I've realized that my poems
Are always so romanticized,
Always dancing around the idea
Of loving from afar

Today let me try to be
A little more straightforward.

I don't know what it is
About your demeanor
That has caused me to fixate
Over things that ended so long ago.

For someone who writes so much
About your beauty,
I don't even remember
What your face looks like
Anymore.

I can no longer recall
The way your hips
Would sway,
Only that they do
In a certain manner
That makes you, you

I've forgotten how your
Voice sounded that day
By the steps of the old basketball court
Back in boarding school

Or how you'd giggle
When I'd start a phone call
With just "Hey, beautiful."

Whether or not you read this,
What I do remember
Is how your hand clasped
Perfectly into mine
Not a forced fit,
Almost by design
And the way your singing voice
Loved to ring clear and true
Perhaps if I knew how to harmonize
I would've joined in too

Of all the things I don't remember
And to the few that I still do
Thanks for loving me as you did
...

... And Beautiful?
This one's for you.

Find her again,
And let her destroy you
Completely this time,
For you will not find
Another
The way that she found you.

Find her again,
And let her love flow like
Ichor, divine
For you will not long
For another
The way she has longed for you.

Find her again,
And feel safe in her arms
As if you'd never leave
Cause you wouldn't weep
For another
The way she has wept for you.

Find her again,
This time feel her in your veins
Almost as if to say
That your heart could not beat
For another
The way it had done for her,
That your eyes cannot tear
Away from the stare
That made you believe in 'forever',

For despair in her loss,
A most profound pain
Will only remain
Until

You find her again
And let her destroy you
Completely this time.

Bite of the lip and bedroom eyes,
Craving this long tongue of mine,
What do you desire, my Queen?

I'll make you squirm in ecstasy.

Your eyes are closed, the moans, the sighs,
You sense my lips, the kisses, the bites,
Clawing my skin, wanting more.

Guide me with your hand, where you want me to be.

Where will I kiss, where should I go next?
The lip, the neck or maybe the breast?
The possibilities are endless.

Imagine the best, I'll be even better.

I'll descend on you,
Lower, lower, lower,
I'll go a little slower.
Savor the time we have together.

I'm going to enjoy you.

The inner thigh, closer and closer,
Around and about, tongue brushing over,
Your strong scent taking me over.

In.

I'll let it go wild, you feel the heat,
Of my tongue going between the sheets,
Licking the creases, the walls, the treat.

I won't stop until you let go.

You can take a guess.
There's so many things I can do to you.
There's so many things you want me to do.

But there's no fun in that.
I can't read minds.
I am no psychic.

But I can listen,
I can take your order.
So let me serve you.

But you'll need to command me,
Compel me to continue.
So tell me what you want.

I'll be your main dish.
I'll make you full.

I'll be your dessert.
I'll make you come for more.

*I'll make you beg for it.

Encased, wrapped by delicate hands,
A gift, for months it had been planned,
For me as a reminder of our connection.

Decorated with glitter and gold,
A deck of painted cards that told,
"52 Things I Like About You."

Colored paper and animal drawings,
A little lovely journal showing,
All the adventures that we've had together.

"You like me. I like you. Let's be together forever.
You were the best thing that's ever happened to me.
Stay with me. You're all I need in this world."

Oh I remember, the thoughts that raced
Through my head whilst in your embrace:

"I want to be with this girl forever.
I want to love her, support her, and be with her
Every moment that I can.
I will stand by her side and take her with me through
Ups, downs and many different hardships.
And we will triumph. Because we have each other.
She was, is and will always be my everything."

I could view a year's worth of memories with you through this gift.
All the happiness, the joy, the laughter and the fun times.

And now I have to throw it away.
Such times end eventually.

It's been half a year since I had no one to embrace.
No hand to hold.
No partner to support.
No one to keep me up on my feet.
No one to catch me when I fall.
No one to stay by my side.

So it shall be, all things must end.
I have to throw this gift away.

Why can't I?

I'm still holding it. Why?
I'm tearing up. Why?
My vision's getting blurry. A stream, a flood.
A cry from the inside, hands shaking.
My emotions are killing me.

Stop. Please.
You're long gone.
Why are you still here with me?

This gift is keeping you here.
I have to throw this away.
I need to throw this away.

But I can't.

*I just can't.