Alone
Always alone
Please
Somebody
Find me
A home
I want to belong
to someone
other than myself
to be the lover
of another
and be loved in return

I am tired
of abandonment issues
the exit wounds
being torn through
left bereft
with holes
and scars
shallow breaths
and worn out beats
a broken heart

For once
I just want to be held
and not put down
not let go
but treasured
kept
swept
off my feet
cherished

All my friends
seem to have come and gone
I feel so alone
Lonely
Always second
a hand-me down
Never first
an afterthought
sought after
only out of convience

It hurts
worse each time
I break open
to let someone in
only to be shut out
by them in the end
Again and again
the third wheel
spinning tirelessly
circling the drain
swallowing pain

When will they notice
that I am shambles
bleeding from the inside out
internal wounds
Hemorrhaging
from all the cuts
the back stabbing
Is it really that hard
to love me
to see me
accept me
for who I am?

I know Im quiet (introverted)
and awkward at times
high on anxiety
lowered to depression
but funny too
sweet and kind
intelligent mind
heart more courageous than a lion
loving fiercely mankind
Yet everyone leaves me
in the back of the car
like a crying baby
forgotten in her booster seat
in Summer heat
dying from neglect

Alone
Always alone
Please
Somebody
find me
A home
I want to belong
to someone
other than myself
to be the lover
of another
and be loved in return

One day
I wont have to try
so hard to be relevant
cared for/about
by the very people
I've come to adore
beg for attention and time
In time
I will find my tribe
kick off my shoes and relax in my socks
by the fire place of warmth
my soul embraced and loved

No longer the one calling out
to hear only a dial tone
or answering machine
receive no response
No longer will I walk
as the wind
nor be the waning moon
an empty shadow
silent company
of leaves and trees
hollow
A bystander
A dead end
or one way street
the ghost unseen
someone who no longer exists
in their world

One day
Ill finally find myself
at home
right where I belong

Russian roulette
one black gun
& a silver bullet
shooting star within the darkness
I bled a wish for love
(for you)

dulcet whispers
breaths of tiny lights
the flicker of hope
a candle encased
in the softest shell

breaks

the rain falling gently
too fragile to touch
fine china
collecting dust

my heart remains hidden
within a cabinet of dreams
awaits my prince
to be awakened
by tender kiss of love

Everything
fades to black
the loneliness
a cruel darkness
and I yearn for light
the candle of your eyes
warmth of your soul

a want
that grew into a need
to be something more
than a seed
or the root

but the center piece
the core
the rose
that blossoms in between
the depths of your soul

a written palm
within your heart
the love that makes you whole

I am reaching
a raven's call
within the darkness
through fog's folly
(smoke and mirrors)
of blurred clarity

to penetrate
the surface details
of your skin

I want to touch
the inner parts of you
to know the love
that lies within

to hold on
to the hand of your heart
and never let go
to submerge
in the deepest part of your river
and drown
in that soft thing
that reaches beyond flesh
beyond bone
an entering into the soul
to rest within the heart
that soft thing called love...

Your hands
a flawless perfection
always reaching
in that tender way
to hold and keep safe
my fragile heart

You are
the poem unwritten
my eternal dream
a wordless poetry of
infinite love

and even
with only half a heart
I know no other way
but to love you
utterly and completely

So take my hand
we have nothing left to lose
except the pain
for love waits
to fill the empty space
the cracks (our broken hearts)
mold us into something beautiful
makes us whole

How this sadness hangs
a weeping willow tree
in the silence
a heavy burden lingers
waiting to be lifted

dark skies
moonlight embedded in my skin
pulls close
my paper thin heart
whispering softly

"let the light in
don't lose hope
in your dreams"

As the stars weep light
I catch their tears in my eyes
hope for the weary

And in the space
between the mountain of trees
beyond hopeless reality
upon the softest clouds
I lay to rest the dreams I dare to reach

Disconsolate
as weeping leaves
falling aimlessly
into a black sea
where light is a dry fountain
and only darkness blooms

a lonely rose
     as memories hang like
        spiderwebs in cornered
           walls
             where loneliness crawls
              recklessly
                aband­oned by love

all I know of life
is forgotten without your touch
only emptiness remains
cold flesh and hollow bones
a heart that beats no more

As night falls
I find myself covetous
of starry skies
whose eyes adorn you
eyes I wish were mine

Envious
of the shadows
curled within your light
all the dream
that lull your mind to sleep

Jealous of solitude
the silent hours that dance
admist the music of your heart
the darkness that penetrates your flesh
drowning in your every breath

breathing in your soul
all the languid arms that hold you
in peaceful slumber

And as the rain falls
I drown in thoughts of you
my heart enshrined in love's memory
curses this darkness
this need to be near you