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Myaja Black Aug 2018
I built a flowerbed last night to soften my landing
                      because I always seem to fall  abruptly
                                My lover promised to catch me
                       He said Sunflowers are something to hold on to
                             So he puts his hands on my hips and
                              tightens his grip as I loosen my heart he feels me expanding
making room for all that he has to offer
                         Welcoming him in and welcoming him home
                       Cuz I've been away from my Sun for too long
                      You ever seen a sunflower grow without the light
     It's possible but I always find myself growing in the direction of his warmth
                                       He asks me how does it feel
                            cautious to make sure he's giving me enough
                                             I tell him I want it all
                  because who doesn't want a love without measure
A poem about my current love life.
  Aug 2018 Myaja Black
Busbar Dancer
People only ever want to ask me about
the poetry -
those verses about
busted up noses in outer space;
about the pros working
way down passed
the corner of Broad and Main;
about fistfights and hard, hard drinking.
But I built a flowerbed this weekend...
Twenty two tastefully irregular stone blocks
in a crescent moon shape,
filled with the blackest of soils.
The sweat of toil.
The digging.
The planting.
Exotic grasses. Asian maybe?
Purple and yellow flowers.
Zinnias or some **** thing.
All covered in a thick blanket of brown mulch.
It's a fine thing to have dirt on your hands
instead of blood.
No one ever asks me about flowerbeds.
  Apr 2018 Myaja Black
AhhhWhatdoIdo
Mighty Sunflower:
Tell me,
What can you see that the Daisies can't see?
What have you witnessed, that the Dandelions are blind to?
Tell me,
Do you share with them, this world you've seen?
Or do you just prefer to be alone?
  Jan 2018 Myaja Black
Lexie
Who am I
To know the course of life

Who are you
To question such a thing

Who are we
To bind our souls together

When we both know
That eternity will tear them apart

Time is no respect of persons
She pays no heed to manners
And tears do not urge her spirit

For what is life
That we can change circumstances
That clocks would listen to our plight
That the sun shine all of our days

No, we are only responsible for ourselves
So we can only change such
I would not trust a mortal with the placing of the stars
So how can I even show you such a thing as my heart?
  Sep 2017 Myaja Black
Sandoval
You compared us,

to Paul Newman
and
Joanne Woodward.

But baby, you ran.
He stayed.

Tell me again,
how we're still the same..

*Sandoval
Having Depression is like finding out that mermaids are real
It doesn’t make sense to you until you’re getting dragged to the bottom of the ocean
And then you think
Oh
That’s what this is
And I’m drowning now,
That’s just……… great
And eventually, with your last vestiges of breath left
You float back to the surface
And you’re fine.
And that’s it.
Mermaids stop existing again.
Because you never actually saw what grabbed you
You only felt the claws around your leg
The cold, clammy hands tugging
With a force that you could never fight against
But you never saw her
So it was all a dream
Right?
And it happens again and again
You are drowning again and again
Until the water begins to feel like home
And the only thing reminding you that you are alive
Is the burning in your lungs
And when everything you had balanced so very carefully starts falling
Off the shelves of your life
When your “mild” depression starts deciding it wants to be more
When being alone makes you feel dead inside
And when losing your cool for one ******* second makes you contemplate your own demise
When do you admit to yourself that you are slipping
You are sinking and just because you can slow your descent
Does not mean that you’re not still drowning
And at the end of the day just because it took you longer to get there this time
Doesn’t mean you aren’t still lying on the ocean floor
Devoid of light and sound
And if you had just climbed onto that now distant boat and sailed away
You’d be fine.
But climbing was too hard
And sinking is so much easier
And you’re scared that if you reach out
Your hands will feel clammy and cold
As they wrap around your friends throats
And drag them down with you
And you would rather rot at the bottom of an endless sea
Than let that happen
So you lie in darkness and wait
For a sound
The singular resounding sound
Of failure
And you slowly float back to the surface
Take a deep breath
And you’re fine.
Because mermaids aren’t real
It’s all in your head
This is normally performed aloud, but I wanted to share it with you all, as well
Myaja Black Sep 2017
I have never made love
                      Although I thought I came close to it
                          My lover pressed his body on me
                              as close as he could that night
                               Frank Ocean was on repeat
                 And I felt feelings I've never felt before
                      I thought we were making love
        but you later handed me back my heart in pieces
             and now your dancing in someone else's bed
                    How could you have ever loved me?
                      We couldn't have made love if
                           I was the only one in love
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