When I told you I missed you,
and you said,
"It's only been two days".

When I wrote paragraphs,
And exhausted breaths,
Explaining to you,
How much I REALLY liked you,
And you didn't say anything back.

All the times you outright ignored what I said,
As if you couldn't hear me,
And just smothered me with a kiss, instead.

Remember that.

I'm happy I'm out,
But the memories of me staying around,
Begging for your attention are what haunt me.

That's the tricky thing about relationships,
Not knowing what's temporary or permanent,
Because the good memories never go away,
No matter how old they are,
They can feel so recent,
Because we can always relive them.

But always remember,
Just because a person deserved you in the past,
Doesn't mean they will deserve you forever.
Just because they kiss you,
Doesn't always mean they like you.

I count the seconds till the clock strikes twelve,
The only thing I can count on.
No cakes, no candles, no presents,
No friends expected.
Another year and day about to pass,
The loneliest day of the year.

I know no-one will knock,
But I sit close to the door.
I know no-one will call,
But I have my phone ready.
It is the longest day,
As I wait for them.
It is the shortest day,
As I hope they make it in time.
Nobody knocks,
And nobody calls.

On this day,
I blow out imaginary candles, and wish
With all my heart,
That I didn’t have a birthday.

"Dare to be different"
I say, following the ideologies
of Everyone around me.

Oh what a lonely night
I have succumbed to
Was it my choice?
By what I said
Or was it because of
the blanks in between those words
And those nights
Never the right phrase
Never the right praise
What do you want from a dying girl
Who exist in her head
Do you wish she come out,
Dedicate her soul to you?
Or is her blinding truth
Of how you don’t matter
Shattering your ego
And making you crumble
Dont you realize?
Her self doubt
and how she too, struggles with not meaning
I merely a speck in the eye of this city
Where I dream of being a statue
With my lines written across the chest
Is being mute
What will it take
To finally make a friend
In this garbage of surroundings
Should I put on a fake
Will you read it then?
Or will I still be **** in the end
I'll share the death bed
And we will fall asleep in our shattering dreams
Of living on in someones heart
For longer than a beat
But to you that is a no,
Because I am not good enough
To waste your days away
And in the honesty of my heart
I see the way you sway
And you too, are different than my wants
Its not meant to be
I keep telling myself anyway

i wanna go now.my heart is breaking.
i wanna fly now.my hands, are shaking.
i can't move.i can't move.i can't make a single move.
i know, you are not mine.but GOD! i love you so.
i wanna own you.and stay beside you.
but how? tell me, how? so i can smile somehow.
what have you done? what have i done?
why things must be this complicated?
and this, i expected.
but i let me. i let you.i let myself to fall for you.
over and over again.thousand and thousand of times.
four times, i saw your face, in the person of others.
four times, my eyes were deceived, what is that? your power?is it love?
is it my love for you? please set me free. can you?
i know i don't own you, but mutually, you own me.
please, can you just let me be me?i am in pain now, though i smile
i smile, though deep within, i am still hurt. it will **** me.
but better than i am just here, watching you.
I love you. please set me free and please, don't tell me you love me too.
just keep those words.i don't want to hear.
for i know, i will ask for more. and if i do, will you stay with me?
and can you promise, it will only be me
i don't know. i don't wanna know
for you broke my heart once.i now hands up. i now give up.
for i don't know what to expect from you.
i give up now, i give up. i will just continue loving you... away from you.