and abused for so long
Knowing it’s time
For the oyster shell to open up
And reveal the stunning pearl inside
Born from grit and uncomfortableness.
Knowing it’s time
To accept my fate
To embrace all that is and
Allow myself to experience
True passion
True connection
True love
Oct 2020 · 90
The Phoenix
Nasus Oct 2020
Standing in her hard fought power and glory
Like a Phoenix risen from the ashes
Ready to take on the world
To protect those in need
And to stand firm
Against the cowardly oppressors
Of the truth
Oct 2020 · 197
Blinkers Off
Nasus Oct 2020
Disempowering
Negative
Malicious
Beliefs from him
Imprinted onto me
Manipulating and controlling me
Blinkering me from the truth
Leading me down rabbit holes of lies, confusion and brain fog
For years and years
Leading to defensiveness,
Aggression
Unhappiness
Sadness
Denial of my true self
And my qualities and passions,
Keeping me playing small
Insignificant
Unworthy
Undeserving,
All because he was afraid
Of my greatness
And my strength.
*******!
Blinkers off!
They weren’t my beliefs!
None of it was true!
They were lies!
Letting go
Of this distorted perception of self
To enter into a deeper understanding of who I am
What I stand for
And to embrace and
Love and
Accept
All of me
As I am
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